Hug in a Mug

Last night, we had an on-line church prayer meeting, and I cried afterwards. 

I cried because I miss my church family, I cried because it was nice to worship, I cried because I was tired, I cried because I was done, I cried because I needed to cry. A friend from church messaged me jokingly to say that I looked like I wasn't enjoying myself. Darn it Zoom. I messaged back to say that I was in fact enjoying the worship but close to tears. She offered to call me and pray for me, over the phone. Part of me wanted to jump at the chance, and part of me wanted to fob her off and say it was unnesscessary. I waited a bit, and then text her back with a Yes, hoping she wouldn't see the text as it was quite late. 
But she called, prayed, didn't ask questions and then hung up. I cried and felt a huge relief, and realised that was just what I had needed.

It's funny, the emotions that are thrown up in this Lockdown; some fear, some anger, some joy, some hilarity, some stress, some peace, some laughter, some doubt. My littlest girl has an online lesson with her teacher, and the teacher asks her to draw a face of how she's feeling. So far, she has only drawn a sad face, which is sad. She's actually doing very well, and happy a lot of the time. But the on-line lesson makes her miss her teacher. 

A couple of weeks ago, we did a Science experiment in our house. We wanted to test the theory; 'people feel better after drinking hot chocolate'. My Instagram friends got involved, sharing pictures of their hot chocolates, and how they felt after drinking them. It turns out you don't feel better if you've just eaten a whole Roast dinner! Or if your mum has pulled you off Fortnite to drink hot chocolate and talk about your feelings. But on the whole, we proved the theory to be true. 

As well as getting a hot chocolate out of it, and the kids enjoying Science, I loved the chat we had about how we were feeling. We wrote down what was sad or hard about our current situation; not seeing friends, staying in the house, not being at school, (even school dinners got a mention), not going to church, or friends' houses, not going to restaurants, not going to Youth, not playing football with friends, the virus, the deaths, missing the playground, and cafes with Daddy. 

Then we read Philippians 4v11-13
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength".

I have read the last part of this verse many times before, but for some reason it really struck me this time. I think I sometimes want to add, 'except this' to it. I can do all things, except this. 

We chatted through the meaning of contentment. And it's quite the challenge when you're looking into it, and having to explain it to little people. You have to be honest too, and say where you find it hard. It's good for them to know you're in the same boat as them, and it's only God that is 'other/separate' from us. I explained that thankfulness is a really good way to help us to be more content. So we listed the things we were thankful for; the NHS, a garden, people in the house with us, binmen, Joe Wicks, ice cream, daddy in every evening, screens, films, flour, Facetime, and of course, hot chocolate. 

I'm pretty sure the exercise did me just as much good as it did the kids, and we've stuck the 'Content' picture up in our kitchen, so we can remember what were thankful for. Because we can do all things through Christ, who gives us strength, even this.

Manna from Heaven

"It's a strange season we find ourselves living in". I think I've said, thought and text this a fair few times. There's just no real box to put this all in. There's nothing really to compare it to. It's just all a bit bizarre, and affecting us all in different ways. Or it affects us in similar ways, but on different days. Whether or not we live with people. Whether or not, we go to work, or work from home, or can't work. Whether or not, we have a garden or a dog to walk, or a bike to ride. Whether or not, we have kids, how many, how they cope, how they interact, how they learn, how they do life. Whether or not, there's two parents or one in the house. Whether or not, we have access to the internet, or enough devices, or the ability to learn without a teacher. Whether or not we're an introvert, an extrovert, an in-the-middle-vert. Whether or not we have too much time on our own, or not enough. Whether or not, we know what a sour dough starter is, what to do with one, or how long it painstakingly takes to make it into a loaf of bread.

I think we're all quite grateful for tech; the facetiming of friends and grandparents, and cousins. The Zoom prayer meetings. The Live Youtube Youth meetings. The Google Hangouts, and virtual games. The House Parties. The access to the world wide web and all it has to offer in terms of education and new ideas. The blogs, the videos, the memes. 
But I think we're also a bit done with tech; the lack of face to face contact. Being muted. Not knowing when to speak. The glitching. The freezing. The crashing. The breakout rooms.  The blogs, the videos, the memes. 

Personally for me, I have struggled to get any time alone. The little ones are up at 7am (a lie in for some mums) and the big ones are up until 11pm. And the 16 hours inbetween are filled up with so may things it seems. During the educational hours, it's juggling the needs of six individuals and working out who gets the computer when. During the creative, spiritual, emotional and physical times, it's working out who is doing what activity and in which room, with what, and with which sibling. Or indeed, who needs to be kept away from all siblings. 

