Ebenezer, not Scrooge

We all ate together for breakfast this morning, a planned rare occassion. We mainly aim instead, to get our dinners together as a family, wherever possible. When life was normal (if we can remember back then) some needed breakfast at 6:45am and others at 8am, so as a result, breakfasts are rarely eaten together in our house. (Maybe we could change this for lockdowns going forward, as we might not get the opportunity again). 

So we let the late sleepers sleep in a bit, said there would be orange juice (a rare treat) and planned to do/watch church a little later. As they all came into the kitchen, I explained that the meals of today could be related to a slightly obscure tower in the Bible, and asked if they could guess which one. They are totally used to this, and probably occassionaly bored by it. Less so, when food is involved of course, the fickle beings that they are. God's word, the Bible literally says the following...

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up". Deuteronomy 6v5-7

So, I have taken the words 'impress them on your children' as 'feed them to your children'. Some of my meals in this area have gone well, and it's very obvious what the story or Bible teaching is, and some have been far reaching, with one or two that were quite scary looking. You can check them out on one of my insta pages here. One day I'll stick them in a recipe book; the good, the bad and the ugly because I want to keep encouraging mums to find new ways to teach their kids about God's love for them, and because some are just hilarious. 

Anyway, their answers started coming. 'Tower of Babel', 'the tower of fire and cloud of smoke or something',

 'that tower where God changed languages', 'the leaning tower of Piza', 'the tower of Bethlehem', 'the tower to Heaven', 'the tower they marched around seven times'. Some of their answers were vaguely Biblical, some were simply not. But instead my answer was more obscure. It was a stone which Samuel had laid down to remember that God had helped His people even after they had sinned against Him, an Ebenezer. It was to remember His goodness, to be grateful for His rescue, His help again. 

A quick visual of the tower in Moana to help it sink in, and then we went round the table and said one thing that was good even during this lockdown, an Ebenezer of our own. One child said, 'online learning' met with an eye roll from a sibling. One said, 'time with my siblings', met with an unidentifiable murmer from someone else. There seemed to be a Scrooge amonst the Ebenezers. One child really couldn't think of anything, so had to be reminded of a good moment or two. One said, 'yesterday's family walk', which took all my self control not to say, 'Ha, told you it would be good'. One said, 'having school provision at this time'. One said, 'coming 2nd in the Kahoot quiz'. I said I liked it when we were altogether eating, no pressure to do anything. One said, 'this breakfast' because that's literally as far back as they can think. 

There was a moment when one of the teens asked for more, and I suggested that the mountain of Eggy bread that I had made was enough. His quick response of, "Aint no mountain high enough",  got him an extra batch made. 

It was nice, an important thing to keep doing. We ate a tower of Eggy Bread, a tower of waffles and a tower of meatballs. The eldest even said he was full, and that I had beaten him through the power of eggy bread. This is a huge compliment. This shall be my Ebenezer today. 

Shape of You

A Vlog and a Blog today! It's because I have just so much spare time lately, what with all these kids at home, home learning and buidling relationship with each other and with me...although to be fair, a product of Lockdown is that your evenings are free!

I had a little window to do a Vlog, after a stressy tearful hour multiplying various numbers. I stayed in the girls' room, sat on the floor amidst Barbies, a Spa set up, and a discarded whiteboard of sums. I was hiding, and hoping no one needed me. The girls had been released to put a screen on, and I was hoping and trusting that the boys were somewhere on a lesson.

In the quiet, I was reminded that last week I felt God speaking to me about Him shaping me. Him shaping me instead of circumstance, Him shaping me instead of Lockdown, Him shaping me instead of HomeLearning. It was just thoughts I was thinking, so it was hard to know if it was God speaking. Then someone shared in a Devotional video about people letting the life of Jesus shape them. I was also struck by the different things you can shape; character, eyebrows, a beard, converstaion, creative decisions to name a few. And for me, if it's a reoccurring whisper or nudge, or kick up the bum and it lines up with the Bible, I try to take my fingers out my ears and listen, in case it's God whispering.

