Sugar & Spice & All Things Nice

I'm a mum to boys and a mum to girls. Some of it is exactly the same, and some is different. One of the differences has to be just simply the smell. Sure all nappies smell the same, and each sticker-giving deposit in the potty. But apart from that, boys seem to have a certain whiff about them which I'm sure girls don't have. Maybe I'm just biased. After all, us girls smell of sugar and spice, and all things nice. It's hard to pinpoint the origin of the 'boy smell', maybe it's a combination of things. The boys have cans of Lynx which they spray around their rooms, which beautifully adds to the freshness. 

Another difference is that the girls in my house watch me. They watch me put deodorant on. They watch me moisturise. They watch me put make up on. They watch me put my earrings in. The boys do not notice these things. That may be a stereotype, but that's literally the truth in my house. They watch me re-fill the snack drawer! This week, one of my daughters watched me put some perfume on, and she asked if she could have some. I told her to spray her neck and her wrists, rub them together and then smell them. She said it was a pretty smell. 

I told her there was perfume in the Bible, and my daughter looked quizzically at me. 

"A woman in that town who lived a sinful life learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house, so she came there with an alabaster jar of perfume. As she stood behind him at his feet weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears. Then she wiped them with her hair, kissed them and poured perfume on them". 

I explained, as best I could to a four year old, that when this lady poured perfume on Jesus, she was actually worshipping him. My daughter thought that worship was just singing, and even as an adult I sometimes still get caught up in this thinking. I explained that worship was actually how we live our lives, and that any choice we make which is a God choice, is worship. 

Whether or not she fully understood, doesn't actually matter, because I have all her days in my house to speak into her life. I asked her who she could be kind to today, and I said that being kind to people was like spraying perfume on them. Kindness is a godly choice and therefore it was worship to Him, especially if she was kind to people who didn't deserve it. 
At this point, she chose a sibling she could be kind to. Obviously the 'not deserving it' bit struck a chord with her.

It was a great visual throughout the day, for her to be reminded of. And a nicer tactic for me to use, rather than the normal, 'stop winding your brother up'. She continued to smell the perfume on her wrists. The only problem was that the visual stuck with me. Any time I was a bit snappy with the kids or grumbly towards the husband, I just had a little nudge as to whether I was spraying perfume on the people in my house, or indeed throwing a whole other smell at them; whether I was bringing worship to God with my actions, or in fact not.

Mmm...tricky with this training malarkey, because the little people in my life, don't just watch me put perfume on, they watch to see if I live a life of pleasing aroma to God; a life of worship.

Piles

Earlier this week, my mum and dad came down for a visit. This usually means they arrive around lunchtime, and dad will quickly say, “I could die of thirst here”, which is sarcastic code for ‘make me a cup of tea’. I let him off, partly because I'm pretty used to it now, and also because him and mum take me and their granddaughters out for lunch. We went out for cake, and then down to the beach, where it’s customary to throw pebbles in the sea.

I found myself finding a few small, smooth pebbles to bring home. A couple of days later, I read my friend’s blog which happened to mention two men building a ‘pile of stones’ as a witness to their agreement. Of course the stones, weren’t actually a ‘witness’, they didn’t have Googly Eyes on them, as funny as that would be. But they were symbolic of remembering something. A symbol of something known between them, and seen by God.

I decided to put my new little pile of stones on the kitchen windowsill, to remind me in the midst of my busy life that they were symbolic of what is seen and known between me and God, and because they looked kind of cute. As I took a picture of them, I was struck by what was in the background of the picture; all the other ‘stuff’ on my windowsill and then I took another picture of the windowsill in its own little place in my kitchen. And my brain went into overdrive.

There it all was, my life as a mum, captured in one shot: Piles!

There was a box of plasters, a bottle of Calpol, a Basil plant, a home-made money box in the shape of a heart, a small screw driver for battery replacement, Superglue, a thank you card, Sunflower seeds growing in a 4year old’s painted pot, a home-made lady bird, a small plastic thing which looked important enough to not throw away, a plate of painted pebbles, stained Cricket whites, breakfast bowls, a Minion mug, a dish cloth, antibacterial hand wash, pink paint and a paintbrush. Oh and a giant lemon vase filled with shot glasses, a candle, a sticky man, a dummy, a stretchy exercise band and a home-made candle.

I think I’m quite a visual person, and that helps me teach my kids, about God and what His Bible means for us. The Bible itself often has imagery for us to paint a picture in our minds, although we do need someone who has studied it, to help us get to the writer’s meaning.