During free time, it's monitoring who has become one with Fortnite, what mess has been made where, whose turn it is to do a household chore, who needs me to do the thing I put off earlier, and teaching the little pink ones that they do not need to put every single item from their bedroom in to all of their handbags. 
During the snack time, and dinner time, it's all together time, which is my favourite bit probably. Somewhere in there, there's dinner prep, and washing and texing and Instagram, and the usual 'Divide & Conquer', family warfare, as well as laughter, and "make him stop!!!" And then it's the evening, and I'm tired, but I might need to contact someone or watch a film with the teens or attempt to ask the husband about his day or reply to people, or I just simply zone out.

There were a few teary days last week, where me and the husband realised that I may need a bit of head space, and physical space. (Hats off to the single mums who crave this, and can't speak to anyone about this, let alone actually get that space, especially in this season). And I realised that with the lack of 'me time', the God time has been lacking too. Sure there's Daily Devotions, coming straight to my email address, there's Daily kids' Bible stories, there's virtual church on Sundays. There's small groups, and prayer meetings on line and there's the constant teaching of the gospel, to the kids. But there's a dryness... a lack, an apathy, a passivity, and without the necessary hunger to push me back towards my Heavenly Father.

I had a little day dream or perhaps God was speaking to me (it's harder to hear His voice, when I'm not listening) about the bit in the Bible, where the people of God, grumbled to Him and He sent them 'Manna from Heaven'. Basically like a frost on the ground when the dew had gone, and it could be gathered daily and used to bake with. I was literally thinking of everyone going out to gather their portions, and me just staying home and not bothering. Then at bedtime that evening, the girls' Bible story, was the exact same one. Mmm... 

So yesterday, I attempted to read it. There was a moment, when they all had a task to do. (Albeit the little one's task was to suck a lollipop, but desperate times require desperate measures). I was interupted by a child who wanted to share their homework with me, the same one asked when he could stop learning, one who asked if we could get a tortoise,  (I think he was meant to reading), one child spilled water on her LOL top, and another child, (or the same child, I lose count) wanted me to help her with her new Build-A-Bear magazine, which she was meant to be looking at 'on her own' I tried not to get stressed with them. Not their fault. They're trying to adjust and cope too. (Although c'mon just sucking on a lollipop shouldn't require help). 

I was in the sunshine, which definitly makes it easier. I Paused, tried again. And again. Eventually I got through the thirty six verses. I underlined one verse;

"And when the dew had gone up, there was on the face of the wilderness a fine, flake-like thing, fine as frost on the ground". (Exodus 16v14)

I was drawn to this verse, because 'on the face of the wilderness', the provision of 'manna' was there. Smack bang in the literal and spiritual sense of the wilderness, the wasteland, the dry land, the desert place, the barren land, God's provision was there. 

And the manna, the provision, was sweet (like wafers made with honey). I didn't have an amazing spiritual or emotional moment, but that one phrase tasted and smelled amazing. I guess, like food or water for my dry and thirsty soul. The source of the provision isn't in question. It's available. It's right there, on the face of the wilderness. Whether or not I actually receive that provision, or go and get it, is a whole different thing entirely. I think I will stay in Exodus 16, if I get another lollipop moment. If the moments are scarce, I may need to see where I can add more moments in. (Go and actually pick up the provision). But I think staying with this one chapter may do me good. Maybe I'll listen to it, and dwell on it, even while I'm feeding a sour dough starter. It won't grown on it's own, it needs to be fed.

Wherever I Am, There's Always Pooh

Throwback post, from eight years ago; back to when parks could be visited daily, and Antibacterial Soap was aplenty.

Last week I experienced one of those moments, you know the moments which really highlight the wonders of motherhood. I was in the park with three out of four of the boys, waiting for one of them to finish his after school club.

My almost three year old was testing to see if the boundaries of disobedience were the same in a park as they are in the house, which of course they are. I had approached him as he wasn't responding to me, and that's when I realised that he had wet himself, which may have been part of the reason for him not coming to me. (That and a slightly stubborn streak).

I explained that I needed to change his trousers, so he held my hand and we walked over to the buggy. I quickly pulled his trousers off, and it was as the poo rolled onto my hand and hit the park floor, that I realised my son had actually had more than a wet accident. These are the moments in life which no one ever prepares you for, no matter what books you read. 

