The Truth Will Set You Free

So last night along with over 11 million others, we tuned into the Celebrity Traitors final and it did not disappoint. TV Gold! As we all gathered around the TV, it reminded me of childhood moments where we would eat our dinner on wicker edged trays in front of the tele, for a night of Gladiators or You've been framed or even more recently, Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway. In a fast paced world where we can binge a whole series at the touch of a button, where we can skip the adverts, or swipe to something more entertaining, it was really nice to have to wait for something. Explaining to the kids that this was what it was like in the olden days when we were young, just brings them to despair.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, our youngest hasn't been staying up to watch it with us. She has played catch up the following day, so I can talk into it or skip the Wailing Banshees. Apparently last night, she heard us scream and shout at the television while she was in bed (with good reason, I might add). This morning she watched it before school, because she didn't want to hear the result elsewhere. I watched her as she watched the drama unfold, making the same comments and assumptions that I had made the night before. Then the moment for the red or green flames came. That 3rd green flame popped onto the screen and she gasped, leapt out of her seat and grabbed her face. Then silence, as she stood in shock wondering how this had just happened. It reminded me of when I first watched Frozen; a friend of mine watched me as it was revealed that Hans wasn't in fact a love interest, who finished Anna's sandwiches. He was indeed, in every sense a traitor. 

As we gathered my youngest's bags together for school, she honed in on Alan's tears. Why had he got so upset? Hurrah, I love it when TV throws up questions and ponderings that I can answer with a Biblical framework. I asked her how she felt when she knew she was lying to me or to dad. She said she was unsure what the feeling was but it was in her belly and she wanted to put her head in the pillow and cry. There is, or at least should be, something quite unsettling about lying and deceiving people. This is what Alan's tears were about. The game had made him lie to people, lie about people, and hurt friends even. He had to throw them out of a game they were enjoying, not quite a literal stab people in the back but emotionally pretty much so. The game required him to push the blame, talk about people, cause people to doubt, trick people and see one of them put in a coffin. A lot to shoulder personally, but brilliant to watch.

Carrying that level of deceit was a burden for him. I guess in a way, it spoke of Alan's character outside of the show, the fact that it upset him that much to lie to people and deceive them. We have all been on the recieving end of betrayal or lies spoken about us. It's a horrible feeling, and Alan was the one having to do that. Even in a game format, with his humour, great jackets and witty comments, that was a heavy weight to bear. We often speak to the kids about telling the truth, because lies break relationship. We use Lego to talk about the effect of lies. When Lego is put together it builds something beautiful, something cool, fun and strong which is what we hope for with our relationships with our kids. When there is deceit and lies, it breaks that beautiful thing. We break the Lego at this point to show the point visibly. Thankfully both Lego and trust in relationships can be re-built. (Not all relationships can or should be rebuilt of course, but forgiveness of betrayal is a healthy aim and an antedote to bitterness).

I told my youngest that Alan in that moment, was finally able to share the burden he had been carrying and say sorry for it. He was able to be honest and truthful which came as a huge relief to him. The remaining faithfuls had to somehow process their own dealings with betrayal whilst comforting their friend, and reminding him it was a game well played I shared this Bible verse with her; "...you will know the truth and the truth will set you free". John 8v32. I spoke about how telling the truth especially after a previous lie, brings freedom. In this case, the Bible verse beforehand is actually talking about knowing God's word, knowing the Bible, and living according to it. This is the truth which brings freedom. Freedom from the burden of

 sin, freedom from death, freedom from condemnation, freedom from the law. I guess that is what I was aiming to do when I brought Biblical truth to my youngest this morning. It's also the reason that her name means Truth. We want nothing less for her. 

100% Faithful

I recieved an email notification saying that someone had commented on one of my blog posts. I was keen to see who I had encouraged, who I had passed some wisdom onto, who was grateful for my writing and keen to tell me how I had blessed them. I was quickly humbled when I saw that the comment was from a company asking if I needed an affordable reliable toothbrush supplier in India. They had clearly not even read the blog post, and I clearly do not need to bulk order toothbrushes in India. 

This wasn't even my most humbling moment with the blog. I was once at a Christian ladies conference, where the guest speaker had said how encouraging and thought-provoking she had found my blog to be. It was a blessing to her as she read it in the early hours of the morning with a little one in arms. Wow! In the break at said conference, someone informed me that they didn't get what all the hype was in regards to One Pink Toothbrush. They actually found the posts quite boring and reading them had literally caused them to fall asleep. They smiled as they said it, and they meant no offence of course. None taken of course, as I removed the dagger from my back! 

And do you know what that got me thinking about? Traitors! Ha - a tenious link, but one I'm not ashamed to use. I am obsessed as are millions of other people, so it seems. Some people have even been known to dress up as Claudia; the fingerless gloves, the fringe, the eyeliner, the wintery style. A huge round of applause for the casting; actual known celebrities, rather than hopeful wannabes. Even Claudia is in awe; watching well known faces voluntarily dunk those well known faces into wells of cold water. Watching them jump off of bridges hoping that all is still in tact. You've got theatrics, drama, horse-led funerals, Tom Daley's side eye, the big-dog theory, a passionate Scotsman, unlikely friendships, the farting incident, and of course Alan looking conspicuous in everything he says and does. It's TV gold, and we can't even binge it. We've all been forced into weekly viewings, scheduling our diaries, our families, to be available for the next episode. 

