Mouth to Mouth

A friend of mine shared a memory this week, of when she had said to her child that if they didn't go to sleep, they wouldn't be able to watch Cbeebies the next morning. Instant regret! Because us mothers know that Cbeebies is one of the best babysitters out there, especially in the mornings where there's the possibility of getting an extra 5mins in bed. And of course, it didn't work, so it was a painful morning all round the next day. (Although I must add, the fact that she stuck to it, was a parenting win). 

What comes out of our mouths can be a real mixture, or at least for me it is. With our mouths, we can speak life, and encouragment to our kids, and those around us. Our mouths can bring challenge, and perspective. Our mouths can speak the good of the gospel, hope-filled and truth-filled. Also our mouths can tear down, or cause upset, especially with a classic case of 'speaking before thinking'. Many a regretted comment has come out of my mouth, comments that I wish had stayed put and not ventured out of my lips. It's worse for those of us who speak a little more than others! 

This week, I managed some "top parenting" when I was cross with one of my children. I asked them what they were thinking after I had just told them off. They then had the audacity to actually tell me what they were thinking. I therefore told them off again and sent them to their dad. Their dad ageeed that I may have overreacted...that I may have invited a response without being ready to hear a response. (When one is calm, this is actually a really useful tool, having your child tell you what they're thinking during a discussion. When one is not so calm, it's probably best avoided). 

Sometimes it's better to keep the mouth closed altogether. Wearing a mask daily, is a good reminder to guard what we say. (I should probably start wearing mine at home to help this process). Other times its best, right even, to open it, and speak up. 

It's worth mentioning too, that we often remember just as keenly, the negative speech spoken towards us and over us, as well as the life giving words. I remember a teacher of mine saying she looked forward to reading my written work, my essays, because she found them humorous and enjoyable. I want my speech to have the same long-lasting affect that her words have had on me, on those around me but especially those inside my household. 

I think as a mum, we have real power to speak joy into our homes. (Often we can open our mouths and somehow inadvertantly manage to stick our foot completely in it. At times with teenagers for example, it doesn't matter what is said, it's received how they want to hear it). Thankfully the mouth can and must be used to say we are sorry, as well as using itto  offer grace and forgiveness.

Words uttered can also cause eyebrows to be raised or laughter to follow, especially if you are trying to be serious at the time. I have four boys, so usually it all goes to pot, if balls or nuts are mentioned, even in the loosest of terms. They can't seem to help themselves, and it's only made worse if I try to clarify what I mean. I tend to roll my eyes and walk away at this point. But today, I outdid myself....

The male child species can sometimes be seen puffing out their chest. I guess they are marking their territory (definately better than peeing in the corner). Sometimes they are proving they are the Alpha male. Sometimes it's simply because I have already banned them from touching each other, so it's their way of still annoying their sibling. One of those grey areas that kids find. 

Today after one such display, I heard myself saying to two of them, "You know who has the biggest chest around here? I do. My chest is the biggest. And when you're puffing yours out, you're actually competing with me, and you wont win". Needless to say, the two boys gaffawed their way up the stairs in hysterics, and the moment was dispersed. 

Now for some kind of godly wrap up, to finish this post.... 

The Bible says A LOT about what comes out of our mouths. Here's a link to 100 verses on the subject, should you really want to study it. But I'll highlight just a couple.

"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body". Proverbs 16v24

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear". Ephesians 4v29