I sat for a few seconds wondering what to do and gritted my teeth as another child in the park told me I shouldn't bring pooey babies there. I reached into my bag only to realise that I had made a rookie mistake; I had left the house without baby wipes! Who does that after eight years and four children? I even recently gave a mum-to-be a survival kit; consisting of wipes, anti-bacterial gel, wine, Calpol and chocolate. I could have done with this kit on this very day. 

My other two boys came to help, watch and comment on my disastrous moment. They offered to get me some leaves to clean my poo covered hand. I didn't answer them with my best motherly, calm and gentle tone. They were just being helpful, and leaves were quite a good suggestion. It was more that their 'help' wasn't adding to the situation, which I was trying to be in control of. I washed my hand with Ribena instead. I pulled my boy's trousers up and tried to pull his shirt down a bit more to disguise his mishap. I still had ten minutes to wait until the after school club finished, so the poo-child ran off to play again. I chose to delete everything that had just happened, from my mind. With my head held high, smiling at my boy, I tried to ignore the gross smell that was emitting from him, and the frutier gross smell that was coming from my hand as I waved at him.

When we reached home, I showered my son while squirting bubble bath all over his rear. I threw his pants away, replenished my bag with wipes, cleaned the buggy, and then finally an hour later cleaned my own hands; post poo, post Ribena, post bum cleaning, post buggy cleaning, with anti-bacterial soap. As I was doing so, I wondered whether there could really be a God-moment I could grasp for. I thought back to the morning when I had met with some other mums and we had looked at Ephesians 2 together.

"For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."

I held on to the fact that God created us mums to do good works, which He prepared in advance for us to do. And that God's hands are clean, and if I am His handiwork, then I am made clean by Him too. Oh I know it's a leap, from poo to God. But God knew the good works us mums would have to do. To be honest, He sees all the crap! And just as I held my son's hand to walk him over to the buggy, to deal with his stuff...God holds my hand, and helps me with my stuff too.

Virtual Reality

So we are a week into Lockdown in this household, and the schedule has been losely on point. There have been fun family moments of PE, first thing in the morning, with The Body Coach. Even more entertaining, has been our own family live FaceBook streaming our version of the workout. (Thank you to all have tuned in and commented). 

There have been moments where we have all read a book (or scanned Social Media but the kids don't need to know that), there have been educational moments, and fights over computer screens, with arguments such as, "my education is more important than his", there have been Victory Royales (a win on Fortnite), as well as Playstation bans. 

There have been days we just couldn't be bothered, and days we've watched a lot of Barbie Dreamhouse. Some moments have been filled with laughter; the fun joyous kind, and the slightly insane kind, as well as some high level stress moments, and some tears. The kids have quickly learned that if they say, "I think it's for the benefit of my emotional health", I'm more likely to agree to their request. 

I've had a fair few emails from the CEOs of 'every shop I've ever been to', and watched the close of some favourite eateries, as well as the sad realisation that some businesses might not make it back, but I'm hoping the Government's finacial help, gives some hope. 

Social Media has been a mixture of sad news, unflattering FaceTime photos, scary stuff, amusing memes, encouragements from Head Teachers and actual HomeSchool mums, to take it easy and enjoy the kids. There's always some negativity on Social Media, but also so much community spirit bursting forth too. There's been Zoom meetings, NHS clapping, slighty stressed mums, one anothering, church streaming, and helpful links of things to do and see, and a vast amount of things to virtually connect with. 

I thought I'd mention some of these here; a look into what's on offer. Bigger companies like Twinkl have put out a lot of free resources to help school kids from Early Years to KS4, with SEN help too. (A lot of these are printable, which doesn't serve everyone). There are live animal cameras to watch at various zoos, and some celebrities playing their part. Steve Backshall is doing Live Facebook Q&As, weekdays at 9:30am. David Walliams is reading his own books at 11am, cleverly called Elevensies. You can even let Carol Voderman take the stress out of teaching Maths. Countdown all over again.

You can listen to stories at Audible Stories, you can go to the theatre from the comfort of your sofa. You can virtually tour the Louvre, and other museums. (Although I'm pretty sure watching Night at the Museum, is just as factual). There's plenty more virtual tours you can take here. Later we are getting on a virtual ride at Disney You can also bake with Martha Collinson, with things you find in your cupboard, hopefully not too random a selection of food. (See my latest blog involving a tin of Cock A Leekie). Maybe do the baking after the rollercoaster, just in case Virtual Reality is really as good as the real ride! You can also learn British Sign Language; an excellent language to learn, which will result in more people feeling included and understood. That's never a bad thing.