One of my daughters watches it the following day as 9pm is a little on the late side for her, and I like to know what is coming up so I know what to skip past. For example, as funny as the Screaming Banshees were, (from the vocalist who recorded them to the legendary Celia copying them) my little one's active imagination would not have allowed her to settle into a restful night's sleep. I want her to engage with the people, the competition and the fun, not the eerily weird, dark element that is a far cry from her usual viewing.

As you know, I do like to bring the Bible into my parenting whenever I can, especially in regards to TV viewing. It's too good an opportunity to waste, but it would have been particularly annoying for the adults I have been watching the series with. They may well have given me the side eye too. So I asked what Biblical themes we could remind ourselves of. We started strong with, "Do not murder". Or more precisely, do not plan someone's murder, while in a green cloak and laughing about it from a tower. We discussed lying to people, lying and gossipping about people, lying and gossipping and causing others to do the same. Ha, there really is a lot in there once you get started. A frequent subject to discuss with the kids is in regards to judging others. As Christians, we may do things differently to others, hold different views on things, but Jesus talks a lot about not judging people. In Traitors, everyone is judging everyone all the time, based on what they see or hear or percieve or thought they heard or previosuly knew about the person, or even how they enter the breakfast room. One judgement that we have collectively agreed on, is that the Faithfuls have been useless at finding Traitors. An easy judgement to make from the comfort of our own sofas.

In the programme, when someone is rewarded with the Sheild, they are protected. Alan can't send them off to their demise as he laughs in the tower. (Brilliant viewing, but makes no sense if you haven't watched it.) The Bible talks about God being our protector, shielding us from evil. The shield of faith is in action when we choose to trust God. Our greatest reward is not through something we have achieved or earned, or dug in our own grave. We have the shield of Protection because of what Jesus has done for us. 

And finally... wait for it... Jesus is 100% Faithful. It's cheesy but it's true. 

Not so much in the celebrity version of this show, but usually the contestants are stating how faithful they are. They are completely faithful, utterly faithful. They are 100% faithful. They are the most faithful that has ever been faithful. They swear on their mums. They swear on their kids (which coincidentally is another Biblical topic to look into). Some of them are indeed faithfuls as they say these things. And some of those swearing to be faithfuls, aren't even faithful at all. Maybe they are 'Faithful to the Traitors' as Jonathan Ross wonderfully declared. Are any of them truly, completely faithful? Can any one of us say that we are? Think about your favourite faithful from this current series; (mine was the passioante Scot) they will have still got things wrong in their lives. They will have let people down, maybe even hurt them. Pretty sure they haven't mudered anyone. But just like you and me, there will be stuff... the sin, the bagagge, the regrets, the pain, the betrayal. What they need, what we all need is someone who has not one blemish to their name, one who was actually murdered, who stood in our place, a sinless Saviour; one who is unchanging, true to His word and keeps all His promises. One who is the ultimate Faithful.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness". Lamentations 3v22-23

POV

Perspective is a wonderful thing. Me and the husband are about to embark on a new adventure, which feels massive, huge, far too big, painful and a little ridiculous even. We are packing up our home, taking on the task of cross-cultural mission, and moving to Surrey! In some ways it's really not too big of a difference. We are moving an hour and a half away (an hour and 15 if the husband is driving). We are moving to a similar church to the one we are leaving, with a great kids ministry, a vibrant youth work and a heart for the poor. Schools with uniforms, streets with houses, a local football team and a Primark. 

Some of the differences feel too hard to comprehend - no seaside, no students and no Lidl. I mean, what a test of faith that will be. Do I go over to the other side, and embrace Aldi or is Waitrose the new me? (Spoiler alert - no. No it's not quite). 

From my point of view, leaving two or three sons and their gorgeous ladies behind is quite big. Familiy dinners will no longer be all of us together, twice a week. My heart breaks a little when I dwell on this, so we will move swiftly past it. Leaving the church that we have been part of for nearly 25 years also sits on the fairly big side of things. Reflecting back on all God has done; friendships made, lives lived together, services led, meetings hosted, preaches crafted, griefs grieved, joys celebrated. Leaving the community that we have raised our kids in for the last 20 years is also on the bigger side of things. The friendly nods, the 'stop and chats' at the middle park or at Mulberrys, the snow-day sledges, the wrongful arrests, the kids growing up, Dave's music box, and the sense of just being known. Saying Goodbye to the Primary school after 17 years was quite emotional last week. 

And packing up our wonderful home, ah that will pull on the ol' heart strings. If I had a pound for every mug of tea enjoyed at my kitchen table, a pound for every pair of trainers we have gone through, for every friend who has popped in, for every teenager who has been welcomed, for every Lego model we have made, for every cold compress applied, for every head injury sustained, for every play fight gone wrong, for every Weetabix eaten, for every dish dropped, for every doll dressed, for every football lost, for every movie watched, for every meal served, for every dummy hidden, for every laugh had, for every Bible story told, for every dance-off had, for every game won, for every vegetable not eaten, for every sock stolen, for every time the table was extended, I'd be a rich lady indeed.  

