Happy Ever After

This weekend, seemed to be a Cinderella marathon. At one point it was me, the girls, the dog and my seventeen year old lad. As we watched the old cartoon version, and then the more modern version, I dropped in some Bible teaching truth here and there as I do. 

You know, how magic seems enticing, fun and harmless but actually it's dangerous and to not be tempted by. Also the classic 'looking at the heart', not outward appearances, the kindness of some people, yet the true ugliness of others', and in the regards to Cinderella's step mother, what going after money can do to a person. I'm pretty sure not all step moms appreciated their Disney sterotype. It does feel a little unfair. But it's all so wonderful, because of the music. In fact, one of my favourite Disney songs is 'Mother knows Best', sung by a kidnapper, in an emotioanlly abusive way, but it's just so chipper. 

The 17yr old suggested we just watch the film, without some moral shaping along the way. I reminded him that he probably knows quite a lot of gospel teaching, because I used to do the same with The Incredibles and Bottle Top Bill when he was little. 

Sometimes it's a wonderful thing when my little people repeat back some of my teaching, and sometimes its a pain in the bum. I remember the same 17yr old precociously telling a babysitter that it was wrong for her to 'promise', because her 'yes should be yes' and her' no should be no'. I also remember, possibly with the same sitter, that when she said she would put some magic cream on my child's hand, that same 17yr old responded, "we don't have magic in this house". One of my kids once blurted out to a dear friend of ours, "you're on our unsafe list". We didn't have an unsafe list, we just had three people that my kids could get in a car with, or open the front door to without question, and we called it our 'safe list'. And of course, that one kid who stripped down butt naked, to tell a babysitter she was not allowed in his room to put him to bed, because he was keeping his private parts, private.

But today, with my drip drip drip approach to teaching into stuff, my daughters did me proud. They stated that Cinderella and the Prince, had kissed before they'd even found out each other's names. Cinderella had given away her kiss so quickly. Then, when prompted by me, (and a possible blog post), they were on a roll... 

Ariel and Cinderella changed who they were for a man. Aladdin changed who he was. He lied about himself, and to himself in order to be accepted. Now we have also had the chat about leaning in to someone elses preferences, and not causing that person to sin, but to change who you are completely...no! Ariel gave up her voice, (her voice!) for a man she didn't know. Pocahontas fell in love after one song, and that's not even mentioning some moral wrongs of that film. Anna fell for the first man who paid her any attention and was caught up with True Love, without knowing what it was. Until of course she herself showed it, by giving her life up for her sister. (Spoiler alert). We do love to talk about sacrificial love. It sits with the gospel quite well. And don't get us started on Hans... not a good man, not good at all. But there was that cute song about sandwiches.....

The girls said that it was good that Anna built up a friendship with Kristoff; they laughed a lot and went on adventures together, but he does 'tinkle in the woods'. Cue girlie giggles. Belle stayed with someone who was incredibly mean to her, after being quite a head strong woman to start with, realising that Gaston's arrogance was not what she wanted. They do find it hard to find fault with Belle. I mean, that dress! Moana was actually able to have a friendship with a guy, without everyone asking questions about them. An important one, especially in church life; we are brothers and sisters in Christ. In Tangled, Flynn was a bit full of himself, with selfish intentions, until he built a friendship with Repunzel, and ultimately sacrificed his well being for her's. Aurora fell in love with the man she woke up to, who was kissing her. Erm, that's a no. Elsa actually seems happy to be single, and use her giftings and her creativity without waiting around to be rescued by some guy, and Snow White lived with seven men! 

Don't get me wrong, we will contimue to love all of these films, and sing a long to them regularly, but there's always room to highlight an element or two that seems a little off. In a previous post, we looked at perfect Princess hair, we also chat about body shapes. I mean, those tiny waists!! Did they all have to be modelled on me? We also looked at the men and how handsome they had to be, to be deemed a worthy 'hero', otherwise they were just 'the funny one', and overlooked. We looked at how their daddy loves me, and the good qualities of their brothers (yes there are some, I had to remind them) as well as what the Bible says about how people should act, and whether people are putting God first.

I'm happy to have some of my teaching points come back and bite me, but I'm also happy for wisdom to be dripped in and for opportunities to chat stuff through. Last night we watched some episodes of Friends with the older two. They know we disagree with the sexual immorality of the programme and how pornography is just seens as a 'joke'. I don't perhaps interupt what they're watching quite as much as when they were young, but we did have an open discussion about surrogacy, IVF and abortion after one of the episodes. And some of that I think, is because we have set the expected openess during these kind of chats over the last seventeen years, which started with The Incredibles and is continuing it seems, with Disney Princesses.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect".       Romans 12v2

Ebenezer, not Scrooge

We all ate together for breakfast this morning, a planned rare occassion. We mainly aim instead, to get our dinners together as a family, wherever possible. When life was normal (if we can remember back then) some needed breakfast at 6:45am and others at 8am, so as a result, breakfasts are rarely eaten together in our house. (Maybe we could change this for lockdowns going forward, as we might not get the opportunity again). 

So we let the late sleepers sleep in a bit, said there would be orange juice (a rare treat) and planned to do/watch church a little later. As they all came into the kitchen, I explained that the meals of today could be related to a slightly obscure tower in the Bible, and asked if they could guess which one. They are totally used to this, and probably occassionaly bored by it. Less so, when food is involved of course, the fickle beings that they are. God's word, the Bible literally says the following...

