Out of the mouths of babes

A wise old elder (not sure he'll enjoy being referred to as that) told me yesterday to look for what God may be saying to me, through what my children are saying and doing sometimes. So taken to the extreme, this of course could be quite amusing. I don't think God is telling me to believe in dragons. Neither is He pointing out to me that there is some great spiritual message in the building of a Lego spaceship. I don't think that God is saying He wants me to talk like Yoda. I also don't think He is telling me to use my 'spiritual scooter' today, or eat yoghurt with my hands or throw expensive things in the bin.

But what He may well be saying to me is to follow the example of my three year old, which is humbling. Today I heard him downstairs, building with Duplo while singing "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, let the sea(!) hear His voice...Come to the Father, through Jesus the Son" over and over again. He then came upstairs to me, where I told him that I had loved hearing his singing to Jesus. He asked me if he could help me to put the washing away, which he proceeded to do. Later when his dad was explaining to him, that God loves that he was serving his mummy. He replied "God loves me so much. He loves me when I'm good, He loves me when I'm naughty, He loves me all the time. I want to give Him all my money".

Wow, humbling indeed. So in short, through watching my son today and learning from his example, I am to;

Build whilst worshipping.
Worship before serving.
Know what God's love and grace looks like.
And give all I've got to Him.

Amen to that!

  "At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying,

 "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said,

 "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,

 you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

                                                                                         Matthew 18v1-4

Obey Straight Away

This morning I read from my son's Good News Bible because my own bible is sitting on the back seat of my friend's car. Someone had offered to have the baby for a couple of hours so that I could go and get some 'head space', drink tea, and read. (A complete blessing, which felt like I had enjoyed a week's restful beach holiday, rather than just a couple of child free hours, sitting down, drinking tea!) So with my son's Good News Bible open, I found his scrawled writing on a blank page which said "I love God and the bible". Such a wonderful statement to read.

I found myself reading Proverbs 3v5 and was struck by the simplicity of the words.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know."
Never rely on what I think I know....Mmm this stuck with me, perhaps because I totally rely on what I think I know. I rely on my own thoughts about myself and about God and about others. I rely on my feelings and what I think I know about God's character, and how He views me. I rely on what I think I know about people in my life too.

I found myself feeling quite challenged by this little verse which I had read so many times before in my own bible. And I started to see that when I do rely on what I think I know, it usually ends up pretty fruitless.
When I rely on what I think I know about God, I can come up with all sorts of wrong thinking about trying to earn His love and acceptance. Rather than dwelling in the truth of His lavish gift of love, and accepting what His son's death meant for me.
When I rely on what I think I know about myself, I can quickly end up swimming in my own pride, thinking how great I am. Or likewise I can start drowning with thoughts of how bad I am, and can't possibly be loved.
When I rely on what I think I know about others, I can end up making judgements about them or comparing myself to them.
Relying on what I think I know is fruitless. It does not bring any life. It brings worry, doubt, fear, judgement, and insecurity. It is disobedient to not trust in the Lord. It is sinful to rely on what I think I know!

Verse 2 says, "My teaching will give you a long and prosperous life." Well, that quite simply sounds fruitful and brings life. And a prosperous, long life at that! We say to our kids all the time "When do we obey?" and with joyful hearts they are meant to reply "Straight away!" Yet I have read this verse before and I have not obeyed straight away, nor have I obeyed with a joyful heart. Relying on what I think I know, brings death. Obedience and trust of God's word, however simple the verse, brings a long and prosperous life.

Lord, please help me to obey you straight away.

One Blue Toothbrush

Although many aspects of raising boys and girls are the same, I do not feel able to comment on the aspect of raising pink ones. I was shocked enough to discover that my friend takes over half an hour sorting her girls' hair in the morning. Whereas, unless my boys have got nits, I barely even touch their hair! So I asked a few men who have daughters to comment on their world. A view from 'One Blue toothbrush' as it were. So ladies and gentlemen, I give you Matt Hosier.

I live in a house of women. One wife. Four daughters. Even our dog (which we got before we had kids) was female. Sadly she went to doggy heaven last year, but I now have two boy dogs, so the Y chromosome is fighting back. We used to do three kinds of clothes wash: lights, darks, and pinks. But now the girls are older pink is no longer the colour of choice – God is gracious. We don’t have one blue toothbrush and five pink – we have a rainbow collection of oral healthcare products.

It is funny how often people give me a pitying look when I tell them I have four daughters. The comments are now predictable: “Just wait till the hormones kick in; I hope you’re saving for all those weddings.” But here’s the thing – I was never disappointed when another daughter was born rather than a son, and I’m not worried about what the future might bring. So when those predictable comments come, I either just smile and move on, or say, “Yes, I’m a very blessed man.”