And that is what perspective brings. From my point of view, I am rich, abundantly rich in every blessing there has been in this home, in this church, in this community. I have known of God's goodness, His faithfilness, His provision. I have so much to be grateful for. I am moving from one place of security to another. I am free to worship God and proclaim him. My children are safe, the ones coming with us and the ones staying. I am not crossing the Red Sea or living in the Wilderness. I am not living in fear. I am trusting the God of the past, the present and the future. From my point of view, to be adventuring with Him is the best thing any of us can do.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are yiur ways my ways" declares the Lord. "As the Heavens are higher than the Earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts". Isaiah 55v8-9

Think About It

I have just got back from a couple of days at a conference. The conference was called Think. This is partly of course, because it really stretches your mind, gets the ol' grey matter working. But thankfully for me, I like to think it is called Think, because someone else has done a lot of the thinking for me. Hurrah! A dear friend of mine runs the conference, and despite him calling me names from the stage, (a sign of endearment on his part) he did and usually does do, a splendid job of communicating. 

He is one of those people who provokes you to use the word spendid in a blog post, because you want to better your language skills around him. He is one of those people who can communicate some mind-baffling Biblical concepts in a way that doesn't make you feel stupid, (even if you have to look up some of the words he is using*). And boy does he use a lot of words, which I know is rich coming from me! He is one of those people who can engage the cleverest mind in the room, as well as those people who use the word cleverest in a sentence. He is one of those people who does all the thinking, in order to get you thinking, about what God was thinking. Ultimately he takes you from thinking about Jesus, to being full of awe of our Lord and Saviour.

It is always wonderful when you see someone in their lane, doing the thing that God created them to do. And do you know what I kept thinking about at the Think conference? His mum. I met her, she's lovely. There must have been a period of time where this man as a young boy, would have listened to his mum read the Bible to him, explain the gospel to him, teach the meaning of Righteousness to him, explore the Scriptures with him, model forgiveness to him, sing cheesy christian songs with him. I'm not sure if her repertoire included building Jericho out of wafer biscuits, like mine does, but I bet she got him to dwell on higher things. I bet she got him to think.

A mother running in her lane, doing the thing that God created her to do, is a most splendid thing indeed. To communicate Biblical concepts to a child, to let them know that God knows their name, that He created them, He loves them, He sent His son to die for them, He forgives them, He has plans for them, He thinks about them, is no small thing. Do we always feel like it, no. Do we feel qualified, no. Do we have the energy, no. Do they ask unanswerable questions, yes. Are we riddled with guilt when we don't, yes. 

But do we want them to think about greater things, which lead them to being filled with awe? Yes, we most definately want that for them. 

Jesus' own mum had quite the response to being told what was in her lane, the task set before her. "I am the Lord's servant" she worshipfully said. There are aspects of mumming which we may not have seen coming when we first thought about it. In hindsight, we can but wonder what it was even like, to be the Saviour of the world's mum. Likewise, I am quite certain that my clever friend's mum raised her eyes Heavenward at times and said, 'really, this one'. But with God's help and grace, we do our bit. We say 'Yes Lord, I will be your servant, I will teach this little one about you. I will get them to think about it, and I will trust the rest of it to you'.

*Polyvalent - (adj); having multiple meanings, functions, or forms; capable of being interpreted or applied in various ways, depending on content.

**Kipper - as in Yom Kippur, the day of Atonment. Not Kipper the fish or Kipper the dog. (Some people ask silly questions at these events. Me - I am some people).

Shut Your Mouth

We have started another round of teaching a child to drive. We do some off road sessions to get the basics across the line. 'Yes you need to put the clutch down with your left foot whilst changing gear with your left hand, whilst steering with both hands, with your right foot on the accelerator, as the left foot comes up whilst checking your mirrors, in a very obvious way'.

Each time they look at us, blink a few times and ask us to explain it again. I wonder if this is a key moment when teenagers allow themselves to think their parents might actually know a thing or two. Not admit it out loud of course, but at least wonder if it could be true. With the basics understood, they then have a few lessons with a professional, and we aim to take them out on the road as much as possible so they can gain experience.They get helpful teaching when their dad is out with them, whereas when they're out with me, I simply enjoy the side by side time with them. (Helpful hint; at first they think a steering wheel turns a car the same way Mario or Luigi turn a Kart on a virutal track; one swift move rather than 'feeding the wheel through' and therefore the McDonald's drive through is not the one for those early days. That was a fun one to explain to the husband!) 

Before I go out in the car with them I give them a little pep talk. I have 30 years driving experience. I do know more than you. The fact that I know more than you will annoy you. You will panic at some point. You will stall multiple times. You will blame me. You will probably raise your voice at me. I will probably have to grab the wheel at least once. I will mostly stay quiet. If I raise my voice it will be to say 'stop the car'. I am not the enemy. I am for you. After the drive your adrenaline will be up. You will think you hate me but you actually don't. We will exit the car and we will still be mum and son. Naturally they suggest that this will not happen at all, until they find themselves shouting at me because I made them stall the car. 

I guess over the years I have learned a thing or two about dealing with teenage sons. I'm sure some of it is similar to raising teenage daughters, I just don't know that yet. I'm sure it will be a wonderful, possibly emotional, rollercoaster over the next few years as I find out. Watch this space. Send help! But so far with teenage boys, apart from making sure they are full of carbs, my number one tip would be to keep my mouth firmly closed.

My mother in law helpfully told me once that us mums are to be like rubbish bins. We are to be available for our kids to offload all their rubbish, get rid of all their yuck out of them and onto us. All that rubbish inside isn't healthy for them.They need to safely off-load onto us, but to note, not 'into' us. We mustn't take it personally. Oh but we so often do. Their words, their tone, just their lack even can wound us mums in ways they might never understand until they have children of their own. It's imperative that we don't hold onto all that yucky stuff. All that rubbish inside isn't healthy for us either. We have to offload it to our Heavenly Father. He can take it. The Psalms model perfectly to us, that we can rant and off-load and question and accuse. The Father models perfectly to us how to listen with grace and kindness, patience and love. 

