Just Do It

So my first post of the year; New Year, New You, saw me claiming the word "Intentional" as my own, for the whole year! And it's been rather interesting so far. For starters, you can pretty much do anything and just add the word intentional to it, and it makes you feel better haha. Love an easy win.

I've had quite a few people message me encouragement from my Instagram stories, saying they've appreciated how I see the word intentional. I think I used to see it as 'do more', or at least, 'just do it' (Whatever it actually is) 'be better', 'try harder', and ultimately 'try to be someone I'm not', which can be really demoralising, tiring, and not honouring to God. He made me to be be, not someone else. 

However, He does want me to be the best me I can be (in His strength, not my own).

I had a bit of a blow out with one of my boys. It was one who I don't have many blow outs with; our personalities don't clash, and his temperament  is pretty chilled. He over reacted, and then I over reacted, then he was very frustrated and I equally so, resulting in tears and huffs from us both. He went off to read, and I went off to the kitchen.
The kitchen; my weird haven. It was close to his bedtime so I knew I could just get him into bed, and then have some time to blog, and intentionally encourage a mum or two and just breathe a bit.

I wondered what 'being intentional with my parenting' meant in that moment, and I found myself seizing the moment. I sat next to him on the floor, said what I was sorry for, asked what he was sorry for. We hugged, we prayed, we forgave, and I asked him if there was a film we could watch together. He reminded me that it was his bedtime, which is his way of asking, 'are we watching the whole thing, or are you going to make me stop half way'? (Something he doesn't like too much). And I said the most important thing for me right now was to 'lean in and love him'. So we watched a half decent movie about Earthquakes. I didn't blog, or encourage a mum. But I intentionally loved my son, and it was just so worth it.

There was another moment this week, where the kitchen was an absolute state. It had got on top of me, as it does. I had made a meal for a new born mum and her family, and then was stressing at having to make my own kids a meal, and clear the table so we could all eat together as a family... I knew it would be through gritted teeth. So instead I set up a little camp for the girls, which means 'drape the curtain over the sofa, and give them pillows', and I didn't ask the boys to come away from 'Ultimate Ninja' or whatever they were watching, and I just made a heap load of sausages which they ate in front of their screens. I don't know whether this was intentional parenting, or intentional breathing space. But I know it served us all better than if I had stressed to do the other stuff.

I think the word 'intentional' for me, has relieved some of the Mummy Guilt. Ah man, that 'I'm not good enough' feeling mums seem to get the moment a child is handed to them. What is that? And where does it come from? Eating sausages in front of screens could easily be seen as a fail, a 'not good enough', a 'can't be bothered', with just a load of mum guilt thrown in, especially when family meal times are really important to us. But for some reason, making an intentional decision to do this for me, for my sanity, for my capacity, lessened all of that. And of course, the kids think it was the best so it was a win win.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. 

You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3v23-25