Cloud Cover

Last week, I hopped on a plane to Lanzarote. The little mini-break was booked a while back, with a different friend. It was going to be our post-Pnuemonia getaway. We scanned deals for somewhere warm and cheap, with a pool! Only her Pnuemonia didn't go away, so she couldn't come, which was gutting for us both. (I mean, not gutting enough for me not to go. Such the good friend am I). I was either going to head out on my own or grab the sister in law to come with me, which she happily did. 

The blessing of this little holiday was in the nothingness, but that is a whole different blog post!

Where our little apartment was, meant that the sun would rise opposite our balcony. And because we're both mums with bodies and minds wired for the early rise, (despite desperately hoping for a later wake up), one or both of us were up to see it. 

I wrote the following, and sent it to a friend who has experienced her fair share of grey clouds lately, with the hope of it being a blessing and an encouragement to her. I thought maybe it would be a blessing and encouragement for others to read too.

I had the joy of watching the sunrise this morning. I was prepared to enjoy it. I had a blanket over my knees, a cup of tea, my notebook in case I felt inspried and my phone ready to take beautiful pictures. I was a bit disappointed because grey clouds kept covering parts of the sunrise. I couldn't get the photo I wanted. I even looked to the side, over the sea and could see that more grey clouds were on their way, moving quite quickly. I felt God start to speak to me, which if I'm honest, I was a bit annoyed about. Turns out I wanted the nice photo, more than I wanted to actually be inspired!   

I would get a glimpse of the beauty unfolding behind the grey clouds...the pinks, and the oranges, and the occasional hit of bright light. But the clouds kept moving and I couldn't see the full sunrise. Then the sun was just up in the sky. I'd missed all the pretty, breathtaking colours that I wanted to see, to capture and experience, and of course, photograph. 

I felt like God wanted to remind me (and you) of what is happening daily as the sun is rising; the colours, the brightness, the pinks, and oranges, the brightness, the warmth. None of these things aren't there just because the clouds are covering them. In my frustration of it not being what I had hoped for, what I wanted, what I felt I deserved even, I felt God say;

'I am right here. I am in my full glory and power. Can you even grasp the magnitude of that? 

I am in my full gentleness and goodness. Do you know what that means for you? I am all these things, regardless of whether the clouds keep coming. 

My promises, my hope, my victory remain steadfast even when the clouds keep coming. 

The truth of who I am, of what I have done remain true even when the clouds keep coming. 

Regardless of what is on the horizon, I am'.

There were moments of bright warmth, when I was looking at the sunrise. They hit my face, I closed my eyes and it was wonderful. I breathed them in, (which is much easier to do in a sunny country with the kids not around). How often do I think the sun isn't there because I cannot see it or feel it today? How often do I only see the rain, or the grey or the clouds? Does that mean the sun hasn't risen? Of course not. I must  look beyond the clouds even if it is an act of faith, knowing that the sun, the Son is there in all His radiance. He's not dulled down, even by constant clouds that keep coming.

I was reminded of the tomb with the massive stone in front. No one could see what was happening in that dark cave, where death was. The power and the life that was happening, even though no one could see it, was and still is, the greatest power in Heaven and on Earth. Absolutely amazing and faultless. And I have access to that, to Him, every day! He's not dulled down, even by death.

As powerfully as I felt God speak to me watching that first sunrise, still on the second day, I chose to lay in my bed on my phone instead. I know there is no guilt or shame in this, as the mini-break was for much needed rest and recuperation. But I think it's still worth mentioning. It is still a choice to seek Him out each day. 

And on the 3rd morning, I was packing, sorting out the apartment before we were due to fly home, and I nearly missed the sunrise in my busyness. I wanted to see it, I was up early enough, but I got distracted by what needed doing. In God's kindness, a bright ray of sunshine broke through the room, and caught my attention. It is probably my favorite photo of the holiday, because it speaks of His gentle lifting of my gaze to look for His. A wonderful reminder, that He wants to meet with me again today. He wants to get my attention. He wants me to experience His nearness, His warmth, His mercy. A reminder that the Son has indeed risen.

"Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised".  Psalm 113v2-3