It was (and is) a slow lesson for me to learn, not taking their off-loads personally. Realising maybe they feel safe enough to pour it all out in our direction. Maybe it's even a little test to see if we will still be there, still love them, still accept them, still be kind to them, still show them grace. The better moments for me seem to have been when I have managed to 'bite my tongue', or to keep it simple, shut my mouth. When I have swallowed hard, not responded, let them rant. When I have just been the bin-man as it were. Sure, I may well have gone into my room to cry or ranted a 'how dare they' at a friend or at their dad but if it's not been at them, then that for me has been a win! Maybe the situation will be brought up at another time. Maybe it will be spoken into. Maybe it will just be left. There have been moments when my mouth has failed me, failed to phyically close and instead 16yr old me has come out to take them on, meet them at their level with pointing fingers and voices raised. Not my best moments at all, but always humbling to be able to ask for their fogiveness. And if they have seen it modelled, felt the effects of it, they start to show us some undeserved grace too. 

"Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark." James 3v5

I might throw in an extra verse, because parenting teenagers needs all the truth and help you can throw at it. 

"Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires". James 1v19-20

Fly Away

A few weeks ago, another toothbrush left the pot. 

You would think this would take the pot down to six toothbrushes, but for some reason there has always been more toothbrushes in that pot, than people living in this house. Sometimes it is double the number. It baffles the husband every time he makes them point out which toothbrush is theirs in order to throw the excess ones away. It doesn't change anything. It goes into the mysteries of family life, like odd socks and tupperware lids.

So a toothbrush has gone, as have the Star Wars and Film Lego sets. The record player has gone, as have the guitars. Stitch has gone as have the unique T-shirts. The room is empty, much to the siblings' intrigue as they prepare their motivational speeches about having their own rooms. I watched him pack it all away. Well, I watched him pack away the bits he wanted, the rest he left in a pile or two (or three) for me to sort through. He carefully packaged all the bits that needed to be safely re-homed in our loft, and all the bits that needed to go with him to his new home. 

He actually accidently left home without realising it, and without telling us. It just sort of happened. He thought he was just decorating the new place but ended up staying there. He then called me to say that he may have accidently left home. We landed the call with a plan for him to come home for family dinner so that we could all get a chance to say what we love about him, and say a goodbye of sorts. The husband packed all of his things and some of my memories into the car and drove him off to his new adventure. I went and stood in his room. I closed my eyes. I breathed in the quietness and had a good cry. I needed to feel the empty space, grieve the empty space. It visually and audibly helped me resonate with what was going on in my heart. 

I read somewhere last week that for the most part, we know our children as adults longer than we know them as children. It made sense but it stopped me in my tracks. Of course they are always our children but you don't really even comtemplate that thought when you're smack bang in the middle of the messy years. You're too caught up in the giggles, the chatter, the colour, the chaos, the loose teeth, the open doors, the running, the plastc tat, the early mornings, the car seats, the knee scrapes, the trips to the park, the pack mentality, the tree climbing, the head bandages, the Cheerios, the wet wipes, the noise, the breakages, the muddy trainers, the imaginative play, the same old adventures. Then they're teenagers and maybe their doors are a little more closed. The noise and the chaos come in bursts when they feel safe, happy or mad. Less trees get climbed and their trainers stay clean. The colours tone down. They become individuals. Early mornings get later and later. The chats become less but so treasured. And then their bags get packed, boxes get filled, the space empties and they're off for some new adventures. 

It's both wonderful and awful all rolled into one. You spend your life as a mum, being there for them. You're there when they need you, nurturing them, shaping them, chanllenging and encouraging them, making sure they've got everything they need in order to grow into people who don't need your shaping and nurturing so much. You have to go through the painful bit where they don't think they need you but they desperately do, through to the bit where they actually don't need you quite so much and you need them more than you realise. 

I did a Valentine's activity for the ones still at home and realised there were of course names missing. (One was a bit poorly and didn't fancy chocolate and two have moved out). The mum guilt was there, as it tries to be in all seasons of a mother's life! It was like I had forgotten them, which I hadn't but this verse actually stood as a great encouragement to me.

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hands..."Isaiah 49v15-16

These kids I have been blessed with are not mine to keep, but arrows to be sent out into the world. I can trust that God not only has His eye on them. He's got their names on the palms of His hands. They are His. He knows them. He created them for adventures. He created me for this adventure too.

Off-Peak

So yesterday I took the plunge and joined a gym. Eeek! I'm not really a gym type person. I tend to convince myself that there are so many workouts on-line, I could just do them whenever I want to, which is pretty much never. (Although I would recommend a 20min Beyonce Dance off with your daughters, for the giggles, the moves and the fitness.) There was a deal on, it's near my place of work, it can fit it in with my week, so I went for it. I was fairly relieved when yesterday turned out to be just a tour and the payment schedule. I didn't dare tell them I had a scraped together gym kit in the back pack I was wearing. I went for the off-peak option because it was a) cheaper and b) the gym's 'peak hours' are also home's 'peak hours' so I wouldn't be able to get there then. Besides, being at home between 4pm and 8pm is a different kind of workout. (I think it's called exercising the fruits of the Spirit). 

