Pride Before a Fall

I woke up yesterday morning under a Lightening McQueen duvet with a three year old, a number of teddy bears, a turkey and Sherrif Woody. It seems I had left my own warm place of sleep at 4am and attempted to snuggle into a single bed with my son, in order to stop getting up to his unsettled night. Surely it was easier to be in bed with him, being kneed and sleepily punched than settling in my own bed, to be woken up again in order to make the long hard journey back to his room...again!

My boys are allowed out of their room at 7:00am. But seeing as we had had friends stay over the night before, in the lounge, I thought it would be good to bless them with undisturbed sleep until 8am. We talked about how it was selfless to put their sleep before our need to play or watch some morning tele, and even before my coffee. So we read some books and I tried to play as many "laying down under a duvet" games as I could think of. Then just before 8am, I grabbed a training opportunity with my oldest;

Me; "What if we go downstairs and say 'we really blessed you, we got up at 7am but didn't disturb you until 8am, so you could sleep some more, that means we are selfless, doesn't it?'"
Number 1 son; "That would be pride mum."
So tired teaching point made, we headed downstairs to gently jump on our guests. The husband joined us an hour or so later for breakfast. And what do I hear myself saying when the husband professed how tired he was... "Well I slept in our son's bed from 4am and was up with the boys from 7am, but I didn't disturb you until 9am." 
Aarrgh, all I could hear was my son's words; "That would be pride mum".
                                             

 "Where there is strife, 

   there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

     Proverbs13v10

I had not allowed theses verses to take root. Strife had come about because I wanted the husband to know how great I was. I hadn't listened to my own advice, advice about being selfless, and humble. Not my own advice actually, It was straight out of the Bible, straight from Jesus' example. Thankfully, the husband was full of grace, (maybe it was the extra sleep he had had). 

Have I really got time to Be Still?

This morning I've dished out three different types of cereal, with slightly frozen milk and 2 different aged Calpol. I ran out of bread so sent a child to school with a hot cross bun and a cheese string. I've changed a wet bed, taken a truck out of the toilet and defrosted what I hope is fish soup for the husband's lunch.

I've changed a nappy, found some clean-ish uniform out of a pile by the bathroom door, and brushed some teeth (not even my own). I dressed a jumpy laughing three year old, found some gloves for a cold little person, smiled graciously as I released the husband to have a shower during breakfast time, done the first level of the breakfast clear up (table surface level) and fit a door back onto a moon buggy. And it's only 9:15am. 

I'm reminded that myself and a bunch of very real, wonderful, godly, shattered women that I pray with on Wednesday mornings were going to look at some Psalms this week. So I think about my morning so far, and I think about verse 10 of Psalm 46; "Be still and know that I am God...."

I smile an ironic little smile, but decide to sit down and read a Psalm or two, before starting on the next level of the breakfast clear up (beneath the table, the level which if left untouched results in me either treading in mashed weetabix, usually bare foot, or where the baby will deem himself a hoover).

So I start reading Psalm 62 which starts; "For God alone my soul waits in silence...". And I realise that I am of course reading this while my son is pressing the buttons on his fire engine, so all I can loudly hear is "FIRE...EMERGENCY...FIRE" followed by that wonderful fire engine siren noise. So pleased I replaced the batteries. Another son is listening to his hideous plastic Christmas present which is singing The Fimbles theme tune. Maybe these Psalms aren't relevant to me. They're all about stillness and silence. I persevere with Psalm 62, seeing as I've made the decision to sit and do so, rather than rush on.

                        "For God alone my soul waits in silence;
                         from him comes my salvation.
                         He only is my rock and my salvation,
                         my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

                         Trust in him at all times O people;
                         pour out your heart before him;
                         God is a refuge for us."

                         "God is our refuge and strength,
                          a very present help in times of trouble.
                          Be still and know that I am God.
                          I will be exalted among the nations,
                          I will be exalted in the earth!
                          The Lord of hosts is with us;
                          the God of Jacob is our fortress."

I'm glad I made the decision to sit, because I realised that in the stopping and sitting, the stillness and silence came to my soul. As I took in this truth, the truth that I am saved from my sin, that I have a fortress to run into, that I'm not easily shaken, and that I have a refuge, I felt more able to breathe and actually hear God's voice speaking over me. As I read that He is my strength and I don't have to be, I was able to be still and know Him. And even when I start on the next level of the breakfast clear up, that truth stays with me in the crazy and in the noise of life. Maybe that's why the Psalmist wrote them. They suddenly seem ever so relevant to me. Looks like I haven't got time not to Be still....

My Not So New Year’s Resolutions

I started the year by thinking about what resolutions I should make for 2011…

eat less chocolate,  no puddings-just fruit,  don’t be a nag or a drippy tap, make healthy nutritional meals for the kids, be “Fun Mum” all year round,  exercise more, read the bible every day…. etc etc.

But I didn’t entertain these ideas for long because...

Crème eggs were already in the shops (and on offer), puddings with fruit in the title are surely acceptable, like a good Apple Strudel, meatballs and pasta only takes 12minutes and costs 43p, fun mum is tired and doesn’t want to make a pasta picture or a crocodile shoe box, surely the school ‘run’ is exercise (even if it is by car), and I’d read my bible if I could find it…

So this year, mine are simple.

Practically live out the wise words found in Proverbs 3v5-6, in each and every situation I find myself in.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

     and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

   and he will make straight your paths.”

Oh, and write a blog...