Feel free to watch the Vlog. Anyway, as a result of the subject of 'being shaped', I made some biscuit dough and explained to the girls that God shapes us, if we allow Him to. As I was teaching them, I suggested they shape their own biscuits to get an idea of God shaping them. I explained that God didn't use a cookie cutter when He made them. He didn't make them exactly like other people. He made them unique, and if they listen to God's best for their lives, He will shape them from the inside out. I explained that God shapes us through His Word, the Bible, through church or Kids TV, through us as their parents, through worship, and through the wisdom of others. Or they could choose instead to allow themselves to be shaped by those around them, their circumstances, movies they watch, TV, and as they get older Social Media. 

We discussed how absurd it is that Barbie's physical "perfection" could shape their thinking, even though she is both unreal and unrealistic and how God instead wants to shape them from the inside; their heart, their emotions, their thoughts, their moral thinking, their conscience. (Barbie comes up a lot in our teaching moments). 

The girls shaped their biscuits, and wondered what God was thinking when He designed them and shaped them. We wondered which parts He spent longer on, which parts made Him smile, which parts seemed annoying or confusing right now, but might grow into something different, which parts God might use in the future, which parts of us were like parts of Him, which parts He thought were the best parts of us, which characteristics He chose uniquely for us. And we ate cookie dough whilst doing so.

I was struck by the picture I had taken, of the things which surrounded the girls while they were shaping their biscuits. I mean some mums may have cleared the whole table before embarking on baking, but one of the benefits of a table that sits eight people every day, is that there is always a little space that can be made, in amongst the mayhem. The photo includes things that literally have potential to shape me... caffiene, chocolate spread, sheer mess, home learning, the future worries (well an empty 2021 diary), the TV controller, and stuff I listen to. I'm not sure the fish, German phrases and a poster on Puberty will shape me too much. But as always when teaching the kids, there seems a lot for me to learn too.

"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature". Genesis 2v7

"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand". Isaiah 64v8

An Hour in the Life of Home Learning...

*7:45am - Wake the boys up

*Check on the girls who are downstairs watching TV. Try to work out how long they've been downstairs watching TV. (Be mindful of mums with little ones who can't put the TV on yet)

*Put the kettle on for a cuppa, and for a hot water bottle

*Turn on and log into old laptop (Argument Avoider)

*Make cuppa and put hot water bottle on the sofa to apease and warm a grumpy morning   child

*Turn on and log into newer laptop. Find charger for said laptop, and plug it in before child   needs it. (Time Wasting Avoider)

*Wake boys up round two

*Put bowls, spoons, cereal, milk and sugar on the table. (Time Wasting Avoider)

*Be disappointed with yesterday's you for running out of milk

*Find dressed child to send to shops for milk with a 10p bribe (Be mindful of mums with little   ones who can't go get milk yet)

*Congratulate yesterday's you for putting the dishwasher on last night

*Wake the boys up round three - this time with a little encouragement about education and a little something about independence and leaving them to it if they don't get up

*Turn on PC, get notebook and pens ready (Argument Avoider)

*Ask the littlest member of the house if she is going to wear more than pants and a mermaid blanket for her home learning

*Make toast for a small army 

*Child asks what's for dinner

*Be disappointed with yesterday's you for not defrosting the chicken

*Answer 'Pesto Pasta'

*Again?

*Yes!

