I shed a few manic tears and laughed a few manic laughs, 'phoned a friend' rather than 'asked the audience' (the four boys) for advice and support. I ate chocolate to boost my energy levels and I shed a few tears. Oh, I said that one already. I have been like the mother from some kind of weird movie; my character is the lovable baddie who looks a little zombiefied. She shouts a little bit and says sorry, cries a little bit and then laughs a little bit. Occasionally she remembers to feed the other characters in the film, while cheering on a random Brit in the Olympics, only to cry a little more when the unknown person wins a medal in Judo or weightlifting. Probably not the best script for a film, but some may relate to the withered character taking centre stage...And somewhere in the middle of it all, I built a den, put on a DVD, made a strong cuppa and opened the Bible. I read Ephesians 3v14-21 and dwelled on verse sixteen.
"...that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being..."
Because God is rich in Glory, I can ask Him to grant me to be strengthened with power in my inner being. Wow! I definitely needed my inner being to be strengthened. And this verse seemed to suggest that I actually can be. Of course it made me cry again, but this time out of relief and understanding and renewed hope in a God who loves me and wants to strengthen me. I sang a tearful version of 'On Christ the solid rock I stand' with verse three in particular.
"His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the 'whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay."
And I was reassured once more that God is my hope, no matter how tired I am, or how manic it all gets. His faithfulness remains the same forever, and He loves me in the midst of it all. The tiredness didn't suddenly get replaced with the 'Red Bull Effect', but my inner being was indeed strengthened.
Just been catching up on your blog after a manic summer! I totally relate.... I am utterly exhausted from this pregnancy and I only have 1 boy to look after (well, 3, if you count the husband and the boy-in-progress too!)Also, my hubby has started his own business and we are having to make heart-wrenching and difficult financial decisions for both the family and the future of the business! We have been fighting fires on every front and quite frankly I have been, spiritually, worn out!! Teamed with hormones it has been a rather painful 8 months!
ReplyDeleteRecently, though, I have really felt the Lord draw near to me in the quiet few moments that I steal away. My husband felt that we were to name our expected son Micah so I opened up to Micah chapter 7 and verse 7 said this: But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord,
I wait for God my Savior;
my God will hear me.
How perfect was that?! That same morning we were visiting a church and I got to leave my son in creche and listen to a whole sermon, and it was totally along the lines of the battle being the Lord's. Just what I needed to hear! We then sang "My God is able!" and the tears just flowed.... healing tears of relief, knowing that he has not given me more than I can handle and he is fighting for me! He is SO gracious and kind! As always, thank you for sharing. xxx