This morning I had my Induction at 8am. A little bit of me-time at 8am. Of course, first I needed to make sure I could leave the house well. I took the toothbrushes out of the bathroom in order to eliminate the "I'm in the shower" shout to the siblings knocking on the door to use the toothbrushes. I woke one of them up for his first wake up on my way downstairs with the toothbrushes. I took the sandwiches out of the fridge. Like Martha Stewart or some other organised mum guru, I had made the sandwiches the night before whilst watching an episode of Police Interceptors. I had to pre-empt the night-owl teenager that the sandwiches in the fridge are not for him as a late night snack. (Side note: apparently sandwiches are not working for one of them so we're trialing wraps). I leave the sandwiches and wraps out in age order. It's just easier that way. 

I put the kettle on for a hot water bottle for the one who is too sick for school. I got the uniform out of the dryer for the one that needed it washed last night. I leave out Ibuprofen for his sore back. Yes he could go looking for it all, but at 6:45am that's a lot to ask from a teen. I put the cereal on the table and pack the littlest one's lunch. I'm making her go to a buddy's house early so I can go to a stupid gym induction so she wont quite be fully conscious enough to pack her own lunch. I take up the hot water bottle, a snack, a note, fresh water and Calpol for the poorly one and leave it within reach for when she wakes up. (She was prepped the night before that I'd be gone for an hour. She possibly wont even wake until I am back). I do a second wake up of the one who needs waking, and a third with a reminder to get his football gear ready. He can't find his black jeans. I'm pretty sure black jeans are not in the uniform policy but that is his battle with the teachers, not mine. I find his black jeans. And his belt. 

I do the first and second wake up of the littlest who can't believe it's not the middle of the night. It was a whole 15minutes earlier than normal because I had a gym induction to get to. I help her to get dressed. She is of course old enough to get dressed by herself but this morning, mummy is going to help because mummy has some me-time booked in. Thankfully she has plaits in which will last her another non hair-brushing day. I sign her reading record, while getting her sleepy self to choose which cereal she wants. (I assume she has indeed read Tom Gates' Dog Zombies Rule but the teachers can pick that up). I put a washing load on because any sane mother knows that missing one day of laundry creates 7 extra days of laundry. One of them has asked for an early drop off down the road so he can get the bus to work. One of them is poorly in bed. One of them I walk across the road to her buddy's house. One of them I hope gets the bus to school and one I'm not sure what his plans are but I have left a hopeful note about the washing being put away. 

And then I'm off to the gym, off to get a little me-time. I catch a breath-taking sunrise across the sea, and I have a little chat to God. I am reminded of Psalm 113, "From the Rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised". I thank God that there is much to praise His name for. For the abundant household I have just come from, for the gym I don't particularly want to go to, for the joy of the sunrise behind me. 

I read in the gospel of Mark later that day, that after the sunset people had brought all the sick to Jesus to be healed. 'The whole town gathered at the door'. Early the next morning, while it was dark Jesus had left the house and gone to a solitary place to pray. Simon had gone looking for him. He needed Him back because 'everyone was looking for Him'. I am not comparing my ministry at home with Jesus ministry to everyone in Galilee, but I did smile knowing that Jesus sees me and understands me. He knows what the demand is like to a whole other level, and yet He is still always availe to me. There are no off-peak hours with Jesus. Another reason to praise Him before the sun goes down.

Snow and Tell

Yesterday, beloved Brighton came to a standstill due to heavy snowfall. When I say heavy, I mean heavy for this tiny part of Sussex. The snow actually settled for once, rather than just a colder than usual, wetter than usual slushy drizzle. And of course, chaos ensued. The snow arrived on the school run, the perfect time of the day for a little extra madness. Parents couldn't get to school, kids couldn't get home from school and some teachers had to stay at other local teachers' houses for the night, because they couldn't make the trecherous drive home. Certain roads became gridlocked with some people abandoning their cars, whilst others skidded along hoping their non winter tyres would get them up the hill, only to find abandoned buses, police cars and ice everywhere. 

I witnessed the heroic ventures of one man who had borrowed another man's boots and jogged for 40minutes to collect his wife and son who had wisely decided to stop their car rather than attempt the rest of the journey home. He wrapped the boy up and put him in a carrier and walked him and his wife safely home, spotting multiple snowmen along the way. One of my children managed to get the early bus home, so she was safe and dry. Her brother however had left a little later, so he sat on a non moving bus for an hour and was a little put out when I couldn't drive to pick him up as my car had been iced in by this point. He had a cold walk home.

One person however was delighted with yesterday's antics! My youngest always asks Alexa in the morning what degree it will be today. She then decides her wardrobe based on the answer. Alexa told her it would be Zero degrees. Rather intrigingually she then asked if there would be snow. Alexa said there would be later in the afternoon. Rather delighted with that answer, she came and told me that snow was expected. She then said how sad it was because the snow never settles. It gets washed away and it's never deep enough to actually play in. 

Well role on the school run! She didn't want to get a lift home in the car. She wanted to run in the snow, giggling with her best buddy. Ah the life of a nine year old. When she got home, we put on extra jumpers, found some snow gliders that I had picked up from the side of the road in the Summer and we headed back out. Oh what fun we had... snow gliding, snowball throwing, yellow snow avoiding, trecking up the Racehill, learning to roll rather than crash into the metal gate (after crashing into the metal gate) and of course building a snowman. 

It was a memory making day and we both loved it. After the post-snow meltdown, (all the tears because you can't feel your fingers or your toes and all your clothes are wet and freezing and clinging to you) she had a hot chocolate and snuggled into her fluffy Onesie. 

