The Other Husband (Part Two)

...continued from Part One

So the husband may at times be in a different zone to me and the boys. He may be physically busy or mentally busy. He may find himself ill, the kind of ill where you have to keep bringing him toast in bed. And ask the boys to play secret agents in an attempt to keep them quiet so he can sleep. He may be tired. He may be working late or away from home. He may have done a hard day's work and need some downtime. He may be serving someone else. And sometimes he may just not notice my needs or meet my expectations.

God's grace is available for all such ocassions. But I am only able to show grace if I am dwelling in My Beloved's presence, experiencing His grace, His word and His truth. At times, I don't do this though. Instead I attempt to show the husband 'my grace', in place of God's grace. My grace quickly forgets, and quickly runs out, and is actually downright selfish and isn't really grace at all!

In our early married days, in these moments I would go quiet on the husband. I've stopped that now after he brought to my attention that it felt like I was punishing him. Or I would say all was fine, and give a smile. But it was ever so fake, and we both could see that. (We once watched a film, where FINE was an acronym for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional, which pretty much summed it all up!). God in His grace, over the years has used many ways to show me how I can live in the good of that grace and let it affect all my relationships.

This includes how I relate to the husband. Do I only love him when he is being all that I need him to be, when he's meeting all my expectations? Do I only love him because I want to be loved in return? Do I only love him when he is ticking all the boxes? Do I only love him when he is well, and energetic and attentive? Do I only love him when he is helping out with the boys? Or do I love him unconditionally, like the vows I took, said I would? Do I love him with a selfless love? Do I love him with the unconditional love that Jesus has modelled to me? Do I want my boys to see examples of selfless and unconditional love? Do I remember that God's grace is sufficient for me even when I haven't done any of this? Mmm...time to delve deeper into God's grace and go love the husband.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

                                                            John 15v12

"Love is patient, love is kind.

       It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

      it keeps no record of  wrongs. 

 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

       It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.."

                                                           1 Corinthians 13v4-8