One Pink Toothbrush

Welcome to One Pink Toothbrush, where I will be posting moments from my days as a mum and as a wife. Funny moments, messy moments, thoughtful moments, teary moments.... and hopefully using each moment to see what God might be saying.



Tuesday 29 January 2019

Onesie Wonder

We are often the recipients of hand-me-downs, and with six kids, this is obviously a blessing. It's quite hard now to get any for the nearly 15 year old monster that lives here. We are all tiny minions compared to him, and the only family member who is taller than him, is Grandad who isn't exactly on trend (I'm sure he was at one stage). Even the husband will have a little look through the bag if the trendy 20 year old nephew is getting rid of anything!

For the girls though, we have some regular donations, which is fab. And what I've learnt about girls' clothes, is that even when you think its grown out of, you simply put it with another outfit, and it's back to being in use again; trousers which are too small, suddenly become cool three quarter lengths, with a pair of denim shorts over them. Also, my girls change their outfit numerous times a day. This was all new to me after the four boys!

One of my girls recently got given a black onesie with sparkly stars all over it. She went and put it on straight away, and loved it. My other girl seemed to take offence at this new item of clothing in the house. Well she didn't take offence at the item, but to the fact that she didn't have one. She wasn't interested in the thought of borrowing it, she just wanted one for herself. She expressed herself very clearly, on the kitchen floor, for all to hear. 

I took a breath, and went for the same talk that I've been having since there was more than one child in the house; 'in this house we don't do fair, we do selfless'. (It's not the first time I've blogged about it, and I doubt it will be the last!) If I had £1 for every time this phrase was used in this house, I'd have enough money to clothe everyone on my estate, I'm sure. I reminded her that we don't deserve any of the good things God has done for us, or given us. And that He selflessly gave His son to us. He handed Him down to us. 
He didn't treat us fairly, how our sins deserve, but instead has treated us with lavish love. 

She of course couldn't care less at this point. She was all consumed by the wailing. She wanted the sparkly onesie and that was that. I reminded her of the brand new onesie she got for Christmas from her Auntie, and the brand new, soft pink blanket (which zips into a bag) she got last week. I asked her if she would like to have to share it. She didn't particularly want to. I told her that she was allowed to feel a little disappointed, but that she mustn't live in that place, because then the darkness takes over, and you end up being consumed by your feelings, and both of you are robbed. 

I told my daughter, that we even needed to get to the place where she can say that she is happy for her sister. Quite the battle to pick for a Saturday morning, but some are worth picking. It took a while, and with the quietest of voices, with all her fingers in her mouth, she eventually said she was happy for her sister. (I don't mind too much at this point if it is heart felt, or a habit in the making). 

The husband is currently on the slopes, shoop-shooping down the mountains with a bunch of his friends. He's doing Blue and Black Runs and I'm doing the School and Asda runs. It so similar! (Although his week sounds exhausting). But the same principle has to stand, in our house we don't do fair, we do selfless. I am happy for him, like literally happy for him to be there. What a wonderful week he will have. What a blessing for him. 

I learnt from a friend of mine, that when he goes, he should go guilt-free, other wise it robs something from him. I can well imagine that I will need to remind myself of this this week, when I'm a bit done with the bedtime routine and extremely outnumbered at dinner times. But remembering God's selfless act towards me really does help with that little thing called perspective, as does the fact that his friends made him wear a retro onesie on the slopes!

Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Philippians 2v4 (This photo is definitely for the interest of others)


Friday 4 January 2019

A Positive and Negative Effect

My lunch yesterday, was a form of leftovers. I had made the girls a Frozen themed lunch. (Frozen the Disney film, as opposed to really cold stuff). This mainly consisted of snowflake-shaped sandwiches, and snowflake-shaped ham, with a sprinkling of marshmallows, and of course, leftover sparkly Christmas tree biscuits. 
A fairly low effort, maximising on results! (The best kind of mothering).

So I ate what was left; the bread and ham surrounding what was once snowflakes. The negative space which was left got me thinking...a somewhat perfect shape that was missing, caused something equally perfect left behind. The negative space was no less important, and no less tasty than the object or the 'positive space' as it were; the snowflake in this case. 

(Although I'm sure my girls would say that snowflake-shaped food tastes so much better).

I have given two encouragements in the past, about 'negative spaces'. Often the negative space is the bit not thought of, or the bit thrown away, the part you leave behind, or maybe the bit people aren't really interested in, sometimes the least important bit... but many artists use the negative space to in fact emphasise the actual object, to highlight the positive space, to point to the main event, or at least to shift the perspective of what the main event actually is.

I'm well aware that the negative moments in our life, although tasting a little bitter, do in fact, come together to compliment the whole picture. Those negative spaces, somehow grow us in character, and ultimately throw us more onto fully trusting God. I think it's important to stop and change our perspective, to not just look at whatever the main thing seems to be, or what we think it should be, or even what we'd like it to be, but to look at what is surrounding it, what is shaping it, what is holding it together. 


Maybe we feel part of the main thing, maybe we feel like the cut out bit that is left behind. Maybe we don't really want to acknowledge that the surrounding bit, is just as flavoursome as the fun bit. Maybe we'd be happy to throw some bits away that we think aren't necessary... And Maybe God wants us to appreciate that both parts are needed in order for us to grow from one degree of glory to another. 

God may just see the shaping of us in a very different way than we see it. 

Sometimes I look at motherhood as that perfect little shape in the middle; the bits where the kids behaved nicely in a restaurant, or gave an adult eye contact without any prompting, or they obeyed straight away, or possibly they were selfless towards a sibling, without even a mothering glare from me, or they threw their dirty laundry in the basket instead of on the floor? (Who am I kidding?! That one has never happened!). I forget that all the training, all the tantrums, their bad choices, my bad choices, all the surrounding bits, come together to form the actual shape in the middle. 


If I'm honest, as a mum, I feel like the kids are the main event, the main thing, the shape being cut out of me, and I'm the negative space left behind. But with a perspective change, I think that's okay, and possibly how it should be...(to a degree) - a giving of self.


Was there a lack in Heaven, when Jesus left to become a baby? When He came to us, to relate to us, to rescue us? Was there a negative space in that moment? Did it take away or indeed add to the main event? Was there a lack when Jesus died? Was a negative space created in that moment? Was that death cast away, thrown away as not important? Or was it in fact the whole point; bringing glory and pointing to the most positive element of the whole of life and love itself?



"We are healed by the punishment He suffered, made whole by the blows He received". Isaiah 54v5 GNT