*Yes you're aware of the one who doesn't like Pesto

*Clear away cereal and toast

*Wonder why so many plates, even with this many kids

*Welcome child back home with milk, don't tell them the milk wasn't needed

*Mentally tick off a walk, fresh air and money maths for that child

*Decide you care more about the boys' education than their independence and wake boys up, round four

*Turn their light on and open window widely

*Loudly remind household that lessons start in 10minutes

*Scroll through emails to find log on details

*Ask a boy who is awake to help a sibling log in

*Get cereal back out for boy who has finally got up and wants to know where the breakfast is

*Keep mouth shut

*Thankfully there is milk

*Turn TV off, explaining that although that child doesn't have a lesson yet, it doesn't serve the house to have it on

*Not even for a little bit

*Not even on mute

*Find headphones for little person in her mermaid blanket

*Tell her she'd be less cold if she put clothes on 

*Walk away (Argument Avoider)

*Find iPhone adapter cable for headphones

*Be grateful that headphones were on two people's Christmas lists

*Put the kettle on because you forgot to drink your tea

*Wake the last boy up who has a later start

*Explain that he hasn't got much time, but you'll make him toast (Time Waster Avoider)

*Listen to him explain that you should have woken him up sooner

*Keep those lips tightly closed

*See child that found hot water bottle, and know that he's probably grateful on the inside

*See if everyone is where they should be and doing what they're meant to do

*Don't answer the question, 'where else would I be?'

*Encourage the pant wearing mermaid girl back to her seat

*Remind her it's not cartwheel time

*Ask the one who hasn't got a lesson, to read

*Spend time looking for book

*Say yes to colouring instead

*Say no to colouring whilst wearing Heelies to skate in the kitchen

*Find charger for child who is old enough to take care of his own equipment

*Go to child who cannot hear the teacher

*Take headphones out and put them back in again

*Log off lesson

*Scroll through emails to find log in details

*Log back into lesson

*Realise that the headphones had just been turned down

*Lips closed

*Go to child who says their lesson is boring

*Encourage them to push through because it's been   7minutes

*Go to child who says the internet isn't working

*Log out and in again

*Say no to snacks, because they've just had toast

*Drink luke warm tea

*Find a pen for child whose pen isn't working

*Remind child where spare pens are

*Be amused at hearing a teacher say, "I'm just going to turn off the chat function now" (Be mindful of, and forever grateful for teachers)

*Ask house to be quiet for a child who has to speak Spanish to his class

*Ask house to not pretend they can all speak Spanish

*Ask child who is singing to not

*Say no to snacks 

*Ask child who is commenting outloud on everything he is doing, to not

*Put thumb up to child who just had their name mentioned

*Hope it was for a good reason

*Hear child asking Alexa for the answer to a maths question

*Realise Alexa is your new TA (Be mindful of Teaching Assisstants who know every child individually)

*Say yes to water for one child

*Then get water for subsequent other children

*Remind them about liquids and computers

*Remind yourself we have rules for reasons

*Remind yourself to just let it go, and get through this

*See if everyone is where they should be and doing what they're meant to do

*Celebrate when they are

*Explain to a child that they cannot take a photo of their work to email to their teacher because their sibling has your phone for a lesson

*Explain that they are not the priority

*Explain what 'rummaging' means to a child

*Give an example of rummaging through the bin if you'd thrown something away by mistake

*Go to child who has your phone because someone is ringing

*Hang up phone

*Lesson has been logged off due to phone call

*Scroll through emails to find log in details

*Log child back in

*Phone rings again, cutting child off from lesson

*Explain to the husband that he cannot ring you at 8:30, 9:30,10:30,11:30, 12:30, 1:30 or 2:30 

*Tell him you will see him in February, maybe 

*Hear that a child has been asked a question by the teacher

*Child shouts about rummaging through a bin

*Shouting because they're wearing noise cancelling headphones

*Other child tells shouting child to be quiet

*Give a thumbs up to the child who was shouting

*Say 'I know' to the child who was annoyed at shouting child

*Nod when child asks if I heard them give their answer

*Go to text a friend 

*Realise phone is in use at 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 11;30, 12:30, 1:30 and 2:30

*Realise you can never text a friend again

*Have friends again in February, maybe

*Ask a child why they are no longer on a lesson

*They have a break at 9:30

*Realise other child should have started their lesson at 9:30

*Scroll through emails to find log in details

*Log child in with different username

*Say no to a snack

*Still no, even if child is starving

*Start getting 11am snacks ready 

*Change no to not yet

*Realise phone is nearly out of battery

*Move child to awkward position to learn   where phone can be charged at the same time