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up". Deuteronomy 6v5-7

So, I have taken the words 'impress them on your children' as 'feed them to your children'. Some of my meals in this area have gone well, and it's very obvious what the story or Bible teaching is, and some have been far reaching, with one or two that were quite scary looking. You can check them out on one of my insta pages here. One day I'll stick them in a recipe book; the good, the bad and the ugly because I want to keep encouraging mums to find new ways to teach their kids about God's love for them, and because some are just hilarious. 

Anyway, their answers started coming. 'Tower of Babel', 'the tower of fire and cloud of smoke or something',

 'that tower where God changed languages', 'the leaning tower of Piza', 'the tower of Bethlehem', 'the tower to Heaven', 'the tower they marched around seven times'. Some of their answers were vaguely Biblical, some were simply not. But instead my answer was more obscure. It was a stone which Samuel had laid down to remember that God had helped His people even after they had sinned against Him, an Ebenezer. It was to remember His goodness, to be grateful for His rescue, His help again. 

A quick visual of the tower in Moana to help it sink in, and then we went round the table and said one thing that was good even during this lockdown, an Ebenezer of our own. One child said, 'online learning' met with an eye roll from a sibling. One said, 'time with my siblings', met with an unidentifiable murmer from someone else. There seemed to be a Scrooge amonst the Ebenezers. One child really couldn't think of anything, so had to be reminded of a good moment or two. One said, 'yesterday's family walk', which took all my self control not to say, 'Ha, told you it would be good'. One said, 'having school provision at this time'. One said, 'coming 2nd in the Kahoot quiz'. I said I liked it when we were altogether eating, no pressure to do anything. One said, 'this breakfast' because that's literally as far back as they can think. 

There was a moment when one of the teens asked for more, and I suggested that the mountain of Eggy bread that I had made was enough. His quick response of, "Aint no mountain high enough",  got him an extra batch made. 

It was nice, an important thing to keep doing. We ate a tower of Eggy Bread, a tower of waffles and a tower of meatballs. The eldest even said he was full, and that I had beaten him through the power of eggy bread. This is a huge compliment. This shall be my Ebenezer today. 

Shape of You

A Vlog and a Blog today! It's because I have just so much spare time lately, what with all these kids at home, home learning and buidling relationship with each other and with me...although to be fair, a product of Lockdown is that your evenings are free!

I had a little window to do a Vlog, after a stressy tearful hour multiplying various numbers. I stayed in the girls' room, sat on the floor amidst Barbies, a Spa set up, and a discarded whiteboard of sums. I was hiding, and hoping no one needed me. The girls had been released to put a screen on, and I was hoping and trusting that the boys were somewhere on a lesson.

In the quiet, I was reminded that last week I felt God speaking to me about Him shaping me. Him shaping me instead of circumstance, Him shaping me instead of Lockdown, Him shaping me instead of HomeLearning. It was just thoughts I was thinking, so it was hard to know if it was God speaking. Then someone shared in a Devotional video about people letting the life of Jesus shape them. I was also struck by the different things you can shape; character, eyebrows, a beard, converstaion, creative decisions to name a few. And for me, if it's a reoccurring whisper or nudge, or kick up the bum and it lines up with the Bible, I try to take my fingers out my ears and listen, in case it's God whispering.

Feel free to watch the Vlog. Anyway, as a result of the subject of 'being shaped', I made some biscuit dough and explained to the girls that God shapes us, if we allow Him to. As I was teaching them, I suggested they shape their own biscuits to get an idea of God shaping them. I explained that God didn't use a cookie cutter when He made them. He didn't make them exactly like other people. He made them unique, and if they listen to God's best for their lives, He will shape them from the inside out. I explained that God shapes us through His Word, the Bible, through church or Kids TV, through us as their parents, through worship, and through the wisdom of others. Or they could choose instead to allow themselves to be shaped by those around them, their circumstances, movies they watch, TV, and as they get older Social Media. 

We discussed how absurd it is that Barbie's physical "perfection" could shape their thinking, even though she is both unreal and unrealistic and how God instead wants to shape them from the inside; their heart, their emotions, their thoughts, their moral thinking, their conscience. (Barbie comes up a lot in our teaching moments). 

The girls shaped their biscuits, and wondered what God was thinking when He designed them and shaped them. We wondered which parts He spent longer on, which parts made Him smile, which parts seemed annoying or confusing right now, but might grow into something different, which parts God might use in the future, which parts of us were like parts of Him, which parts He thought were the best parts of us, which characteristics He chose uniquely for us. And we ate cookie dough whilst doing so.

I was struck by the picture I had taken, of the things which surrounded the girls while they were shaping their biscuits. I mean some mums may have cleared the whole table before embarking on baking, but one of the benefits of a table that sits eight people every day, is that there is always a little space that can be made, in amongst the mayhem. The photo includes things that literally have potential to shape me... caffiene, chocolate spread, sheer mess, home learning, the future worries (well an empty 2021 diary), the TV controller, and stuff I listen to. I'm not sure the fish, German phrases and a poster on Puberty will shape me too much. But as always when teaching the kids, there seems a lot for me to learn too.

"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature". Genesis 2v7

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand". Isaiah 64v8