I thought I'd also share some of the smaller, lesser known resources too. I have the pleasure of knowing a few teachers and creative types, who are giving their services at this strange time. Author Dave Atheral, is reading through a chapter of his book NOT PAT, with a question at the end. Mr Field is doing some on line maths teaching, via Loom. Another teacher has a wonderfully creative Instagram account; Cool Classroom. 

My Papercut Forrest is also doing some beautiful things with paper, while Button & Blue is teaching us to knit! Gem's Wholesome kitchen is a great place to find Veggie and Vegan cooking videos. Emma Stone Johnson is making free cards for NHS members. Kimbalu is a fun singing monkey who would love to entertain your little ones, as are the guys at Little Notes. (Fun and singing, not monkeys). You can join with Glass dance  on their Facebook live teaching videos. If you want some Biblical content, you can watch the adorable Bible Sisters, as they tell Bible stories with their toys. You can check out Emmanuel Kids, The Little Worship Company and Baby Devotions. 

There are of course, far more things to access, far and wide, as well as local and home-made. What a blessing technology is to us. 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows". James 1v17

A Moment in Time

Well, we find ourselves in a 'Moment in Time', which of course all moments are, but this one seems pretty significant. We're in the midst of a Pandemic. Something the history pages will look back on. A time of uncertainty for us all.

I've sent three of my kids off to school, for the last two days of this term, and maybe even the next?! Ive got one downstairs doing home school-work, as his year group was understaffed to be able to teach him this week. I've got one in bed, presently just grateful it's not his usual 6:15am early wake up call. And I've got a disappointed sixteen year old who has gone into school, disheartened that he wont sit his GCSEs, and quite likely that there will be no 'end of school, shirt signing' for him and his friends, no chance for a proper end to his schooling life, and unsure what the future holds for college. 

Yesterday I went to Asda, and Instagrammed my amusing take on it all. I get the sudden rush on pasta and loo roll, (maybe not to the extent that some have taken). But there were no toothbrushes. I didn't see that one coming. There was also no whiskey. It felt enough like Christmas, that I wondered if I should pop a bottle of Baileys in the trolley. But I didn't. I was in there for bread, milk and cereal, of which I was allowed two of. There was one tin of Cock-a-Leekie soup! Firstly, what is that, and secondly, we're panic buying Cock-a-Leekie soup now?! I left it kindly for someone else!

There's been quite the anger from some, seeing the panic buying. It's rather selfish in some ways, and there is enough food to go around, they just cant get it re-stocked quick enough. But I also understand people's desire to make sure their family and friends are looked after. I got a box of decaffinated teabags for my sister in law, because there's no way she would get through this without tea. I already had bought tea for myself, as there was only Earl Grey left and that's just like drinking perfume! So have I added to the demand?! There are lengths people go to, to protect their own. It puts the whole Seria refuge crisis in a little perspective. If we're panic buying in a Pandemic to look after our own, surely we can understand why someone would put their whole family on a boat or in a van, in an actual war?! 

I'm not so sure when people were buying their extra pasta, they were hoping the elderly would go without. And I'm encouraged that the supermarkets have started letting the elderly and those who care for the vulnerable in earlier than the rest of us. That's the right thing to do. I'm also loving the community spirit at work, people looking out for those local to them, especailly those who may be self-isolating, whatsapp groups and Facebbok pages opening up to one another. There seems to be a renewed sense of looking after the poorer in society, the more frail, the less able. There seems to be a less hurried way of doing life in the midst of it all, chatting to people, asking people how they are doing, social distancing but not social isolating. It's a time of coming together, of one anothering. 

I watched the Prime Minister's speech yesterday with one of my kids, who has a lot of questions about it all, and there aren't many answers to give him. It was a bit like you see in the films of old, people gathered around the screen, waiting for answers and information. Then at dinner I explained as fully as I could, with the different ages represented, what was happening....and the effects on people's health, the effects on people's jobs and money, and housing, the effects on our wonderful NHS, the fact that we probably shouldn't see Nanny and Grandad for a little while, the effects on education, the effects on church, the effects on Foodbanks and the poor, and children who wont be geting free school meals, the effects on GCSEs, the effects on why daddy is super busy at the moment, the effects on the shops, and socialising, the effects of a Lockdown, the effects of worry and anxiety on people, and so on. 

