The High Low of Parenting

Parenting is a real mix of highs and lows, throughout any given day, or even hour. 
You can plan for highs, and they can still become lows, and you can be in the middle of a low, and it can turn out to be a high. Many a time a discipline moment, has resulted in us all laughing. Even this morning, I was about to launch into the same old Playstation chat after an argument had broken out, but someone had left the stairgate open, so the puppy jumped on the bed rather excitedly and peace was resumed because of that. And nice moments, which have taken preparation and even a budget, can turn out not so well in the end. 
(Oh those ones are hard to get past sometimes). 
And quite annoyingly, a lot of it can be down to how mum reacts in any given situation... 

Why's it mostly based on my reactions? Thats a bit unfair, and we don't even do fair! What if I'm not in the mood to turn it around, or put the effort in?! What if I'm tired, or grouchy, or I'm 4months into a weird Lockdown season, due to a horrible virus, which has caused disappointments, and now it's the Summer Holidays?! (Hypothetically speaking of course).

So yesterday was one of those days for me. The day, or I, or both, just felt a bit bleurgh. I wanted the kids to get along nicely, not need me, find their own ideas to combat boredom, cope on their own, feed themselves, have no disagreements, (or if they did disagree, to work it out beautifully together with love and selflessness, maybe even with a prayer together. Is that too much to ask?!) I wanted to do nothing, but I was also fully aware that 'nothing' wouldn't serve them or me well in the end. There has to be a 'something'. 

Then there's the parenting decisions which revolve around the 'something'; plan a fun activity and put my all into it, or admit I need a break and ask cBeebies if she will babysit for me, or the middle ground type of decision which I went for. (It usually matters more what my attitude is, rather than what the thing is. But hey...) So we went to a park. But, we went to the right park; the park which meant I didn't have to get too involved. (In other words, swings were out of the way). I counted the cost of parking, a Cappucino and two bottles of Fanta, and then I sat pretty much for two hours in the sunshine while two girls went and had their own fun. It was what I needed, and they benefitted from it. They stopped play only for toilet breaks, refills of water for an inpromptu water fight, to tell me what they'd been up to and to ask for one push of a roundabout. 

It did us all well. Kids can be easily pleased with the smallest of efforts. I took a photo or two, as I tend to do. I am wanting to take at least a photo a day for the whole of summer. Just taking a picture of a 'something', reminding myself that there was a choice made, there was something to be grateful for. I'll put them on Instagram, knowing that one picture doesn't let you into the whole day, but into a moment at least. I hope other mums remember that as they scroll past too. Maybe the photos will all look different, depending on the day, the energy, the amount of kids around, the sleep had, the various moods, the sunshine, or lack of... but so much of mumming feels the same that maybe they will have a similarity to them.

What I do know is that my Heavenly Father never has to weigh up His attitude towards me. He made His choice to love and accept me when He sent His son to die in my place, for all my non worthy choices. And additionally to that, He chooses to delight in me. Every day. His thoughts about me bring Him delight. I wonder which moments He chooses to remember.

"He brought me out into a broad place; he rescued me, because he delighted in me".
Psalm 18v19

School's Out for the Summer

Today feels quite the milestone! My last boy, my fourth, is having his last day at Primary School. 

It just happens to be his last day of Primary School during a global pandemic, so I'm very grateful that he was able to have this last day, as the semi-last day when schools closed a few months ago, was a sad and weird one. 

We've been at this school twelve years now, since the biggest one was four. We've gone through the ups and downs of local school life; the school having a name change, uniform change, different head teachers, different staff, (and one or two who have been there forever), being part of the governing body, watching it go through Ofsted inspections and seeing it finally become a 'GOOD' school (an emotional moment).

We moved to this quaint little village, I mean wonderful vibrant estate, around fifteen years ago. We felt God say to us, to send our kids to this school, which at the time didn't have a great track record. We trusted God with our boys. I remember my eldest, one year, having twenty one different teachers! That was a bit of a hard year, for us but also for the friends we had come to make in this community. We mentioned it a lot, got people to pray for the school and the community, and convinced some student teachers to take placements at the school, and further jobs. 