From my windowsill, I could teach my little people that God binds up the broken hearted, that he came to heal the sick, that he cares about our money, that he does have the ability to fix our problems, although he may instead work on our heart. Also, that we need replenishing, that God sticks close by us haha, that it’s good to be grateful, lots of things about how He grows us, and creativity. I could teach into the sin & stains in our life, and how Jesus’ death has made us white as snow. Maybe how God feeds us and that we need to feed those who are hungry. Also that Jesus is the light of the world, that He brings us comfort, that there is power in the Spirit. About how we should exercise our giftings and look after our bodies. I would have to stretch the imagery, or use Google as a companion, to bring a teaching point out of the Basil, maybe something about flavour. And as for the Minion, my little people would just keep saying "bottom" and we wouldn't get much further than that.

The home-made stuff is a reminder for me, of how they and I were lovingly made and formed by God, and that what I teach them in this household is what they are made of as they grow up and live their own lives.

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise”. Deuteronomy 6v6-7

I’m sure the husband would rather I just tidy it all up, and chuck all the home-made stuff in the bin. Maybe I could take this symbolism even further and give him a really good reason as to why the Tupperware drawer looks like a Bric a Brac table at a Jumble sale.

It's Gone Viral

Every so often, something goes viral. In my house at the moment, it's Chicken Pox. Someone gets it, then it spirals until everyone gets it. There's just no stopping it. 
My daughter was pleased that she caught it from her best friend, so they could be Chicken Pox twins. (That's a real thing, for sure). Then there's the Internet.... People tweet something, someone else shares it on social media, it's talked about, people Youtube it, it's re-shared and it's an instant hit. The best one recently was of course, Professor Robert E Kelly. He was interrupted by his children while he was live on air, in a BBC interview about South Korean politics. 

Everything about the video is brilliant; the sassy way the little girl walks into the room, followed by the expert navigating of a baby in a walker, and then of course the dramatic entrance from the mum....Ninja Mum who had one job, one massive job; 'entertain two kids while dad has his important interview, and do not let them enter the spare bedroom where he is trying to look professional'. 
And it doesn't end there...then comes the scuffle of mum, sassy girl and baby walker leaving the room, in a panicked, crying, flustered, bumpy way, followed by mum's final reach from the ground to close the door.

Hahaha I loved it! I watched it numerous times, feeling dad's embarrassment, and mum's sheer panic. I love how dad takes a breath and closes his eyes, knowing there's nothing he can do, and I love the physical comedy from mum. Why do I love it so much? Because it is so real, and I just feel for them. I presume most parents can relate to them. It's messy. It's not as it should be. It's an honest look into parenting. I feel that the video should be shown to every NCT class...'This is you, trying to get on with your life...and this will be your reality'. 
I think it would do wonders for new parents and their expectations.

Parenting is wonderful. It is a true blessing. But it's hard work. And it interferes with your life. It challenges your heart, your wants, your needs. It tests your patience like nothing else. It makes you question who you are. It makes you realise how selfish you are. At the same time, it makes you realise how you'd give up anything for the little people in your life. It can be painful, embarrassing, confusing, stressful, repetitive and sooooo tiring.

Sometimes you have to stop and remember the wonderful blessing that it is.

The thing about this video is that it is just a 40 second snapshot. Whereas, parenting is a life long deal. The current magnitude of this viral hit, is actually a blink in the timeline of this couple's parenting. Yes it will be a well told one. 'Remember that time dad went viral on the internet?'. But the thing about parenting, is that we hopefully have hours and hours, weeks, months and years. This could be daunting, or it could be encouraging. 

If we got it wrong in the last 5 minutes, we can make it right in the next 5 minutes. If we said things we regret last week, we can say sorry and aim to use words which build up this week. If we felt stressed about that problem last month, we can look at the month ahead with new hope even if the problem hasn't changed. If we're tired and covered in Calamine lotion today, maybe next week it'll all scab over! If the kids interrupted dad on that important BBC interview yesterday, we can laugh about it today. Sometimes our kids may well be interrupting our life, our priorities for the day. But our parenting of them has to be a top priority. We have to let them swing open the door of our lives, and walk confidently in.

There is a passage in the Bible, which talks about there being a "time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;" Ecclesiastes 3v3-4

This is so encouraging for parenting. I sometimes feel like I've got the hang of something to do with my kids, and then they change or it doesn't work with the next child, or it's as if I never had a hang of it at all. And then there will be a huge problem that I have no idea how to handle, but the season changes and I can cope with it better or the child responds well. Or maybe a friend brings perspective, or God's word brings new hope. It's all a mystery this parenting malarkey. But surely we're in it for the long haul, so we go again tomorrow. We accept the fleeting bits as fleeting, and we accept the long haul bits as they are, while showing and receiving God's grace along the way. He after all, is the perfect parent. We're not, and that's OK. 

We can walk into our Father's presence, with all the sass in the world, confidently approaching His throne of Grace and equally we can scramble into His presence in a complete panic. We take time to weep about it all, time to laugh about it all, and we ask God to help us find His strength, His mercy, and His guidance for tomorrow or at least for the next two minutes. 




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