I explained too that disappointment would be largely spread; weddings cancelled, postponed, hurridly brought forward, flights and trips and holidays of a lifetime cancelled, family occasions and celebrations halted. It was a bit of a bleak chats at points, and they were asked to share their questions.

One asked if there was any more Pesto Pasta left. Ah the irony of this was not missed on me. The littlest one asked, 'what's a virus?' And then got very sad that she wont see her teacher for a while. (Her teacher is her favourite human, closely followed by the bin man). Another child asked how it would affect playing out with his friends, can kids get it? Will we know anyone who dies from it? How is it passed on? Why are we washing our hands? Are  Nanny and grandad ok? Why will we have to do school work? What if one of us gets it? What will happen to church? 

I did my best to answer some questions... where I could. And I got to tell them a wonderful answer my friend gave her daughter. Her daughter came in and asked, 'What's the latest news?' And my friend profoundly answered, 'Well, Jesus is still on the throne. He loves us very much and He is still, and always will be good'. I reminded them of the hope we have in Jesus in the midst of this; that the biggest thing we've ever had to face is actually the forgiveness of our sin, and that Jesus dealt with that at the cross. I reminded them that there will be an eternity with Jesus, where there will be no pain, no shame, no tears, not death, no illness and no viruses. And that whislt we're living through this bit of history, our hope in Him doesn't change. He's always been and always will be. He cares for us the same way He's always cared. He loves people and continues to want them to find their way back to Him.

Surely this newfound community spirit, this looking after of one another, this 'if you can be anything, be kind' mentality, this selfless serving of others, this taking care of the poor and vulnerable, is how God intended us to love one another...how He first loved us

We prayed, as a family after dinner, one by one, thanking God for something, because we know that thankfulness is a weapon against disappointment. We prayed against getting the virus. And we submitted our worries, our concenrs and our disappointments to God also, knowing that He's not surprised by what He sees. He's not wobbled by it all. In a time of uncertainty, He remains very sure, very certain indeed.


We praise you, God, we praise you, for your Name is near;
people tell of your wonderful deeds.

You say, “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity.
When the earth and all its people quake,
it is I who hold its pillars firm.

Psalm 75v1-3

“I (Jesus) have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. 

In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16v33

Keep Calm and Take a Nap

Yesterday, I napped. It was a delightful thing. I got back into bed at 9:25am, and woke up at 1:15pm. For the first hour, I just thought about all the things. You know, everything. All the mum stuff. All the household stuff. All the To-Dos I keep not doing. Like a Dot-To-Dot, but without numbers, trying to piece them altogether to make a vague picture. 

I refused to let myself scroll on Insta or Facebook, knowing that would be a waste of this precious nap time. It was one of those naps that I felt I had waited 16years for. I remember napping with my first baby, all those years ago. He'd feed and then fall asleep, I'd feed then fall asleep. Job done. And he was a good sleeper; he still had a sleep after school every day and even at senior school in the first two weeks, they phoned me to say he was asleep. 

When I had my second son, there were wonderful moments when I managed to get them both down for a nap at the same time. Oh so precious. That's some of the best mumming out there, if it can be achieved. (I never had that guilt bit where I would frantically use the time to catch up on the housework. I'm sure the husband would have loved it if I had), but instead I would get under a duvet, just to rest a little. To breath a little. To be me for a few minutes. To not give out for a while. I needed recharging as their recharge was even faster and more superior.

Then I had the third; a ball of energy. He always needed less sleep. He was the kid who from age 2 and a half, til about 9 or 10 didn't even stay in his room at bedtime. I remember people saying he'd grow out of it in a few weeks, but it took about 7 years. We just let him fall asleep on the landing in the end, and we put him to bed when we went to bed. 

The fourth one I remember he'd fall asleep all cuddled up on me, with the tv on, so I had to make sure I'd had a wee, with the remote control nearby, and good neck support. It's like mum Ninja training which you don't think about with your first. But we'd normally get disturbed by the nursery run. 3hr nursery slots do not leave much time for activities which tire them out well enough to fit in the nap well enough. I don't seem to remember five and six, and their napping abilities, which is a slight concern as they're the newest ones, but somewhere in there, I started childminding and nap schedules were up to Ofsted standards but at varying times. And I think Ofsted frown upon 'on the job napping'.

