One Pink Toothbrush

Welcome to One Pink Toothbrush, where I will be posting moments from my days as a mum and as a wife. Funny moments, messy moments, thoughtful moments, teary moments.... and hopefully using each moment to see what God might be saying.



Saturday 23 June 2018

Little Girl

“Heavenly Father…”
Oh wait a minute, I’m being called. She calls me because she needs a wee. I ask her if she needs my help. She says no. I leave the bathroom. She asks me to stay. She asks me if I need a wee. I say I don’t. She says I could try. We could wee together. I do a wee. We sing the weewee song. I wonder if other people know our song. Mums must know it. She says her wee was yellow. She asks about mine. I say yellow too. We wash our hands. She wants to stay and wash her’s for longer.
I leave the bathroom.

“Heavenly Father...”
Oh wait a minute, I’m being called. She needs me to turn the tap off. She asks me where the water comes from. I explain pipes. She asks where the pipes go next. I say they’re underground. I realise there’s stuff I don’t really know, or ask. She heads off to her room.
I put the kettle on.

“Heavenly Father...”
Oh wait a minute, I’m being called. She can’t make the microphone work. I show her the wire and the switch. The one I showed her yesterday. She asks me to sit on the bed and listen to her song. I don’t really want to. I listen to her song. Not sure what the lyrics are. I don’t think she minds. She says it is my turn. I really don’t want to. The microphone is wet.
I sing a song into the microphone. She likes my song.

“Heavenly Father, thank you for today...”
Oh wait a minute, I’m being called. She says she needs a plaster. I ask her why. I know it doesn’t matter. This will only end in her getting a plaster. She says her knee is bleeding. It’s not. She fell over. It was four months ago. I go get a plaster. She calls down the stairs. You’re not getting my plaster. I don’t call back. Sometimes it’s easier that way. I give her a plaster. I’m sorry about her sore knee. She gives her head-tilt. She’s thankful for the care. I suggest she plays with ponies. She plays with Barbies. I go down seven steps. She calls me.
I breathe. Or was it a sigh? She wants to know the pony’s name. I suggest a name. It’s the wrong name. She suggests a different name. It’s the right name.

I gather the washing from room to room. But not her room. I don’t want to disturb her. I head downstairs. Wet washing transferred to the dryer. Dry washing into the machine. I put the kettle on. I clear away the cereal boxes. I clear away the breakfast bowls. Someone has left their lunch behind. I unload the dishwasher. I re-load the dishwasher.

“Heavenly Father, thank you for today...”
She asks me what I’m doing. I said I’m talking to God and I’m cleaning the kitchen. She says she is so hungry. I ask her if she wants an orange. She doesn’t. I ask her if she wants toast. She doesn’t. I ask her what she wants. She doesn’t know. She suggests crisps. I say no. She says she’s so hungry. I say it’s not lunchtime. I suggest an orange. She says toast. I say please. She says please. She offers to help me. I breathe. Or was it a sigh? When she helps, it takes longer. I say of course. She drags the chair across the floor. She’s done this before. I hand her the bread. She pops it in the hole. We press the lever down. I put the kettle on. We wait for it to pop. Up it pops.

I put it on her plate. I reach for the butter. She says her can do it myself. She moves the knife over the toast. But not the butter. It doesn’t spread. She says my can’t do it. I say we’ll do it together.

She says I don’t love you mummy. I know what she means. She wants my shocked face with a follow-up tickle. I do my shocked face and the follow-up tickle. She leaves the kitchen with her plate. I make a cup of tea. I wonder if re-boiling does change the taste. I sweep the kitchen floor. I dustpan and brush the kitchen floor. I pick out a hair bobble. A Lego man. A marble. I put them on the side. I empty the black bag into the outside bin. I put out the recycling. The recycling bin needs squashing down. I wonder which days it gets picked up. I see a missed call from the school. One of them has left his lunch. One of them has bumped his head. I say I’ll bring the lunch. I spray the sugary kitchen table. I wonder about the solidity of Weetabix. I grab the bleach. I bleach the loo. I put the loo rolls in the bin. There’s no black bag. They’ve all gone. I put a make-shift carrier bag in the bin. The kids will all miss the bag. I make a mental shopping list. We need toothpaste. I should write it down. I breath.
Or was it a sigh?

“Heavenly Father, thank you for today…”
Silence. She doesn’t call me. Where is she? Why is it so quiet? I should check on her. No she will be fine. But it is quiet. I have a look in the lounge. She’s found her dummy. She’s hiding behind the curtain. She’s found the iPad. She’s locked out of it for seven minutes. I say she needs to ask to use the iPad. I remind her about her toast. She doesn’t want toast. She wants crisps. I wonder when the dummy will go. I tell myself I’ll make the call soon. I laugh at myself. No I won’t. It brings me peace. I mean her. It brings her peace. I don’t know where all the other dummies are. I’ll add two to the list. I need wipes too. I should do an on-line shop. What else am I getting? Black bags. I ask if she wants her bin lorry. She does want her bin lorry. I get her bin lorry. I gather washing from her room. I should have added it to that wash. I’ll stick it in the washing basket. What is that smell? It’s coming from the washing basket. I’ll do another wash later.


“Heavenly Father, thank you for today…”
Silence. She doesn’t call me. I grab my tea. It’s cold. I put it in the microwave.