We've been to the Christmas fayres, the summer fayres, the book fayres. We've bought the fundraising cakes, and sponsored the non-uniform days. We've dressed them up as book characters. (And yes there was that time when I sent them to school as pirates, a week before it was pirate day). We've been to the assemblies, the nativities, the shows, the ear-piercing musical invitations, the Paragon events, the parents' evenings, the sports days (when it wasn't competitive and when it was). We've supported the 'maths with cups' initiative, and the ipad phase. We watched the Reception area get built, and the playgrounds change. We've had the awkward chats with other parents when our kid has been in the wrong, or their kid has. 

We've lost jumpers, gained jumpers, raided the lost property for jumpers. We've sent them or accompanied them on school trips, we've sent them to after school clubs, we've picked them up when they've had head injuries or been sick. I've signed them in late a couple of times. (This may be a slight understatement, and I feel like the office staff know me far too well). We've managed to avoid the PTA but supported them and all they do, and of course, the signing in of new parent governors. 

We've made a lot of friends along the way, other school mums and dads and grannies, who you do life with every day; some just a nod over the years and some more than that. Deep chats, tears and laughter with some, clubbing with others, Facebook banter with lots, Wetherspoons with a few, church with some, coffee with others, Prosecco with anyone willing, Lazerzone with a couple, sadly a graveside with one, but a friendship with many. 

And now I'm all nostalgic, which is a bit silly because the girls are still there. So I'll be at the school for another six years. Eighteen years I will actually do at this school gate, that's quite something. This school has a bit of a special place in my heart, so today I'll be nostalgic, maybe I'll even be emotional as I hand over the thankyou bottles and collect my latest baby to leave. 

It's not perfect this school, but it represents so much of what I love, in this quaint little village of Whitehawk.  

And those who know your name, put their trust in you, 
for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you. Psalm 9v10

A Squash and a Squeeze

"Wise old man, won't you help me please?
My house is a Squash and a Squeeze".

"Take in your youngest two," said the government man.
"Take in my youngest two? What a curious plan."

Well the youngest ones were excited to be at home.
But then missed their teachers, and started to moan.

"Take in the middle two" said the government man.
"Take in my middle two? What a curious plan."

Well the middle two had so much energy to burn.
They had to learn once more, how to take turns.

"Take in your oldest two" said the government man.
"Take in the oldest two? What a curious plan.

"But they will miss their exams, and even a prom".
That will be the least of their worries, with what's going on.

"Take in the husband. His office is closed".
He will now hold Zoom meetings next to a pile of your clothes.

So in the house, all eight of them were.
Then the husband surprised them with a friend made of fur. 

The middle ones only wanted to learn maths,
and one of the others took a long time to faff.

The oldest one had nothing to aim for,
And for some, home learning was really a bore.

The youngest one, needed support with her phonics
and mum realised she needed to be Bionic.

The food all got eaten, they just wanted more.
The time just went, the house doubled its chores.

Screens had to be shared, new work spaces made.
Mum had to teach, without getting paid.

People filled every inch of the home,
But with a garden to use, one shouldn't moan.

"Mum can you help me", interupted every hour. 
No space was given, not even in the shower.

Relationships strengthened, and some took the strain.
Every day repeated; the same again. And again.

Home learning, sharing screens, and working out with Joe.
Some garden visits, but no one in the house would go.

The 42 year old lady manically laughed, "At least we're now never late,
this house, it does feel full with eight.
Im tearing my hair out, Im down on my knees.
My house is a squash and a squeeze.

"Send the year six kid back, so he finishes Primary school".

He's fairly easy, but the house does seem less full.

"Send the oldest out to do manual work in a garden".

He's the helpful one, but yes feels less of a burden.

"Send that quieter one to serve, in the church media suite".

Ah yes the house can breathe, feels like a treat.

"Send the baby one back, to sit on her socially distanced spot".

Yes four down, feels like less than a lot.

"Send the husband back out. His office no longer is closed".

Might actually get round to sorting that pile of my clothes.

Thankful at times, for this bizarre opportunity,

to stay home, to stay well, and be locked down with my family.

While others go out, putting themselves in harm's way,

And some would have loved to have had such loud days.

There's no need to grumble and there's no need to grouse.

There's plenty of room in my house.

And now she's tired, but full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees.

It isn't a squash and it isn't a squeeze.

Yes she's full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees.

It isn't a squash or a squeeze. 

(Until dinner time when they're all back,

But for now, she will enjoy the lack).

For the Storytime version on Youtube, click here.