Stay At Home

In addition to all the new things that we are currently facing, I find myself with a new job. For most of my parenting journey, I have been a Stay-at-Home-mum, which is a ridiculous description because I rarely stayed at home. I and the little people in my care would have gone stir crazy if we stayed at home. I think it works for some kids and some mums but for me and mine, it was park, carbs, park, carbs, repeat. 

A moment came when I decided I liked kids so much, that I should take more of them in and  start childminding. By this time, enough of mine were in full time education that it seemed a good balance. The husband partly loved that season, because Ofsted required a tidy environment to raise other people's kids in. But he also came home to extra children in the house who were being entertained with paint and glitter. 

I mainly looked after friends' kids. Some who needed to work for financial reasons and some who needed to work to keep their sanity. I enjoyed having little ones around and uploading photos with witty diary entries, partly because of my comedic genius and partly because kids are just hilarious. I had a particular pairing of girls - one an enthusiastic hugger and one who reluctantly put up with the affection that came her way. The day arrived when my littlest went into school, and as much as I thought I would take in a higher ratio of children, I decided enough was enough and I should just stick to the ones I birthed.

This and lockdown coincided with my brother in law needing some admin support for his landscaping company. The brother in law, the best man at our wedding happens to also be my oldest friend from our teen years, so nearly five years of fun ensued as we booked in slabs and I learnt the importance of getting diggers ordered to arrive on site, rather than at his home address. The confidence I gained in that role in addition to the transferable mum skills that I brought along with me, probably pushed me to apply for a job that I may have thought was outside of my reach previously. I got quite the telling off from one of my sons when I was prepping for the interview. I had tearfully said that I did not want to feel stupid. He reminded me of who I was in Christ and who I was as a Dawson. It was one of those teaching moments from his youth that had beautifully returned to bite sharpen me.

So that brings me up to date with a new role in finance admin. It doesn't quite feel very me but I look forward to going to work each day which is a win, and I'm enjoying developing a new skillset. Part of the joy of going off to work in an office every day, has been sourcing a capsule wardrobe sponsored of course, by Vinted. I have a new work bestie who started at the same time as me, and she very kindly put us in the same age bracket. 'Clock it', as she would say. 

Me heading out to work, has been a funny adjustment for our household. Thankfully the husband has been able to finish his working day at home so the youngest two aren't alone for too long. This has been the first half term that I have not been with the kids, which has been a real mixture of emotions for me. I have embraced the freedom after two decades of being a stay-at-home mum. I have of course felt the standard mum guilt and quite simply, I have just missed being around them. I am very aware that me being able to be with the kids for so long, has been a really privileged position to be in which I have really loved. I know that some mums simply haven't had the choice not to work and some haven't enjoyed staying home. 

I remember having a conversation with a mum who also worked outside of the home. She had come across the phrase 'full time mum' as if her being at work somehow made her a part time mum. The mumming, the responsibilty, the care, the mental load, the weight, the juggle is a full time role regardless of how much is done in the home.

It is another muscle stretch for me, for our household and also in learning to trust God in a new way. There always seems to be new ways to trust Him. I take wisdom from the much admired and sometimes hard to reach woman of Proverbs 31. She takes care of her household, and if she was alive today, she would definately have a Vinted selling page!

"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,
    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household
    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed..." Proverbs 31v25-28