*Realise phone cannot be charged while   headphones are in

*Move child to another room so they can hear   their lesson outloud (Argument Avoider from   child that can hear their lesson)

*Move other child to PC to do their home learning after their live lesson

*Watch them log in wrong because they can do it by themselves

*Not so patiently do it for them

*Agree with them that their teacher is probably better at this

*Explain there is no need for tears

*Say yes you will change your tone

*Walk away (Argument Avoider)

*Get called back before you get to the kitchen

*This work needs help with

*Other child calls for help

*Prioritise the one that said they were the priority

*Release the little one to start a Barbie shop

*Despair a little

*Hide in the toilet to wee

*To pray

*To breathe

*Ask child to just wait a minute

*Ask other child to just wait a minute

*Rather firmly say "I just want to wee in peace"

*Thank child for reminder about your tone

*Go to scroll socials on phone

*Realise your phone is no longer yours

*Just got to get through the 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, 1:30 and 2:30 slots

*Or not

"There is a time for everything,

    and a season for every activity under the heavens". Ecclesiastes 3v1

Mouth to Mouth

A friend of mine shared a memory this week, of when she had said to her child that if they didn't go to sleep, they wouldn't be able to watch Cbeebies the next morning. Instant regret! Because us mothers know that Cbeebies is one of the best babysitters out there, especially in the mornings where there's the possibility of getting an extra 5mins in bed. And of course, it didn't work, so it was a painful morning all round the next day. (Although I must add, the fact that she stuck to it, was a parenting win). 

What comes out of our mouths can be a real mixture, or at least for me it is. With our mouths, we can speak life, and encouragment to our kids, and those around us. Our mouths can bring challenge, and perspective. Our mouths can speak the good of the gospel, hope-filled and truth-filled. Also our mouths can tear down, or cause upset, especially with a classic case of 'speaking before thinking'. Many a regretted comment has come out of my mouth, comments that I wish had stayed put and not ventured out of my lips. It's worse for those of us who speak a little more than others! 

This week, I managed some "top parenting" when I was cross with one of my children. I asked them what they were thinking after I had just told them off. They then had the audacity to actually tell me what they were thinking. I therefore told them off again and sent them to their dad. Their dad ageeed that I may have overreacted...that I may have invited a response without being ready to hear a response. (When one is calm, this is actually a really useful tool, having your child tell you what they're thinking during a discussion. When one is not so calm, it's probably best avoided). 

Sometimes it's better to keep the mouth closed altogether. Wearing a mask daily, is a good reminder to guard what we say. (I should probably start wearing mine at home to help this process). Other times its best, right even, to open it, and speak up. 

It's worth mentioning too, that we often remember just as keenly, the negative speech spoken towards us and over us, as well as the life giving words. I remember a teacher of mine saying she looked forward to reading my written work, my essays, because she found them humorous and enjoyable. I want my speech to have the same long-lasting affect that her words have had on me, on those around me but especially those inside my household. 

I think as a mum, we have real power to speak joy into our homes. (Often we can open our mouths and somehow inadvertantly manage to stick our foot completely in it. At times with teenagers for example, it doesn't matter what is said, it's received how they want to hear it). Thankfully the mouth can and must be used to say we are sorry, as well as using itto  offer grace and forgiveness.

Words uttered can also cause eyebrows to be raised or laughter to follow, especially if you are trying to be serious at the time. I have four boys, so usually it all goes to pot, if balls or nuts are mentioned, even in the loosest of terms. They can't seem to help themselves, and it's only made worse if I try to clarify what I mean. I tend to roll my eyes and walk away at this point. But today, I outdid myself....

The male child species can sometimes be seen puffing out their chest. I guess they are marking their territory (definately better than peeing in the corner). Sometimes they are proving they are the Alpha male. Sometimes it's simply because I have already banned them from touching each other, so it's their way of still annoying their sibling. One of those grey areas that kids find. 

