Have I really got time to Be Still?

This morning I've dished out three different types of cereal, with slightly frozen milk and 2 different aged Calpol. I ran out of bread so sent a child to school with a hot cross bun and a cheese string. I've changed a wet bed, taken a truck out of the toilet and defrosted what I hope is fish soup for the husband's lunch.

I've changed a nappy, found some clean-ish uniform out of a pile by the bathroom door, and brushed some teeth (not even my own). I dressed a jumpy laughing three year old, found some gloves for a cold little person, smiled graciously as I released the husband to have a shower during breakfast time, done the first level of the breakfast clear up (table surface level) and fit a door back onto a moon buggy. And it's only 9:15am. 

I'm reminded that myself and a bunch of very real, wonderful, godly, shattered women that I pray with on Wednesday mornings were going to look at some Psalms this week. So I think about my morning so far, and I think about verse 10 of Psalm 46; "Be still and know that I am God...."

I smile an ironic little smile, but decide to sit down and read a Psalm or two, before starting on the next level of the breakfast clear up (beneath the table, the level which if left untouched results in me either treading in mashed weetabix, usually bare foot, or where the baby will deem himself a hoover).

So I start reading Psalm 62 which starts; "For God alone my soul waits in silence...". And I realise that I am of course reading this while my son is pressing the buttons on his fire engine, so all I can loudly hear is "FIRE...EMERGENCY...FIRE" followed by that wonderful fire engine siren noise. So pleased I replaced the batteries. Another son is listening to his hideous plastic Christmas present which is singing The Fimbles theme tune. Maybe these Psalms aren't relevant to me. They're all about stillness and silence. I persevere with Psalm 62, seeing as I've made the decision to sit and do so, rather than rush on.

                        "For God alone my soul waits in silence;
                         from him comes my salvation.
                         He only is my rock and my salvation,
                         my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

                         Trust in him at all times O people;
                         pour out your heart before him;
                         God is a refuge for us."

                         "God is our refuge and strength,
                          a very present help in times of trouble.
                          Be still and know that I am God.
                          I will be exalted among the nations,
                          I will be exalted in the earth!
                          The Lord of hosts is with us;
                          the God of Jacob is our fortress."

I'm glad I made the decision to sit, because I realised that in the stopping and sitting, the stillness and silence came to my soul. As I took in this truth, the truth that I am saved from my sin, that I have a fortress to run into, that I'm not easily shaken, and that I have a refuge, I felt more able to breathe and actually hear God's voice speaking over me. As I read that He is my strength and I don't have to be, I was able to be still and know Him. And even when I start on the next level of the breakfast clear up, that truth stays with me in the crazy and in the noise of life. Maybe that's why the Psalmist wrote them. They suddenly seem ever so relevant to me. Looks like I haven't got time not to Be still....