A new season (Another new season)

Tonight was our last family dinner as we know it... 

We have two touch points during a week, when all eight of us (maybe nine or ten if a friend or girlfriend is around) are expected to eat together. Sunday lunchtimes, we're all together for Roast chicken, and Thursday evenings, (recently changed from Monday evenings to fit in with football scheduling) we are together for whatever the budget allows, or whatever the Lidl coupons were for that week.

The rest of the week, some of us are around to eat together. Sometimes in shifts, sometimes grabbed on the way out, and sometimes saved on a plate for midnight snackiness. It works for us; not expecting too much family time from the teens, but not allowing for none. Family is important to us, and so is eating it seems. We also throw in a game or two and even a bottle of fizzy. 

Tonight was family dinner night. Special family dinner night. We had Gammon cooked in Coke with a peanut butter glaze, chicken wings and chocolate fondu. We played the car rolling game, where you roll a car along the table to win the prize it lands near. It literally brings the worst out in all of us... if the car hits a prize, you're disqualified, if it rolls off the table, you're disqualified. Tonight you could win a Pot Noodle, 9p or a packet of Pickled Onion Space Raiders. So the stakes were high. We also played the strawberry laces game, where you have to chew it as quick as you can. (There was gagging at one point, which wasn't pretty to watch). 

Theo gave us all a handwritten note, personal to each one of us, and we went round the table to say what we enjoyed about living with Theo. Theo, the eldest boy, the newly engaged eldest boy, the newly engaged eldest boy who is moving out of home on Saturday, to live with buddies before he gets married! Gulp. The answers ranged from, "you eat the vegetables off my plate, so I don't have to", to "the chats we have, and you asking about my day". The littlest, who is finding his leaving a bit ouchy to say the least, was very cuddly and said, "it's all the little games we play together". 

I realised the different relationships they all have with each other. There are nuances, inside jokes, pet peaves, memes they laugh at, words that set them off, songs which connect them, Playstation games or TV shows which will be a memory for them. (Two of them shouted 'Tron' last week, when the circular cardboard pizza bases were on the side). Knowing my kids have that with each other, is fun to think about. Some things, I probably don't even know about. Sibling secrets. It's lovely, and I wish I knew them all. Although I probably don't actually. 

Tonight I sat back and watched them during the craziness, and the bickering. During the disqualifications and laughter. During the fight to be heard and the quiet watching. Some of them naturally click better with each other, and some I'm not sure would hang out, if they weren't siblings. I wonder what they will each take from our home, into their own homes. 

To be fair, that eldest boy of ours is seeing what he can literally take with him, asking for his bed, the shelves, the storage unit... The eldest will have his own room at long last, just not in our house. The sibling discussions of who should sleep where have begun. A new season is upon us...another new season, as it always seems to be with a quiver full.

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them". Psalm 127v3-5

As It Was

Another Summer rolls around, and they're back at school. Well, three of them are back at school; one is still in bed, one is packing for a lad's trip to Spain, and one is changing the landscape of a garden. 

I think it was our first Summer without a family holiday, all eight of us. There is something a bit sad about it not being 'as it was', but also something new and exciting. I definitely missed the chaos that comes with us lot on holiday. Finding somewhere big enough to start with, then there's the planning, the booking, the journeying, the seat allocation, the room allocation, the food allocation, the packing, the lists. How many shoes can we actually take? Can we fit in body boards? Do we need a tent? Do they take dogs? What breakable things need hiding as soon as we arrive? 

But twice this year, myself and the husband have holidayed with just the girls. Just the little ones. Just those two. A third of the kids, in one car and even on a plane! It's so much cheaper, and simpler. You can say yes to more ice creams or bottles of pop. They sit and colour. You put them to bed, and you still have an evening. You can eat out because they don't require all the carbs that the restaurant has to offer. It's no less adventurous, no less fun, (maybe a little less 'accidental' sibling attacks) definitely no quieter, possibly the same amount of clothes taken and amounts of time being thrown in a pool, but it is different. 

The husband took three boys away, for a spontaneous few days in France. Three massive lads in one fairly small car, with one clothes bag between them and a massive bag of pasta. They came back physically exhausted from driving all night, and from inflatable injuries, having had individual quality time and chats with dad. The same brotherly banter, highs and lows that are present at home, always go on holiday with you. But it was different.

The eldest went off on his own, (well with a buddy), to inter-rail across Europe, to jump off of a dam and white water raft! He still shopped at Lidl (proud mum moment) but he was away for summer, and that was different.

The seasons are a changing. For us, the holiday 
change seems to be one transition of many. Whereas we are also fifteen years into the same Primary school run, the same route, the same late mornings.   

