A Squash and a Squeeze

"Wise old man, won't you help me please?
My house is a Squash and a Squeeze".

"Take in your youngest two," said the government man.
"Take in my youngest two? What a curious plan."

Well the youngest ones were excited to be at home.
But then missed their teachers, and started to moan.

"Take in the middle two" said the government man.
"Take in my middle two? What a curious plan."

Well the middle two had so much energy to burn.
They had to learn once more, how to take turns.

"Take in your oldest two" said the government man.
"Take in the oldest two? What a curious plan.

"But they will miss their exams, and even a prom".
That will be the least of their worries, with what's going on.

"Take in the husband. His office is closed".
He will now hold Zoom meetings next to a pile of your clothes.

So in the house, all eight of them were.
Then the husband surprised them with a friend made of fur. 

The middle ones only wanted to learn maths,
and one of the others took a long time to faff.

The oldest one had nothing to aim for,
And for some, home learning was really a bore.

The youngest one, needed support with her phonics
and mum realised she needed to be Bionic.

The food all got eaten, they just wanted more.
The time just went, the house doubled its chores.

Screens had to be shared, new work spaces made.
Mum had to teach, without getting paid.

People filled every inch of the home,
But with a garden to use, one shouldn't moan.

"Mum can you help me", interupted every hour. 
No space was given, not even in the shower.

Relationships strengthened, and some took the strain.
Every day repeated; the same again. And again.

Home learning, sharing screens, and working out with Joe.
Some garden visits, but no one in the house would go.

The 42 year old lady manically laughed, "At least we're now never late,
this house, it does feel full with eight.
Im tearing my hair out, Im down on my knees.
My house is a squash and a squeeze.

"Send the year six kid back, so he finishes Primary school".

He's fairly easy, but the house does seem less full.

"Send the oldest out to do manual work in a garden".

He's the helpful one, but yes feels less of a burden.

"Send that quieter one to serve, in the church media suite".

Ah yes the house can breathe, feels like a treat.

"Send the baby one back, to sit on her socially distanced spot".

Yes four down, feels like less than a lot.

"Send the husband back out. His office no longer is closed".

Might actually get round to sorting that pile of my clothes.

Thankful at times, for this bizarre opportunity,

to stay home, to stay well, and be locked down with my family.

While others go out, putting themselves in harm's way,

And some would have loved to have had such loud days.

There's no need to grumble and there's no need to grouse.

There's plenty of room in my house.

And now she's tired, but full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees.

It isn't a squash and it isn't a squeeze.

Yes she's full of frolics and fiddle-de-dees.

It isn't a squash or a squeeze. 

(Until dinner time when they're all back,

But for now, she will enjoy the lack).

For the Storytime version on Youtube, click here.