She causes us to compare our lives with her own, and we tend to fall short. She literally has the capacity of a Merchant ship, whereas we might not even want to get out of bed. She manages her household with precision and flair, whereas we might be swamped by laundry and be out of bread, again. She's looking out for the poor, whereas we might not even have enough for our own. She's making her own garments out of flax and wool, whereas we might be wearing a two day old stained jumper.
(Woolen art work by Susanna Theron)
She's one of those High Bar Bible verses, and I mentioned in my talk that only Jesus can reach the standard of perfection that God requires, and He did. He was and is, literally and practically perfect in every way. His love is perfect. His humility is perfect. His purity is perfect. His peace is perfect. His joy is perfect. His forgiveness is perfect. His strength is perfect. His timing and capacity are perfect, and if we're Christians, we get to live in His perfectness, His righteousness, even though we know we don't measure up. If we're not Christians, then it is available to us, by admitting our lack, saying sorry to God for it, and asking Him to exchange it all for what Jesus has to offer us.
The frustrating thing about writing a talk, and studying scripture about it, is that you start to feel a bit uncomfortable in some areas. This can be the Holy Spirit bringing some truth and challenge to your own life, not just the lives of those you're writing the talk for. That's not what I signed up for, I'm bringing my wisdom to others, not God bringing His wisdom to me! (Folded arms, stamped feet, pouty cross face).
At one point, I had set up my littlest with her favourite programme, and a wealth of snacks so I could be upstairs and write about managing a household. And all of a sudden she was back with me. I reminded her about her snacks and the TV programme, but she said she wanted to be with me instead. I was really frustrated by this, as this was my 'window' to prepare and I let my annoyance be known to her. I text a buddy about it, half joking and half reaching out to share my Grrrrr. She sent a prayer text back, which wasn't what I wanted either. I wanted empathy, and 'poor you'. Grrrrr.
After a while I took my notes downstairs, set it all up on the sofa, near to my little one, and started writing a prayer of frustration instead of my notes. I felt a softening in my heart, as God reminded me that He is always available to me when I want to spend time with Him. And He loves it when spending time with Him is my heart's desire rather than anything else. My littlest was just showing me that in the simplest of ways.
As I finished my prayer, the childminding babies woke up, so my window of prep was over. I hadn't worked on my talk at all, but God had worked on my heart, and I had managed my household a little better and spent time in the Father's perfect love.
Throughout the preparation for this talk, God really spoke to me about who is in my household, and whether I'm running it well. I felt definite challenge in some areas, and encouragement in others. As a result I have even decided to lessen the hours I childmind.
I literally need more time spent on my household, and have found a way for me personally to do so. I'm not practically perfect in every way, (especially practically to be honest - I forgot to pick up my own child from nursery last week). And I don't claim to be, but I do know someone who is, and it's only in Him that I can do anything He sets my hands to anyway.
"God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God". 2 Corinthians 5v21