My sad little baby stood at the washing machine pleading with me in her non verbal, but very vocal way. She needed the comfort of that duvet. She knew I knew that, and yet I wouldn't give it to her. My explanation that it smelt and was dirty was not easily understood by the little being whose understanding currently sits with one syllable words, signs and animal noises.
She tapped me on the leg, cried and signed 'please' but it was still a no. That's where it got a little more intense. With the lack of comfort she could get from her duvet and panda, she signed 'milk' to me. Now there's certain rules in life; you can't go out to play if you've been off school, and you can't have milk if you've been sick. So again I said no to her desperate request. This resulted in her volume button being pushed up, and dramatic rolling on the floor. I tried to explain why she couldn't have all her comforts. But she was beyond reason at this point.
The husband picked her up and tried to cuddle her, but she fought him off and even threw her dummy on the floor. If she couldn't have the comfort she wanted, she didn't accept any comfort. This carried on for some time, until a big brother stepped in. He suggested a cuddle and a few episodes of Peppa Pig. She got up from her carpet moment, grabbed her dummy and put her arms up to her big bro. Peace resumed in the house, and the duvet was able to be transferred into the dryer without anyone seeing.
I was very aware of God's prompting throughout this. And I got to wondering what my duvet, panda and milk are; my 'go to comforts' so to speak. Food, friends and Facebook are mine! All good things in their own place. But can easily be things that I go to when I'm sad or when I have sick in my hair.
I know I have a Heavenly Father who wants to be my comfort and bring peace to me, pick me up and cuddle me. But I sometimes go to those other things first.
And they may help for a bit, but they can't love me, help me and guide me. They just fill a gap for a while. And of course, sometimes The One who wants to be my comfort is also The One who has said no to me in the first place, and it's hard to know what to do with that. That's where trust has to kick in. And 'bigger picture' perspective. But it's hard to see the bigger picture when your duvet is covered in sick!
Because my little Peppa Pig fan can't yet verbalise how she's feeling, it comes out in an emotional outburst. Whereas we're trying to teach the others to say, "I feel disappointed about...", "I felt cross when you...".
The thing is God accepts both; when we come to Him in a measured way and tell Him how we're feeling and when we have a tantrum on the floor and demand He gives us what we want. He knows what we need. He has endless episodes of Peppa Pig for us, (stick with the metaphor, rather than how annoying that would actually be) a cleansing bath, and a warm clean duvet in the form of His love. We just need to give in and put our arms up, so we can get to His lap.