The Great Escape

I'm sitting on a train, alone. Well technically I'm not alone, I'm  with all the commuters to London. But I'm alone in the sense that it's just me that I know. I'm not talking to anyone. I'm not responsible for any of these people. None of these people need me. None of them are hoping I've got Fruit Shoots  and Cheddars on me. None of them are asking if we are there yet. None of them are climbing on me. None of them are dancing in the aisle and need me to ask them to move. They are all just quietly reading their papers or playing/emailing on their phones. 

I'm struck by the size of my bag. It's small and pink. It has a phone, my keys, a wallet and a book in it. That's it. No nappies, no wipes, no antibacterial hand gel, no Lego, no McDonalds toys playing Beyonce, no bits of broken biscuit at the bottom. No one would even know I'm a mum as I sit on this train. 


I'm off for a couple of days away with my sister in law. Between us we have seven boys, but for today and tomorrow, it's just us. Just us, no responsibilities, no one needing us, no bulk meals to prepare, no packed lunches to make, no buggy to push, no shoes to tie, no little teeth to brush, no uniform to put out, no one to serve. No responsibilities just adult conversation, chocolate, wine, pistachio nuts, books and the Pride and Prejudice series on dvd which I've never seen.


I am fully aware that I could treat these two days in one of two ways. I have recently read an article about escapism, so I know I could look at these two days as a way of escape. Avoiding my real life and opting for two days of all the things I don't get to do with a great sense of abandonment and escape; all that I deserve! 
Or I could look at these two days as a way of refreshment and rest in order to plug straight back into my real life. I could still get to do all the things I don't get to do, but view it as a blessing, rather than something I deserve. 


I know that one of the enticements of escapism would be to escape from God too. To have just 'me time' but what a wasted opportunity if I do this. Even though the husband and my boys don't need me these two days, I still have a responsibility to them. I have a responsibility to make sure I go home rested, refreshed, and with renewed energy for them, but also to go home with my relationship with God strengthened so that I can be all I have been called to be by Him.


I do not want to go home just rested to the avoidance of going home renewed. I do not want to go home after two days of just 'me time' to the avoidance of 'intimate me and God time'. I do not want to go home just knowing I have conversed and laughed with my sister in law to the avoidance of pouring out my heart to my heavenly father and saviour. I do not want to go back home knowing Mr Darcy a little better to the avoidance of knowing Jesus Christ better.


So I will laugh and chat and watch Mr Darcy's smouldering looks, I will drink a little wine and eat a little chocolate, but I will also plan to walk and talk with He who brings great rest and renewal and comfort and strength and joy. I need it for myself and I need it for those God has asked me to serve.


"but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40v31