Just Do It

So my first post of the year; New Year, New You, saw me claiming the word "Intentional" as my own, for the whole year! And it's been rather interesting so far. For starters, you can pretty much do anything and just add the word intentional to it, and it makes you feel better haha. Love an easy win.

I've had quite a few people message me encouragement from my Instagram stories, saying they've appreciated how I see the word intentional. I think I used to see it as 'do more', or at least, 'just do it' (Whatever it actually is) 'be better', 'try harder', and ultimately 'try to be someone I'm not', which can be really demoralising, tiring, and not honouring to God. He made me to be be, not someone else. 

However, He does want me to be the best me I can be (in His strength, not my own).

I had a bit of a blow out with one of my boys. It was one who I don't have many blow outs with; our personalities don't clash, and his temperament  is pretty chilled. He over reacted, and then I over reacted, then he was very frustrated and I equally so, resulting in tears and huffs from us both. He went off to read, and I went off to the kitchen.
The kitchen; my weird haven. It was close to his bedtime so I knew I could just get him into bed, and then have some time to blog, and intentionally encourage a mum or two and just breathe a bit.

I wondered what 'being intentional with my parenting' meant in that moment, and I found myself seizing the moment. I sat next to him on the floor, said what I was sorry for, asked what he was sorry for. We hugged, we prayed, we forgave, and I asked him if there was a film we could watch together. He reminded me that it was his bedtime, which is his way of asking, 'are we watching the whole thing, or are you going to make me stop half way'? (Something he doesn't like too much). And I said the most important thing for me right now was to 'lean in and love him'. So we watched a half decent movie about Earthquakes. I didn't blog, or encourage a mum. But I intentionally loved my son, and it was just so worth it.

There was another moment this week, where the kitchen was an absolute state. It had got on top of me, as it does. I had made a meal for a new born mum and her family, and then was stressing at having to make my own kids a meal, and clear the table so we could all eat together as a family... I knew it would be through gritted teeth. So instead I set up a little camp for the girls, which means 'drape the curtain over the sofa, and give them pillows', and I didn't ask the boys to come away from 'Ultimate Ninja' or whatever they were watching, and I just made a heap load of sausages which they ate in front of their screens. I don't know whether this was intentional parenting, or intentional breathing space. But I know it served us all better than if I had stressed to do the other stuff.

I think the word 'intentional' for me, has relieved some of the Mummy Guilt. Ah man, that 'I'm not good enough' feeling mums seem to get the moment a child is handed to them. What is that? And where does it come from? Eating sausages in front of screens could easily be seen as a fail, a 'not good enough', a 'can't be bothered', with just a load of mum guilt thrown in, especially when family meal times are really important to us. But for some reason, making an intentional decision to do this for me, for my sanity, for my capacity, lessened all of that. And of course, the kids think it was the best so it was a win win.

Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. 

You are serving the Lord Christ. Colossians 3v23-25

The Kitchen

The Kitchen; My Weird Haven

The Kitchen is where I spend most of my time

The kitchen is where I feed my tribe

The kitchen is where I makes cups of tea

The kitchen is where I provide for their needs

The kitchen is where we try and listen to each other

The kitchen is actually where we talk over each other

The kitchen is where we eat our food

The kitchen is where I gauge their mood

The kitchen is where they want after-school snacks

The kitchen is where we get family-time back

The kitchen is where we shoot nerf guns 

The kitchen is where I escape their fun

The kitchen is where I run to my phone

The kitchen is where I can be alone

The kitchen is where I'm reminded I'm messy

The kitchen is where I take a break from the stressy

The kitchen is where I do not bake

The kitchen is where I whisper, 'For Goodness sake'

The kitchen is where they come and tell

The kitchen is where I try not to yell

The kitchen is where I glance at the man

Thankful and bemused by this noisy clan

The kitchen is where they drop all the plates

The kitchen is where I start running late

The kitchen is where they do their chores

The kitchen is where they say they're bored

The kitchen is where I wash their clothes

The kitchen is where I butter the loaves

The kitchen is where tears are shed

The kitchen is where laughter is bred

The kitchen is where the dishes get clean

The kitchen is where they're not on their screens

The kitchen is where they tell me their day

The kitchen is where I try and pray

The kitchen is where my people sit,

to talk about life and marriage; all of it.

The Kitchen is where I do what I do

The kitchen, you're welcome, no matter who.

New Year, New You

So it's January again... I nearly managed to keep last year's Resolution, which was to keep my bank cards in my wallet. And the husband was right, (as he so often is on this subject), you do lose your cards less, if they're kept in a wallet, in a bag, rather than in a back pocket! Ha Who knew?!

I'm not really one for New Year's Resolutions, mainly because I just don't stick to stuff, and it feels really constrictive. But this year I have been unwillingly challenged in a few places, which is really not fair this early on in the diary...

A friend of mine shared a blog post about finishing the last year well, with the hope of starting the next one well too. You can read it here. I responded with 'eurgh I hate these things', like the mature godly woman that I am. I don't know what it is about those things that make me squirm; possibly the non completer/finisher in me, possibly it's being married to Mr systematic, (he would LOVE this blog post, and probably suggest that we read it together every week), possibly it's the fear of being boxed in, maybe it's laziness, I don't know. But for the first time, I felt compelled to not only read the blog post, but give it some actual thought and time, and even practically do what it says! 

This, alongside being challenged by a couple of friends of mine to follow Allie Casazza on Instagram. (Shes a de-cluttering guru, who encourages people to think of a word or phrase for the year ahead; something that will inspire you, spur you on, refocus you etc.) After joking about the words 'Shallow' and 'Prosecco', I completed the above blog post challenge, and I have come up with the word 'Intentional', which I kept forgetting at first. But now it's staying put for the year, and now I've told all of you, so there's no backing out of it.

I feel like God has spoken to me about my negative view of words/blog posts/conversations etc on structure, routine, disciplines, resetting, focus, goals even.... and He would actually like me to use some of these things to be more intentional with what He has called me to do. Challenge accepted! Mmm...not that easy is it, if it's just not your comfort zone. Happy to have 6 kids and live at a fast pace, and high capacity. Not so happy to add structure and a time table into my week, in case I cant be me anymore. I am however made in God's image, and He is all about the order, and the spontaneous all at once, so I'll take His lead. Always a good idea!

So in case you want to know, this year I aim to be more intentional in the following areas;

*Intentionally reading the Bible daily (for me and for the benefit of others).

*Be intentional with my time 'right now' and for the week ahead.

*Be intentional with my parenting and my marriage.

*Intentionally trying not to get frustrated with the kids.

*Be more intentional with a certain blog I write.

*Be an intentional encourager!

*Ask God to speak to/through me.

Let me know if God speaks to you, if you have a word for the year ahead, or ask me about my list...

"Now may the God of peace...

 equip you with everything good for doing his will, and may he work in us what is pleasing to him, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory for ever and ever." Hebrews 13v20-21