“Heavenly Father, I’m sorry. I don’t think I remember how to pray”.
“That’s okay, precious daughter. I never sigh when you call my name. I love when you call my name. Even if you only get round to just calling my name. I also know your real name, not the name you’re called by. By the way, I made wee yellow. I know all the names of the ponies, real and plastic. I know where the water comes from, every-day water and living water. I always want to hear you sing. I sing over you. I delight in you. I know where you’re hurting. I care.
I’m with you in the every-day. In the mundane. I’m with you, even when you think you’re capable of doing life without me. Even when you can do it all by yourself. I’m just waiting for you to ask me. You can even ask me for crisps. I’m patient with you. I can soften hardened elements which need purifying in you. I can clear up the mess. I can feed you. Even when you don’t love me. Even when you’re silent towards me. I’m still here. I know where you’re hiding. Sometimes you lock me out. I know the code. I can wait. I know what you need. I am your peace.

One last thing, I made tea!”

Photo Credit: Her

Tuesday 19 June 2018

5 A Day

I was reminded recently about my 'Fruits of the Spirit' Instagram stories, from a while back. Last week, a different friend asked me how my 'word for the year' was going.  And this morning two of my boys fed back to me about the 'Fruits of the Spirit' which they learnt about in their different Youth groups. My word for the year is 'intentionaI', and I don't think I've been very intentional lately, so I appreciated the nudge to be so. And as a result, I've remembered this blog post which I was meant to be intentionally writing! 

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5v22-23) 

The fruit of the Spirit, is a bit of an odd thing to say isn't it?! It is basically the result of the Holy Spirit’s presence in the life of a Christian. The Holy Spirit makes us more like Jesus. The Holy Spirit produces types of fruit in us, that reflect His nature. If we're spending time with, and allowing God to shape us to be more like His son Jesus, then we will show these fruits in our lives.

I don't know about you, but I sometimes remember things better, or find it easier to teach something if I have a visual representing it. Even better if I have a taste to go along with it. So I got out some pens and paper with the kids, and a load of fruit. We listened to the Fruit song, and then I asked my children which Fruits of the Spirit they felt they showed a fair amount of, and which ones were lacking. We shared fruit, or drawings and some vulnerability with each other.

One of the younger ones said they were good at drawing, (missing the point a little) it was encouraging to see her brother point out to her, that actually she was really good at showing the fruit of love, because she showed love to their younger sister when she didn't deserve it. It even prompted him to say that he wasn't very good at that one, because he struggles to show love to younger siblings when 'it's not fair'. It was wonderful to hear that self reflection, which is hard for adults, let alone a child sometimes.

I took the plunge, and asked them which fruits they thought I was showing in my life, and which I could ask God for more of. They said I was very good at patience, which I struggled to not be shocked at, but I could do better at peace; an interesting one I thought, so I asked in what way. They said that when I raise my voice or shout, it takes the peace away. It was challenging but I think really helpful for me to hear how things affect them. It's helpful too for them to see that I'm also in the category of 'sinner saved by grace', someone who has also 'fallen short of God's perfect ways'. Yes I'm mum, so I have more wisdom and experience than them. I assume I know more Biblical truth than them, but when it comes to sin, I'm in the same camp as them. And when it comes to 'Fruits of the Spirit', again we're in the same camp. We can expect the same things in our lives, the more Jesus-like we become. 

I went forward for prayer at church Sunday just gone, and the lady prayed for a Spirit of Repentance to be upon me; meaning I'd be quick to see and know when I've fallen short, when I've got it wrong, when I've lived for me not Jesus, and I'd be quick to say sorry, accept forgiveness, and therefore get ready to go again. 
I thought that was scary, as I'd most likely be more aware of how often I live by the flesh, want I want, instead of the Holy Spirit, what He wants (and knows is best for me) but I also thought that would be really helpful, to not get tied down to the sin but set free from it. Because in Jesus, I am free, accepted, forgiven, loved, cherished, delighted in, redeemed and more if I  have repented, said sorry, for when I do fall short which is often. 

The Fruit of the Spirit is a helpful check to see if I need to repent. Let's look at the first of the nine fruits... Have I been loving? Could I have been more loving? Did I with-hold love? Well, what is love? "Love is Patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs". (1 Corinthians 13v4-7) Mmm... so yeah that's really easily attained, isn't it?! No!! Ah this is why we need God's help. This is why we can't rely on trying harder, doing better (although actually it is good to aspire to be like Jesus, and therefore put the effort in). We need to intentionally ask for God's help, we need to ask for the Holy Spirit to help us and our kids, be more like Jesus. 

Although the activity I did with the kids was a great starting point, there's just so many layers in addition to it, and that's why we need to keep modelling it to our kids, teaching them, understanding it for ourselves, asking about the bits we don't know, showing them scripture, sharing with them when it links to something previous, encouraging them to listen to the Biblical truths in their kids' work at church, and so on. That could feel daunting or a great challenge, depending on the day, your mood, your character, your kids etc, but for me it helps me on one hand step up and be more intentional, and on the other hand to rely more on God, because I simply can't do it without Him, and neither can they. If we can aim to eat 5 fruits a day, for our health then surely we can aim for these 9 fruits for spiritual health too.