Simply at the practical level I feel the odds are stacked in my favour. Look at it this way – who’s going to look after you when you get old? All things being equal, it’s the daughter of the house who takes on the care of her aged parents at the point that becomes necessary. I’ve got four options there. I’m going to be well looked after!

But more than any scheming about nursing cover in my old age, having daughters is simply a wonderful gift. Grace and I get to raise four young women and defy all the doom mongers who think that a scary prospect. We get to teach our daughters what it means to be godly women – women who are strong and sassy, but also charming and winsome. Our ambition is to produce women who weak or corrupt or sleazy men find too hot to handle. But women who know how to respect and follow men who are worthy of them. We do this with Jesus as our model. Read the gospels and it is pretty clear that Jesus was never intimidated by a woman, or intimidating towards them. We want our girls to follow him, and to be able to recognise other men who reflect him.

I love my girls. They are quite simply amazing. They are amazingly different, but also very recognizably members of the family. And this is one of the great challenges and opportunities of parenting – recognizing and cultivating the God-given gifts and personalities of each, while also recognizing the great extent to which all of them inevitably mirror what they see in their parents. In both cases, Grace and I want them to see Jesus – in their own distinct personalities to display the glory of God, and in their family resemblance to find something worthy of Christ.

Girls rock! And I’m the luckiest dog alive.

matthewhosier.blogspot.com

For a look at life from another 'dad of daughters' perspective Another Blue Toothbrush

From Boys to Men

I was recently at a wedding and at the entrance to the bride, I saw a little girl in awe of the pretty dresses, and a little boy looking around trying to work out how and where the sound was coming from. It reminded me again of those wonderful differences God has created. My boys play games that I never played as a little girl. I don't remember trying to imitate being Indiana Jones or Luke Skywalker like my brother did. I remember writing to The Queen and pressing flowers!  I remember having two dolls, one called Hannah and one called Soo Soo. And Hannah and Soo Soo never blew stuff up or killed alien dinosaurs. Their cots were not space ships and their bottles weren't laser guns.

Playing, for my boys isn't just rough adventure play for the sake of it. My nephews building a tree house and making weapons isn't just to keep them busy. It is helping them to be the men they're going to grow into one day. They need to have a go and take risks. They need to 'live to fight another day' and go on rescue missions. They need to know how to do things. They need to conquer and fight for what they believe in. They need to battle on like a Jedi would, or conquer like David did. And according to John Eldredge's "The Way of the Wild Heart", they need someone telling them that they can achieve it. They need to be told that they can do it. They need to know they are loved and secure in order to take risks. But they need to be spurred on and challenged by the right source in their life. I know fully that my role as mum is important, valued, and needed in their lives but I also know that they need to be taught most of this stuff by a man in their life. A man who has got vision and purpose for their life.

For me, I know that I am blessed to have a husband who is very serious about teaching our boys well; challenging them, teaching them, and encouraging them in line with God's word. I can't even imagine how hard it is for single mums to parent alone. Some of my friends are single mums, and they didn't all choose to raise their kids alone. They didn't ask to be both mum and dad to their children, but they find themselves in this situation. A friend of mine who is single handedly raising her kids, said to me that she never quite realised how much her son needs a good godly man in his life, in order for him to become a good godly man. She knows there is stuff her son goes through that she, as a woman and as his mum, has no idea how to handle properly. She can't teach him or understand him in some ways. So she makes an effort to ask the men she knows and respects to spend time with him, to be an example for him to copy, to encourage him and listen to him. I admire her for doing this.

Boys need men to love them, teach them, show them, help them, guide them, be 'for them', encourage them and be a humble example to them. Girls of course need this too. (And they will feature tomorrow.) The greatest man our children will ever know is Jesus. I want my boys to follow His loving, sacrificial, powerful, strong example.

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,
    the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
   are the children of one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
   who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
   when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."

                                                 Psalm 127v3-5

Frogs and Snails, and Puppy Dog Tails

As a mum to four boys, I am having to get used to the fact that girls and boys are very different indeed. Today I took my son for a wee, and there was bright blue cleaning product around the bowl. My son took it as his mission to wee in just the right way that would totally clear all of the cleaning product away in a circular motion. This is something I have never done. This is a 'boy thing'. I'm coming to appreciate that bottom burps can sometimes actually be quite funny! I'm getting used to nakedness being hilarious and any vague willy or bottom revealing also being a source of great amusement. I'm seeing the skill it takes to hold a spider by one leg and catch a slow worm and keep it in a bucket on the kitchen side for a day or two.