Some of family life will always feel the same, because of who we are, and what we have developed over the years. But change is inevitable. Some aspects of parenting just stay the same. Monotonously the same...day after day, week after week. Some aspects seem to change hourly, daily, according to each child, each mood, the weather, a full moon... There can be a familiarity, a comfort, in the sameness. Or it can feel like a draining chore. Equally change can feel good, exciting and new, or scary and unsure. Or all and both at the same time.

I am grateful that my Heavenly Father sees it all. He sees the bits that stay exactly the same. He sees the new bits and the worries they might bring. He sees the sadness of change that we might feel, mixed with a reflection that this is what we've been building towards. He knows what we're feeling, even when we are unsure what our parenting thoughts and feeling are today. He's got us parents, and thankfully He's got our kids too. "He remains the same yesterday, today and forever more". (Hebrews 13v8). 

This is a great comfort to me, that He never changes, no matter which season we find ourselves in, or which season our kids find themselves in, or which mood they are in right now, even. He was the same when we first holidayed with one small baby, then with two, three, four, five, six (and even seven). Back to five, or just the three and only two. God's sameness however, is never to be confused with Him being bored by us, or Him finding the fathering of us, a chore. He is the Father of love, adoption, compassion, mercy and blessing, and is always watching us grow.

What's Your Story?

Last week, I wore a fetching pair of goggles to introduce some Baptisms in church. All the kids and Youth were in, some in the 'Splash Zone'. I was asking my friend if someone could become a Christian by going under water, or if God loved a person more, if they went under water. (I was actually bluffing and knew the answers to the questions. Shocking, I know). I also asked if everyone's story was the same, if everyone became a Christian in the same way.

I love baptisms. They're such life giving moments to be part of. Hearing someone describe the how and the when of getting caught up in God's story for their life. Of course people's stories aren't the same. People's lives arent the same. They may have something in common or be miles apart from the previous story, or testimony. They usually make me feel emotional. You can disagree with, or argue against lots of ideas and Biblical perspectives, but to hear someone tell their story of when they met Jesus and the joy that has brought them is not something easily dismissed. It's their story!

I know of people recently, who have quickly got baptised in the freezing sea, and a baptism service where the building's water was off, so everyone from church had to bring a container of water! Such fun.

Not long ago, my (nearly)14yr old son got baptised. It was a wonderful day, with the whole family in church, including the ones who are maybe working out their faith, others who had travelled to Brighton for it, some watching on-line and there may have been a confetti canon or two. It was afterall an amazing celebration, a celebration of new life. And we aim to celebrate well in our family. We invited people back for lunch, and made a whole afternoon of it. I made Baptism puddings of course!

I have enjoyed the sheer range of people's stories recently. Some people who have had no religious or Christian input, finding Jesus. Some people who have had religious input, finding Jesus and some people who have had Christian input and finding Jesus. There have been three young people recently who have got baptised, from Christian homes who talked to their parents, kids workers and youth workers about their faith, and it has simply grown. 

When my son said he was getting baptised, my daughter was surprised as he 'hasn't had time away from God yet'. This prompted a quick theological lesson and huge encouragement that you do not need to have a time away from God before you are baptised. This refelcts my own story. I was blessed to grow up in a Christian home, found Jesus for myself, got baptised and stayed on that path to the current day. Some people grow up in a Christian home, and during the journey of finding God for themselves, they painfully wander away, hopefully to return at a later date, although sadly not always. 

When the kids were smaller, it seemed easier to drip feed Jesus talk into their daily routines; Bible stories, popcorn prayers, catchy songs, the Jesus Story Book Bible, Bible themed dinners, pausing films or TV shows to discuss if it lines up with the gospel... 

As they get older, there seems to be a need to be a bit more focussed with how to intentionally drip Jesus into their lives. The youngsters who got baptised recently, had done an Alpha course on line with a parent, or worked through The New City Catechism with a parent; a great App where kids (and adults) can learn the images which link to a Biblican truth. With our teens, they have gone through Rebecca McLaughlin's 10 Questions every teen should ask (and answer) about Christianity, and Bruce Ware's Big Truths for Young Hearts. These books have been better understood alongside a Sausage and Egg McMuffin with their dad, before school. Another classic in our house would be The Bible Project, especially for the kids who don't particularly like words.

The great thing about going through these things with our kids, is the chance to see where they are at, teach truth and grow their faith. But it also does us good as we remember and repeat these truths for our own faith and walk with God. It enhances our own story of knowing Him and His Story. 

"And now what are you waiting for? Get up, be baptized and wash your sins away, calling on his name." Acts 22v16