Trick or Treat

I have been asked to put pen to paper, or fingers to keypad, in relation to Halloween. I think I have steered clear of blogging about it in the past, because on the estate where I live, it's celebrated and enjoyed by most people. It's a real bringing together of the community, with houses decked out, hundreds of Trick or Treaters and amazing make up (see my friends in the below photo). I wouldn't want to offend my local friends. But hopefully they know me, and trust that I'm not trying to spook them (see what I did there), or ram my views down their throats, I'm just putting my views out there, because another mum has asked. 

The Bible is very clear about avoiding witchcraft, and mediums, and occult activity, but it doesn't say. "Thou shalt not carve a pumpkin". The Bible is very clear that there is a spiritual world; forces of evil and good. But the Bible doesn't say, "thou shalt not collect candy, wearing a pointy hat". 

For us, we teach our kids that there is Good in the world and there is evil, and we want to steer clear of evil.  People quite like to believe that there may be angels, but not so much the darker side of things The Bible describes the evil one as prowling around, looking to destroy. If there was an actual animal, like a lion prowling down my street, wanting to destory my kids, I would do everything in my power to protect them from it. And I want to do the same for them, spiritually. 

Christians have differing views on Halloween, and that's okay as long as we don't 'allow our own convictions about a holiday to cause division in the body of Christ, nor can we use our freedom to cause others to stumble in their faith. We are to do all things as to the Lord'. (Quote from GotQuestions.Org) Growing up, we didn't have anything to do with Halloween. We didn't answer the door to Trick or Treaters, and that's ok. That's how my parents wanted to deal with it, and it really taught me that the darker side of life, should be avoided. Others embrace the full dress up, in a fun, less spooky way. 

With my own kids, we have varied what we have done over the years. They don't go Trick or Treating, and at school they can opt out of activities if they want to, knowing that colouring in a Pumpkin isn't going to kill them. But based on the starting paragraph, we have tended to want to bless our community. Everyone is coming to our front door, and we know God doesn't turn people away, so we have wanted to show this in our actions. We have given out a good treat, and stuck a verse on it; God being the light of the world, or Jesus coming to save us. I'm not convinced anyone has come to know Jesus because of it, but it's our way of sticking to what we feel is right, and loving our friends and our community.

We've tried to explain that the Halloween holiday is different culturally for some people and countires. And we aim to be non judgemental no matter what others views are. We teach into the history of the holiday; the day after being All Hallows Day, when people would pray for past christians that had died. (Seems a little pointless, if they were already dead, but that's for another day...) And the imagery was that the goblins and witches would come out the night before to hinder those prayers. And trick or treating came from the poor asking to exchange food for prayers for the dead. I mean, there's a whole load of stuff in there?! We aim with our kids, to teach into magic, darkness, things designed to cause fear, and where the line between good and evil isn't very clear. (For example in regards to Harry Potter, but again, that's for another day...) 

We want them to live as children of the light in a world of darkness, believing that Jesus came to be that light. He came to protect us from the evil one who wants to destroy us. He would literally give the prowling lion a kicking, so that it wouldn't be able to get to my kids. 

If you show a child (and let them eat) a slice of cake or pie, explaining that the 'thin end of the wedge', is just the very start of the slice, but how tempting the wide bit of the cake or pie is...you can relate that to what seems like the 'harmless' bits of Halloween; the dressing up and eating sweets, in relation to an enemy who wants to destroy them. Kids do remember teaching more if they can see, feel and especially taste it. Mmm I fancy some pumpkin pie now. (This is a not so subtle hint to my friend who makes them!!)

So we've tried to teach into these areas when we watch films, programmes and see things around. We had to also underline with one very literal child, that he wasn't to shout "Halloween, turn it off" whenever he saw a pumpkin, skeleton or a spider on the TV, and remind him that God did make spiders, skeletons and pumpkins, and we're not to fear the pumpkin!

Mainly, my kids don't want to miss out on sweets! So we make sure they have sweets or treats to enjoy, explaining that God loves to give and He says to taste and see that He is good. We've not allowed our younger children to go to the door to give out treats, simply because the faces and masks can be super scary, and I don't want to expose them to things that will scare them, or numb them to what is actually scary. Sometimes we have celebrated light, during what can be a bit of a darker evening, simply with light up balloons and glow sticks, but mainly they just want the sweets! 

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them". Ephesians 5v8-11

My friend has designed a Halloween Activity Sheet, if you'd like to purchase the printable. And this 3minute spoken word from Glen Scrivener, is a great watch.