So, this nap was beautiful. 3 hours of silent duvet wrapping, with no school or nursery runs, with the phone on silent incase the school rang to tell me one of them had broken their glasses or forgotten a PE kit, or knocked heads with another kid. Nothing I needed to be woken for. And I awoke to some verses on Instagram about rest, because I obviously invited the world into my nap time.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” 

Matthew 11v28

Obviously the wonderful thing about napping in the day, is the physical rest and restoring of energy, as well as how ridiculously sneaky it feels. But I love this verse, because as well as physical rest, I believe it is talking about spiritual rest, emotional rest, mental rest, and soul rest. In my recent vlog, I mention about having time with Emmanuel (God with us), in the midst of the busy! There are plently of people, most people in fact, who can't just nuzzle down into a duvet for a few hours, but we can still take a moment to come to God, our Heavenly Father, and cast all our worries onto Him, share our burdens with Him, stop and breath for a few minutes and allow Him to bring rest to our souls.

If you're a mum of a little one, I do hope you don't have to wait a decade for a daytime nap! But soul refreshing can be yours right now. If you've got a few minutes, watch this worship video and breathe in His love and His presence, and actively cast your burdens onto Him. He who cares for you, more than you even care for your little ones.

Are We There Yet?

As I read through old blog posts, editing them to see if there is a book somewhere in all of this, I thought I'd repost this old post from September 2011. It was a time of only little boys, and yet today my girls took a splashy, wet journey home!

Me and the husband have very different approaches to a trip out with the boys. I like to enjoy it from the beginning; making the picnic lunch, getting the bags ready, talking to the boys about it, and leisurely heading to wherever we are going for our day's fun, enjoying the journey on the way. The husband however, thinks that the fun starts once we are at the designated place. He’ll be the most fun dad ever, when we are there. This difference in approach has caused many a little discussion on days out. Me and the boys enjoy asking him if we’re there yet, to help pass the time on the journey.

I was amused yesterday at a journey I had with a friend. Our destination was a mum's prayer group, not very far away, after the school run. Sounds simple enough. But the journey seemed less than simple. It was delayed by a hospital phone call, with a detour due to three fire engines, much loved by boy in the back. There was an errand to run on the way. There was traffic. There was the beeping of horns and even a man dressed as a pizza who attempted to slow us down as he stepped in front of the car. There was a phone call from my friend's husband, a closing window of a sleeping baby and the school pick-up time restraint at the other end of the morning. 

The destination in our relationship with God, is that one day we will be citizens of Heaven. However, so much happens on the journey from first knowing Him, to being with God forever. Life and stuff along the way, shapes us and causes us to grow. It depends of course, on which route we take, and how much we trust God to lead us. But it is all part of the moulding and shaping; making us more like Jesus, and more expectant of the Heavenly destination.

With these thoughts going through my mind, I decided to let the youngest two walk at their own pace on the lunchtime school run. It was sunny and I had no plans, and I wanted to see what the journey would look like and what it would teach me. It took thirty minutes instead of ten, which for someone a little on the unorganised side of life was a nice change from the last minute rush!

The boys ran giggling, they stopped to pick up ants, they stopped to look at a brick, one of them tripped over, one of them needed discipline for disobedience, they climbed up a steep muddy bit while I stuck to the path, they went their own way, the same one tripped up again, they were scared by a dog, they rescued a baby snail, they walked up and rolled down a hill, they looked for more dogs, they sat down, they climbed on a fence, they wandered aimlessly, and there was very nearly a dog poo incident!

My role on the walk seemed to be to encourage them to keep walking, leading from the side-line. I asked them about their day, took an interest in the baby snail and the ant. I held their hands when they were near the roads. I kept them safe from dogs, and enjoyed their laughter. I tried not to get hurried or bored with their slower route. I picked them up when they fell and reassured them to go again. I guess it made me think about how God keeps me safe, how He encourages me to keep going and how He leads the way, for me to follow Him, how He takes an interest in my life and how He loves me dearly, but how He also allows me to make my own choices. 

Sometimes that means I take the wrong path, sometimes I go the more difficult route, sometimes I need discipline, sometimes I get scared, sometimes I get distracted and sometimes I end up in dog poo. But just like I didn't leave my children to go it alone, my Heavenly Father doesn't leave me to go it alone either. And I know it shapes me as I journey on, trusting His ways. I guess I learnt from my two adventure-seeking giggly boys today to slow down a bit and enjoy it, rather than keep asking God if I'm there yet!

"But our citizenship is in heaven,
and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,
who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body,
by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself."
Philippians 3v20-21