*7:45am - Wake the boys up
*Check on the girls who are downstairs watching TV. Try to work out how long they've been downstairs watching TV. (Be mindful of mums with little ones who can't put the TV on yet)
*Put the kettle on for a cuppa, and for a hot water bottle
*Turn on and log into old laptop (Argument Avoider)
*Make cuppa and put hot water bottle on the sofa to apease and warm a grumpy morning child
*Turn on and log into newer laptop. Find charger for said laptop, and plug it in before child needs it. (Time Wasting Avoider)
*Wake boys up round two
*Put bowls, spoons, cereal, milk and sugar on the table. (Time Wasting Avoider)
*Be disappointed with yesterday's you for running out of milk
*Find dressed child to send to shops for milk with a 10p bribe (Be mindful of mums with little ones who can't go get milk yet)
*Congratulate yesterday's you for putting the dishwasher on last night
*Wake the boys up round three - this time with a little encouragement about education and a little something about independence and leaving them to it if they don't get up
*Turn on PC, get notebook and pens ready (Argument Avoider)
*Ask the littlest member of the house if she is going to wear more than pants and a mermaid blanket for her home learning
*Make toast for a small army
*Child asks what's for dinner
*Be disappointed with yesterday's you for not defrosting the chicken
*Answer 'Pesto Pasta'
*Again?
*Yes!
*Yes you're aware of the one who doesn't like Pesto
*Clear away cereal and toast*Wonder why so many plates, even with this many kids
*Welcome child back home with milk, don't tell them the milk wasn't needed
*Mentally tick off a walk, fresh air and money maths for that child
*Decide you care more about the boys' education than their independence and wake boys up, round four
*Turn their light on and open window widely
*Loudly remind household that lessons start in 10minutes
*Scroll through emails to find log on details
*Ask a boy who is awake to help a sibling log in
*Get cereal back out for boy who has finally got up and wants to know where the breakfast is
*Keep mouth shut
*Thankfully there is milk
*Turn TV off, explaining that although that child doesn't have a lesson yet, it doesn't serve the house to have it on
*Not even for a little bit
*Not even on mute
*Find headphones for little person in her mermaid blanket
*Tell her she'd be less cold if she put clothes on
*Walk away (Argument Avoider)
*Find iPhone adapter cable for headphones
*Be grateful that headphones were on two people's Christmas lists
*Put the kettle on because you forgot to drink your tea
*Wake the last boy up who has a later start
*Explain that he hasn't got much time, but you'll make him toast (Time Waster Avoider)
*Listen to him explain that you should have woken him up sooner
*Keep those lips tightly closed
*See child that found hot water bottle, and know that he's probably grateful on the inside
*See if everyone is where they should be and doing what they're meant to do
*Don't answer the question, 'where else would I be?'
*Encourage the pant wearing mermaid girl back to her seat
*Remind her it's not cartwheel time
*Ask the one who hasn't got a lesson, to read
*Spend time looking for book
*Say yes to colouring instead
*Say no to colouring whilst wearing Heelies to skate in the kitchen
*Find charger for child who is old enough to take care of his own equipment
*Go to child who cannot hear the teacher
*Take headphones out and put them back in again
*Scroll through emails to find log in details
*Log back into lesson
*Realise that the headphones had just been turned down
*Lips closed
*Go to child who says their lesson is boring
*Encourage them to push through because it's been 7minutes
*Go to child who says the internet isn't working
*Log out and in again
*Say no to snacks, because they've just had toast
*Drink luke warm tea
*Find a pen for child whose pen isn't working
*Remind child where spare pens are
*Be amused at hearing a teacher say, "I'm just going to turn off the chat function now" (Be mindful of, and forever grateful for teachers)
*Ask house to be quiet for a child who has to speak Spanish to his class
*Ask house to not pretend they can all speak Spanish
*Ask child who is singing to not
*Say no to snacks
*Ask child who is commenting outloud on everything he is doing, to not
*Put thumb up to child who just had their name mentioned
*Hope it was for a good reason
*Hear child asking Alexa for the answer to a maths question
*Realise Alexa is your new TA (Be mindful of Teaching Assisstants who know every child individually)
*Say yes to water for one child
*Then get water for subsequent other children
*Remind them about liquids and computers
*Remind yourself we have rules for reasons
*Remind yourself to just let it go, and get through this
*See if everyone is where they should be and doing what they're meant to do
*Celebrate when they are
*Explain to a child that they cannot take a photo of their work to email to their teacher because their sibling has your phone for a lesson
*Explain that they are not the priority
*Explain what 'rummaging' means to a child
*Give an example of rummaging through the bin if you'd thrown something away by mistake
*Go to child who has your phone because someone is ringing
*Hang up phone
*Lesson has been logged off due to phone call
*Scroll through emails to find log in details
*Log child back in
*Phone rings again, cutting child off from lesson
*Explain to the husband that he cannot ring you at 8:30, 9:30,10:30,11:30, 12:30, 1:30 or 2:30
*Tell him you will see him in February, maybe
*Hear that a child has been asked a question by the teacher
*Child shouts about rummaging through a bin
*Shouting because they're wearing noise cancelling headphones
*Other child tells shouting child to be quiet
*Give a thumbs up to the child who was shouting
*Say 'I know' to the child who was annoyed at shouting child
*Nod when child asks if I heard them give their answer
*Go to text a friend
*Realise phone is in use at 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 11;30, 12:30, 1:30 and 2:30
*Realise you can never text a friend again
*Have friends again in February, maybe
*Ask a child why they are no longer on a lesson
*They have a break at 9:30
*Realise other child should have started their lesson at 9:30
*Scroll through emails to find log in details
*Say no to a snack
*Still no, even if child is starving
*Start getting 11am snacks ready
*Change no to not yet
*Realise phone is nearly out of battery
*Move child to awkward position to learn where phone can be charged at the same time
*Realise phone cannot be charged while headphones are in
*Move child to another room so they can hear their lesson outloud (Argument Avoider from child that can hear their lesson)
*Move other child to PC to do their home learning after their live lesson
*Watch them log in wrong because they can do it by themselves
*Not so patiently do it for them
*Agree with them that their teacher is probably better at this
*Explain there is no need for tears
*Say yes you will change your tone
*Walk away (Argument Avoider)
*Get called back before you get to the kitchen
*This work needs help with
*Other child calls for help
*Prioritise the one that said they were the priority
*Release the little one to start a Barbie shop
*Despair a little
*Hide in the toilet to wee
*To pray
*To breathe
*Ask child to just wait a minute
*Ask other child to just wait a minute
*Rather firmly say "I just want to wee in peace"
*Thank child for reminder about your tone
*Go to scroll socials on phone
*Realise your phone is no longer yours
*Just got to get through the 10:30, 11:30, 12:30, 1:30 and 2:30 slots
*Or not
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens". Ecclesiastes 3v1
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