We're All In This Together

It feels like quite a big deal to open the laptop, and attempt to put my thoughts on paper. I don't know about you, but the longer I go into this Pandemic, the more some things seem quite free to leave, (which is a bit ironic as so many people aren't actually free to leave). I've watched creativity leave, closely followed by effort, energy, writing skills, new ideas, the ability to focus, and the desire to see people, just slowly up and leave. I didn't even try to stop them. I literally opened the door, and let them walk right out. The ability to stay awake, literally legged it as soon as it knew it could wander off.

So, time for a blog because I'm reminded that mums need to know that other mums feel the same, otherwise we assume everyone is doing better than we are and then the mum guilt, life guilt kicks in...Afterall, we're all in this together, as the new slogan goes.

And not just mums, it seems like the whole world is tired. 2020 is quite the year isn't it?! Disappointments, redundancies, cancellations, changes, 'the new normal', mask wearing, social distancing, plastic screens, Government changes, the Rule of 6 as a House of 8, Zoom meetings, and online life, as well as the normal hardships that life throws our way.

I miss church so much. I think I have realised just how much I relied on

church. I was encouraged by an interview I recently watched, with Andrew and Rachel Wilson. They said that it is right amd expected to find the lack of in-person church, spiritually exhausting. We were designed to be together. But I think I may have relied on church for my own spiritual journey, my own walk with God, and without it, I've found that really hard too. 

I'm so impressed with what has gone into making online church happen. From churches that have hardly any resources or people, to ones that can do a bit more, go a bit further. There is no lack of what you can find online, with Daily Devotions, kids worship albums, quizes, Kids Tv, Zooms, worship, Small Groups, and Alpha, as well as church services. I know it's not the same, we all know it's not the same, it's very different, but the resource is wonderful, and the effort people have put in is amazing. I'm pretty sure that when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, with huge walls of water either side of them, a few may have said, 'well this is different'. 

I do find Sunday mornings quite hard. I think I'm desperate to worship, hear a preach, with my own church community, but the kids are kids, and don't seem to have the same desire in the same way, and the husband is often on screen rather than watching it with us. And funnily enough, when my attitude is better, it does go better. The Bible encourages us to 'go and make disciples', and this is an ongoing action with our children, not just a Sunday morning activity. Likewise for me and God, my walk with Him can't just be dependant on a Sunday morning's input. Thankfully He's available, every day of the week. He came to us, entered our world, to save us, to love on us, to demonstrate that He is with us, that we are all indeed in this together. Now that is a resourse! 

I thought I'd share some helpful tips from myself and others, which may encourage your Sunday mornings, your online church engagement, with kids. I haven't done all of these, (advice is much easier than practise), and those I have done, I have found a range of success and failure in. And probably best to state here, for comparison's sake, that I have passionately shouted, on a Sunday morning, "Would you all just shut up so I can worship", at my darling children. 

Tips; 

*Set and manage your own expectations/attitude. (Easier said than done, in this current season, but God hasn't changed and He promises to strengthen us). 

*Pray beforehand. Go 'expectant' of God to speak to and through you and your kids. (Who could we bless as a family? Who could we pray for? Leave a voice memo prayer for someone. This can help with just 'watching/consuming' church and actively doing church).

*Teach into 'an enemy who wants to destroy' and distract, from church involvement.

*Teach into the importance of church, church community, (committment and serving too) kids ministry, youth work. And acknowledge the difficulties of this season.

*Research beforehand what your children can do/watch/be part of. (If your church isn't doing something, find a church that is. Support what your church is doing, but feel free to add to it).

*No screens before church (So their first screen engagement is church, and there's not a battle to get them off).

*Plan to Sabbath well... what yummy food could you eat during or after church? Even bake with the kids on the Saturday. (But not something that adds stress to the morning). Make it the best hour of their week, your week.

*Colouring books, notebooks for doodles during preaches. (Effective for adults too).

*Do what works best for your family? ....A song and your own teaching, or an online resource all involved as a family...Kids doing something in another room while you do church/zoom... 'do' the service later when kids are in bed...make toys available, like Lego or colouring whilst you engage....all be in for church and talk through it all....kids tune into their church whilst Facetiming other kids from church...kids get their teddies to be part of the congregation...do some ironing while watching, so kids are less likely to bother you (If you sit, kids will want your attention. Just happens).

*Keep going. Try again. Forgive them. Give yourself grace. Talk to God. Repeat next week.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10v24-25