I took a moment to remind her about the morning. How she was sad because the snow wouldn't settle or be deep enough to play in. I told her she must be God's favourite! She looked up at me with questioning eyes. I explained that God didn't actually have favourites, just like parents shouldn't (although you might find one easier than another). But He is a good Father and He does know what we need and what brings us joy and she is a child of God. I said that I don't do everything the same for each of my children, but I know what blesses each one of them. I suggested that perhaps the snow was just for her, perhaps it wasn't at all but either way we should be thankful to Him for the fun we had had in the snow because not everyone's account of yesterday's snowday would have been as much of a blessing as it was to her, as it was to us. 

"As the snow... comes down from Heaven...watering the Earth making it bud and flourish...so is my word that...will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it". Isaiah 55v10-11

Like Father, Like Son

Happy New Year!

So 2025, what do you have in store for us?! If only we knew ahead of time, so we could put aside the right amount of energy, people-ing, crisis management, health, happiness, rest, antibiotics and money to see us nicely through each season that comes our way. Alas, this is yet to be invented or discovered. Perhaps I'll look into that for next year...

I feel I may have peaked too soon this year, just one day in. I went on a New Year's Day walk with some friends. Friends who I usually just admire from afar. Two of them run a gym, one of them goes swimming in the sea (in his Budgy Smuggglers) and one of them who just happened to swim the Channel. This didn't bode well as a starting point, plus there was a weather warning, plus we went for a walk in the windiest part of Brighton, possibly the UK. 

The first bit was lovely, little catch up with people about their Christmases. Kids happy to see their friends and run ahead, a little slip on the mud here and there but mostly a joyous outing. Then we were covered by the trees so conversation was able to continue, kids were happy. It felt healthy to be out in nature, a little smug even. Then we turned the corner and had to face Mordor, the land of Shadow, with its harsh geography and representation of all that is desolate and dark in the world. I tried to walk behind people in order to lessen the sheets of wind and ice attacking my face. I tried to make it look like I wanted my own space, a bit of alone time with my own thoughts, some meditation amidst nature. Truth was I couldn't breathe, let alone think about nature or even talk to people. One of my daughters said her face and legs hurt, her hands were cold, her legs were slipping. I left her to her own devices. She should have made better life choices. Each to their own. Survival of the fitest. (She was in her dad's care). 

There was a moment when I told the husband I physically couldn't do it. He didn't have much hope to offer me, because he knew I couldn't turn back. So he helpfully said, "It's just up that bit and then across that bit" pointing up towards Mordor itself. Yeah thanks for that! I was joined by my friend's ten year old daughter. She told me how hard this part of the walk was. I didn't believe she was finding it hard at all. She had told me earlier that she once run up it with her brother, pushing a feeding trough. I think she simply had compassion for me. She tried to distract me too at one point. I said she could walk ahead but she put her hand on my back and told me I could do it. She said this a few times as she walked alongside me. 

I knew she was modelling what her parents had taught her. Yes she's got an adventurous spirit and she is used to seeing her parents physically push themselves, but she modelled compassion to me, she encouraged perseverance in me and she walked alongside me at my own pace, not ahead of me,  just alongside. Attributes her parents are known for.

I thought back to Christmas morning when the biggest brothers in our household were very thoughtful with their sibling gifts. They loved big. I know some of that is what I have modelled to them. I do try to love big where I can. I thought back to this summer at Newday (a Christian Youth event). I had had a chat with a dad who had watched his two grown daughters loving their youth group by praying with them individually. He humbly knew this had come from his example. And I had had a chat with a mum whose teenager was happy to miss out because she was sorting through response cards from young people who wanted to follow Jesus. Again, a humble acknowledgement of all that that mum had taught her was important in life.

Interesting, encouraging, (sometimes daunting from a parents point of view)
what we learn from our parents or parental figures in our life. Spending time with them, watching them in action. Choosing what to emulate, what to pass on. 

Some of us will head into this new year with exciting goals and fresh expectations. Some of us will just be hoping that this year is easier than other years may have been. Some of us are not even sure what day of the week it is. Hopefully many of us will head into 2025 trusting that our Heavenly Father has got us. He knows what we need and He will be with us every step of the way, every day of the new diary. His Grace is sufficient for what lies ahead. He has strength for us, joy for us, peace for us, favour for us, blessings for us. He will also have comfort for us, rest for us and help for us when crisis comes our way, when we need another round of antibiotics, when we've run out of energy or money. As His children, He wants us to know Him, to spend time with Him, to enjoy His presence and to not only love His character but to model His character to others.  

"Follow God's example, therefore, as His dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering to God". Ephesians 5v1-2

'Tis the Season

A friend of mine encouraged me to take a moment during this busy Christmas season. To sit for twenty minutes. To sit with all lights off apart from the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. To have a coffee in my hand. To just sit and be still. To sit at the feet of Jesus. To remember that Jesus is seated at the right hand of the father because He is of equal position to the Father and because His work of redeeming me is done. To dwell on the seated Jesus, who right now is interceding for me. He sees me. He knows me. He's praying for me.

She then left me a short voice message of prayer, acknowledging the craziness of the outside world which has came into my home. She spoke the truth of the gospel. She reminded me that Jesus is the wonderful counsellor, the wounded healer, the prince of peace. She said that my family sits in His family tree which is bigger and stronger than me, than my worries, than my concerns, than my fears and failings. She said that I am carried under the refuge of His wings. In Him, I am safe. She said that Jesus identifies with messy family life. She prayed I would be still and know Him today. What a gift of a friend. (Not to self; Be more like Jesus and more like this friend).

