I don't think he has made his final decisions yet, so he is finding new ways to test his the above. I don't understand why he doesn't just look at his three older brothers, who have tried and tested these same theories before him and learn from their findings. But no, he has decided to find out for himself if he is the boss or if I am. I think he is beginning to understand that my 'No' holds more weight than his 'no', but he's not entirely convinced, so he still says it to see what happens. He has a lesser version of 'no' which is 'not yet' which is a softer and cuter way of saying it, but it's still disobedience. He has also started down the age old path of 'laying on the floor' to see if that achieves what he was setting out to do. He is working out whether he really does have to say 'sorry' when he is in the wrong or if he can just try the silent approach with me, and he is using his eyebrows a lot more to convey how he's feeling!
My boy doesn't yet understand that his mum and his dad are the God given authority placed in his life. He doesn't want to be told what to do, what not to do and he thinks that he knows what is best for his life. He doesn't want to obey our decisions, but he would like to see if he's got what it takes to go it alone. He wants to be in control and make his own choices. He doesn't yet realise that it is because of my love for him, that I tell him what to do and what not to do. He hasn't realised that it is out of a heart of love that I know what is actually best for him, and out of love that I protect, train and teach him. He doesn't understand that it is because I love him that I want him to obey me and because I love him that I discipline him. His heart is wrapped up in foolishness as the book of Proverbs points out.
As I thought about my boy wanting to be in charge, I was reminded of two things that Joel Virgo said in a recent preach at our church. He said that a lot of people say they don't believe in God because they need more evidence, but actually it is because they don't want Him to have a claim on their life. People don't want someone or something telling them what is best for their life. They may not be rejecting Jesus from a reasonable argument but from a heart that objects to God's will for them.
It seems similar to my son's lack of urgency to have me speak into his life and know what is best for him. My friends who so far have rejected God don't realise that it is out of a heart of love that He wants to be the authority in their life. It is because of His love that He wants to protect them and why He wants them to follow His perfect ways. My Heavenly Father is a loving tender God who wants the best for me, and wants the best for my friends who have rejected Him. He wants to bless us as we follow Him, because he loves us. He sent His son to die for us because He loves us. It is even out of a heart of love that He gives us free will, so we can choose whether to let Him lead us or not.
At the tender, malleable age of two, my boy needs to do what we determine is best for his life. As he grows older, he will have to acknowledge that we were placed in authority over his life, whilst submitting ourselves to God's best for him and for us. My boy will have to choose to let us continue to speak into his life or not, and he will also have to choose whether to let God be the ultimate authority in his life or whether he indeed knows best.
"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."
Proverbs 22v15but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."
"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."
Proverbs 28v26
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