I'm also coming to experience how physical the little blue ones are. I am often so tired at the end of the day, and I realise it is because I have been climbed over and jumped on. Everything they do involves a climb, a run, a roll or a flying kick rather than just a walk. Everything is there to be conquered whether its a tree, a large rock or a river. When I feel tired I take them to a park, so they can use actual climbing equipment to climb on. I now count bruises and scrapes on little knees and say "that's a good one" after showing the initial mummy tenderness after a fall. I watch them being pirates, aliens, space rangers, Jedi knights and superheroes on a daily basis. I hear them being the least secret, secret agents. I watch them act out Daniel in the lion's den, and fight to be chosen as Joshua as they conquer Jericho. They want the role of David as they sling a stone into Goliath's head and cut it off! I don't fully understand why wrestling is fun and why pain is something they 'man up' to and get on with. But I accept and love that boys are different!

I might not always understand what they're doing or why they're doing it. But I do appreciate our differences. I love how God made us different. I love that I get to appreciate why God made them how they are, and why God made me to be me. He made us to complement one another within different roles. He made us different to bring Him glory, and to reveal the different characteristics that He has. His tenderness and mercy. His power and strength. His compassion and gentleness. His boldness and steadfastness. I know it's not 'male' characteristics and 'female' characteristics and we don't all fit into a stereotypical mold of what a boy is like and what a girl is like. But it is good to appreciate the diverse creativity that God has made. I know that I don't need to change to be like them, and I know that I don't need to try and make the boys more like me. I can accept and praise God for our differences.

"So God created man in his own image,
      in the image of God he created him;
  male and female he created them."

                               Genesis 1v27

Happily Ever After

So I did head up to London for the Royal Wedding celebrations. I went to Trafalgar Square, wearing Wendy Virgo's hat. I took my flags and my Pimms. I sang Jerusalem and God save the Queen with a few thousand people and waved my flag whenever I saw a member of the Royal Family on the big screen! I spent time with friends. I made whooping noises when I saw Prince William, and of course when I saw Kate's fabulous dress. I got lost somewhere in front of Buckingham Palace, behind the statue! Got stuck in a few crowds. Smiled and laughed and sang with strangers enjoying the day, and got covered in confetti. I said a few "ahhs" when the happy couple took their vows and when they gave each other loving glances, convincing us all that they may actually live "Happily ever after".

And after hearing the words of Romans 12 being spoken to millions around the world, I found myself praying for them as the service continued. If William and Kate choose to live their lives as the verses encouraged them to do, then they will live according to the will of God, and there is no better way to live.

"I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."

If they seek to let love be genuine, abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good, love one another with brotherly affection, outdo one another in showing honor  and  not be slothful in zeal,  if they seek to be fervent in spirit, and serve the Lord, if they seek to rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer, then they will be living how God intends them to live.

God puts rulers and authorities in place and I want to be committed to praying for this couple in the position they are in. I want to pray that they will live how the Bishop of London stirred them to live, as he quoted St Catherine of Siena; “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” I pray that God would reveal Himself to them, and draw them to His son Jesus, and I pray that they would seek to worship Him and live according to His will for their lives, their marriage and the influence they hold.

Forgiven

Last night I was being a bit tired and grumpy with the husband. Even though I often say to the boys that they're not to let their tiredness or feelings effect how they are with people, that's often easier said than done. In my grumpiness I was expecting the husband to know exactly what I needed from him, without telling him what it was that I needed. And I've been married long enough to know that the husband cannot actually read mind! Anyway I said sorry to him, but still got into bed quite sad and grumpy.

The husband forgave me quickly as he does, and I said I was sorry again! He said if I had repented to God about it, then God had also forgiven me. Then the husband's question came; Had I had forgiven myself? Mmm... no I hadn't. The reason I was still grumpy was because I felt cross with myself. I thought I'd accepted God's forgiveness and the husband's forgiveness, but I didn't feel forgiven, and was still punishing myself.

The husband promptly challenged me that my forgiveness was no greater than God's powerful, undeserved forgiveness. I had no right to punish myself, and I shouldn't hold myself guilty, because Jesus had already been punished on my behalf and I had been declared forgiven by my heavenly father. What wonderful truth! And to wake up on Easter Sunday, and know that we celebrate today that Jesus rose from the dead, He conquered death and sin. He held all my sins and shame on His shoulders as He died, and today I can celebrate His mercy and grace.

"He does not treat us as our sins deserve
   or repay us according to our iniquities.
 For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
 as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us."

                                      Psalm 103v10-12