Today after one such display, I heard myself saying to two of them, "You know who has the biggest chest around here? I do. My chest is the biggest. And when you're puffing yours out, you're actually competing with me, and you wont win". Needless to say, the two boys gaffawed their way up the stairs in hysterics, and the moment was dispersed. 

Now for some kind of godly wrap up, to finish this post.... 

The Bible says A LOT about what comes out of our mouths. Here's a link to 100 verses on the subject, should you really want to study it. But I'll highlight just a couple.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body". Proverbs 16v24

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear". Ephesians 4v29

New Year, New You (or Not)

It's a new year, Whoop Whoop! 2020 can do one! 

It's 2021...anything can happen... the world's our oyster... new year, new you.... Gotta be in it to win it... fresh start... new year's resolutions... open a new chapter... life begins... adventure awaits... new beginnings... when one door closes, another one opens... 

But of course, we're all a bit shattered and worn down, by the previous year, so actually we would rather curl up under the duvet, than tentatively see what is behind Door Number '21. We'd rather not open a new chapter, as we're a bit shocked by the one we just lived through. How can we look forward to a fresh start when the world is feeling pretty stale?! Instead of fresh air, weve got our own musty masked breath to breathe in. It's hard to think about the newness of life, when we're actually faced with the reality of death and loss. Adventure itself, has been whittled down to, "I got pasta today", and the new me, is simply just the same old me, just a bit slower, and lonlier, and no one actually likes Oysters!

Well, that was a quick turn of emotion from hope to despair. But I think sometimes that can be what is wrong with new year's resolutions; they promise so much, and then disappointment creeps in, either through circumstance or in my case, a sheer lack of discipline. The husband has always been a Monday person... he loves the hope and fresh start that a Monday brings. He owns it. It's his for the taking. It's a blank canvas. Anything can happen, and he actually plans for it to happen, and sees it through, so it does indeed happen. I've always admired this about him, (shh don't tell him) but admired it from a distance, whilst avoiding him on these days in case he inspires me.

I made a vlog the morning of New Year's Day, on my own, out of the house, in a car park with a cuppa, watching people out on cold walks. (Side note, some people have excellent coats, like sleeping bags with a hole for the legs, and some people's dogs are better warmed than I am). Anyway, I guess I felt a glimmer of 'newness' on that morning. I dropped my son off to his Pops' house, to walk a few hours over the Downs, back to our house. (Thankfully only two people can walk together presently, otherwise they may have invited me, and no one needs that much inspiration on the first day of a new year). I took my new Lou Felli journal with me, in the hope of a bit of me time, a bit of reflection, maybe to start the year with a bit of intentionality, and I ended up doing a vlog saying all that I guess. Took seven minutes to say what you can write in one sentence.

And regardless of whether you're a fresh Monday person, or a stale Saturday kind of person, the thing that we all have to come back to, is Scipture. I'm not very good at consistently reading my Bible. Maybe this year will be different, maybe it wont. I've read two out of the three days from the Bible reading plan, so that's over 60% success so far. However, I have read enough of the Bible over the years (obviously you can never read 'enough' of it), to know that the Bible does talk a lot about newness. It talks a whole load about being weary, resting and needing strengthening too...

But newness is up there, simply and quite astonishingly because of what Jesus has done. Whether you're feeling inspired for the new year ahead, or you're crawling through with the burdens of last year on your back, Jesus remains the same. And He came to restore, to refresh and to rescue. He came to bring His new mercies, to make us a new creation, to give us new birth, to secure a new hope, to gift us with a new heart, so we may live a new way, and live in the goodness of a new life; a life with Him. And that is always a good place to start.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 1 Peter 1v3

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 corinthians 5v17

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36v26

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3v13-14

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43v18-19

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
they are *new every morning; great is your faithfulness. lamentations 3v22-23

*Matt Redman '(Mercies) New Every Morning'