So this morning that's what I did. I confess I had tea instead of coffee. It was 6:30am which is cuppa time, cup-of-tea time, not coffee-shop coffee time. Very different things. My twinkling Christmas tree was probably not the most peaceful of trees and I think I actually managed 12 minutes. But I sat. I thought about the mums with little ones, who would love a quiet house as late in the morning as 6:30am. I remember it well. I am grateful for seasons that do change. I thought about the encouragement of Susanna Wesley, pastor's wife and mother of many who put her apron over her head when she just needed a moment to dwell in God's presence. I just sat. I didn't read or sing. I didn't pray even. I was just still, mindful of all the truths that my friend had just prayed over me. And it did me good. It was good for my soul. It was probably good for my household too.

Somewhere in the midst of presents and chocolate and mangers and family and mince pies and school shows and movies and church and candy canes and Lemsip and teacher gifts and ice skating and friends and cards and experiences and shopping lists and placemats and gift lists and turkeys and freezer space and cookies and tinsel and stocking fillers and cranberries and extra chairs and driving around and the weight of it all and the stupid elf, there is Jesus. He is right there in the midst of it all. It does us good to be still, to be quiet and simply know, understand, comprehend, grasp, recognise, that He is indeed God. He is good. He is able. He is Sovereign. He is not just to be acknowledged but He is also to be exalted. It's good to take a moment (maybe more than just one) and sit at the feet of Jesus. And maybe just maybe, another mum could do with being reminded about this too. 

"His name shall be Immanuel; which means God with us." Matthew 1v23

Dumb Phone

Getting ready for the new school term, working out what we already have, what can be passed down from sibling to sibling, and what needs to be budgeted for and bought afresh. We have one starting senior school in a month's time. She is READY! She is suitably nervous and excited about it all. Nervous about the bus route, but excited all the same. Nervous about being judged by new people, excited by the possibility of new friends. Nervous that she will get lost in a big school, excited by all the new places including an actual Drama room, where you're meant to bring the drama!  

Choosing a pencil case was an interesting one. She over-ruled some for being too young, too fun, too out there. But the plain ones were too plain, and not very her. She didn't necessarily want to bring unwanted Yr 7 attention her way, but she didn't want to shy away from her own likes and preferences either. We've watched enough terrible gymnastic shows, to know there is always some mean kid who picks on other kids if they're different to them, or if their stuff isn't the 'right' stuff. Usually, that mean kid gets taught a moral lesson, or we find out their life is sad in some way or they fall off the gymnastics bar and depending on the programme, they get laughed at or shown grace. 

So she went with a pencil pencil case. It looks like a pencil. She thought that it would be really funny on day one, to say 'Want to see my pencil case?' and pull out a giant PENCIL case. She said the ones who laugh, will be her people. I don't know whether to be proud or question my parenting influence. I wonder if she will look at the other pencil cases on display and get an insight into their owners' characters. Knowing her, she might see a more plain one and wonder if they've changed who they really are to fit in, and she will make sure they can be themselves around her. She's a bit like that. 

As parents you have to navigate some of this stuff too. As Christian parents maybe even more so. You want to encourage them to be who God created them to be, with the plans and works He has for them to do. You also want to prepare them for what the world can be like, the patterns the world conforms to. You want to make sure that if they do stand out it's for the right reasons. I remember being mocked many years ago, for carrying my PE kit in a broken nameless carrier bag and that was way before we were in a society where we simply cancelled people or where disagreeing with someone meant you couldn't be friends with them anymore. On the whole, our kids have to deal with a lot more now than we had to. The circumstances that us parents are in, the choices that we make, the beliefs that we hold, have an impact on their lives which they have to navigate. It is important that they are prepared, covered in prayer and to an extent understand (or at least trust) the decisions that we make for them. 

My fresh new Year 7 child will rock up with her new pencil case, her packed lunch in a sturdy bag for Life, maybe from one of the posher shops and a Nokia phone. (Currently in the book she is reading, the criminal has a Nokia phone so that is amusing). A big decision we have made for our children is that they can have a Smartphone in Year 10, which they have to buy themselves. The internet is a wonderful place, and I enjoy my Social Media interactions, but we have decided that access to both of these at a young age isn't what is best for them, or best for our household. There is enough for kids to have to deal with already. We are also quite strong on the content that they consume, from TV and YouTube. And when a Smartphone enters our house, there is a need to warn against the dumb decisions a Smartphone can tempt us to make. Teaching them wisdom as Scripturally based as we can.

They know this will probably be seen as unusual, not the norm. My fresh Yr 7 knows some might mock her for her phone. We may be setting her up for some uncomfortable chats, or decisions to defend. She herself may not like it at times, but that is okay because we are the parents. We are responsible for her until she can be responsible for herself. We don't want to parent fearfully, we want to parent as wisely as we can. I'm sure this decision will be seen as quite extreme by some, but we also believe that extreme decisions at times just need to be made in life, especially when it comes to our children. One of our older ones told me recently that he sees the benefit of our Smartphone decision now, even though he didn't like it at the time.  

