The little dimpled pink one, takes herself to the potty, does a wee, Facetimes someone to tell them her achievement and the best bit, she doesn't even ask for her sweetie; her positive reinforcement, her bribe. At least one of the others worked out how to do his wee in stages so that he would get multiple mini marshmallows... but not this one. She does her business, and we all do the 'wee wee dance', and then she's happy. She hasn't nailed number twos yet, so they are found in the swimming costume or the knick-knicks. We've yet to have a trouser leg incident, or as one of mine did, the 'Bob the Builder incident', where we found them substituting one thing for another, and using their trucks to scoop up the 'mud'...
Anyway, I digress. It's so important to praise the little things, just as it is to recognise the huge things that they do. Sometimes I find myself saying, "well done", and clapping, when they eat one spoonful of dinner without whining. Sometimes in a slightly more sarcastic tone, it's a well done for finding a shoe, sometimes it's something they're explaining to me, and I have no real understanding of what it is that they're saying, but they're really pleased with themselves, so I go along with the excitement.
Sometimes I hear the husband 'fake wowing' to a child's piece of junk modelling, usually followed by, "how long have we got to keep this?" (The husband does however refuse to 'let them win' at races with him, or bundles, because when they actually do nail him for the first time, he wants them to really know it was a win. And enjoy it. Many years of annoyance and tears for this one point he wants to make).
I especially encourage anything I see which feels gospel-based, or Jesus-like. When one of them is selfless to their sibling, without coercion, prodding, teaching or nudging, it's just the best. When one of them is kind, or empathises with a hurt sibling, oh it's such a beautiful thing. When they stand up for someone at school, or stand up for a belief that we have as a family, when they tell the truth, oh it's so precious. These little gems feel quite rare; there is a lot of digging and sieving to pan for the gold, but when you find it, it's priceless. The gold makes all the digging worthwhile. The constant training of kids in the way they should go, is worth it. Sometimes the husband or a friend has to point these gems out to me, when I feel like I'm just digging with little or no reward. And these moments encourage me, they make me feel like I'm doing an okay job raising my kids.
Jesus spent His time on Earth spotting the gems in sinners' lives. When the religious leaders who pretended to be perfect, saw fault, especially in the women of the day, Jesus saw their hearts instead. I'm encouraged by this, because I know Jesus sees my heart and finds the gems in my own life, when I'm not sure how I'm doing. He sees a gem and shines it, and says "well done". Sometimes as mums, we just get so tired, that our head stays in the sand and we forget that God is panning for gold in us. He uses all kinds of things, including our kids to bring these nuggets of gold to the surface. He is our Heavenly Father who loves us and is proud of us.
"The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16v7
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