We want them to feel safe and prepared for the world outside of Primary school, outside of our home but we also want them to be comfortable with the uncomfortable. We want them to trust us and ultimately trust God. Jesus Himself made choices to go against the flow, to be different to the cultural norm, to love the unloveable, to save those who do not deserve to be saved. And as much as I want my daughter to make friends, enjoy school, and fit in even, I do want her to become more like Jesus and know of His love for her, His best for her.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - His good, pleasing and perfect will". Romans 12v2

**By using this verse, I am not saying it is God's will to not give your children a Smartphone. It's just a great verse to challenge us to seek more than what the world has to offer us.

Abundant Living

We are coming to the end of the husband being off from work/church on Sabbatical. He has had nine glorious weeks off, which is a privilege, and we are massively grateful for the time he has been given. There was definately a bit of adjustment needed in the early days; learning to switch off when he has been so busy, learning to rest when he is naturally so active. We tried to take the advice of not having a goal to 'maximise the time off', or to make sure we 'hear from God', or even the pressure to 'enjoy it', but instead to just let it happen, to experience the rest, whilst not wasting the gift that it was. 

One of the absolute highlights was a family holiday to Scotland. This was to be our last holiday as a family unit, (before the eldest gets married) and our first time flying together as a family. Our flights, accomodation and car hire were generously paid for by someone, which again we are so grateful for. The excitement of us all getting up early, driving to Gatwick, getting the shuttle bus together, being in an airport together, and flying together was such a treat for me. I loved having us altogether doing something we've not done before. 

We decided that no one was allowed to opt out of anything, so if we went to a cafe, we all went, if we went to Lidl or Co-op, we all went, if we put a family film on, or played a board game, we all got involved. Everything was therefore hectic, and expensive, but I think I had a smile on my face the whole time. We caused havoc wherever we went just because of the sheer volume of us! In any aisle you walked down in the Co-op, was someone I was related to, and always in a raincoat! Before we came to Scotland, we spent holiday budget on anoraks and waterproof boots. Not quite cocktails and ice creams, but very much needed. 

The first 'adventure' was convincing one of the teens, who had suddenly come down quite poorly, not to be sick in the hire car. Unfortunately he then had no choice but to opt out of the first day's rainy walk, and climbing of waterfalls while he slept off a high temperature. When he was well again, he was rewarded with £2.50 to spend in the Co-op, whilst his siblings had £1.25 each. (It was meant to be £1 but they won with an inflation argument).

The scenery was breathtaking; lochs and snow-capped mountains. Each morning, I wrapped up under a blanket, opened the front door to our little cottage, and looked over Loch Fyne. It's always easier to connect with God, if nature is nearby. Of course, the same family tensions are always with you, because it's all the same people just in a different setting, being forced to be together all the time, and board games always bring out the best in people! But Scotland's greenery is spacious, so once you get past the moans and groans, and give out the snacks, the big outdoors served us well. Waterfalls were climbed, lakes were bravely jumped into, dams were built, dead sheep were prodded, tracks were walked, tunnels were crawled through, and hours were spent having fun in the rain. I will treasure the memories of this little gettaway. 

"I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly". John 10v10

You First

A rare moment this morning, I got to read the Bible and have my cup of tea, before anyone else was awake. I could actually set an alarm and do this every morning but we don't need to cover that today. The littlest of the family is usually an early riser, but this morning she seemed to be enjoying a snoozy half-term moment. Obviously no teenagers were awake, and no one had work to get to. 

I thought back to my mornings over the years; tired from broken sleep and early wakes ups, midnight bed changes and bottles of milk, brain fog and toddlers, brothers not dwelling in unity and sisters' early morning singing. I remember the days when my only Bible study was reading the Jesus Story Book Bible to the kids. Yet I also remember it sustaining me, because of the truth within those pages. 

The younger they are, the more drip feeding of the Bible you can pour into their minds and hearts. It is just part of their daily routine; Bible reading at bedtime, Bible truths over dinner, acting out their favourite Bible passages, eating edible versions of Bible stories. 

As they get older, it gets harder to provide the input in the same way. They may not be readers, so they may adapt to hearing the Bible, or watching the Bible. Maybe they will actually enjoy learning facts and being tested on them.They might be more inclined to read Scripture over a Sausage and Egg McMuffin, with a promised lift to school. They may move to accepting books about the Bible, rather than the Bible itself. (Not an ideal replacement, but better than no input) Maybe they will get an App, and set themselves a reminder, which they will then choose to respond to or ignore.

Some of course, may choose not to want to hear more of what the Bible has to say. This is where you hope and pray that the early input you dripped in, has indeed anchored them.

As I read the Bible this morning, I read the following verses from Phillipians 2 about Christ's example of Humility: "Let each of you look not only to their own interests, but also the interests of others... Jesus emptied himself by taking the form of a servant..."

I am forever grateful that Jesus put others' first, that he 'emptied Himself', that He became like a servant, that He obeyed God the father, even to the point of death. Without this, none of the Bible reading for myself or for my kids would even be worth it. Even if we read it all day every day...it just wouldn't count for anything if Jesus hadn't given Himself to death on a cross, so that we can be forgiven and made righteous before God. 

As a mum, I relate to the words "emptied (Him) self by taking on the form of a servant". Now comparing yourself to Jesus can be a little on the 'not-so-humble' side, and it can be a pretty tenious connection. What Jesus has done for us all, is not comparable with what I do for my family. However, we are told to imitate Christ, and in all honesty some times mumming and 'emptying oneself' do go hand in hand. 

I find the balance hard if I am honest. I want to raise children who will take responsibility for themselves and the world around them. I want them to know how to tidy up after themselves, how to cook and clean, how to be ready for life, or at least for school. But I also enjoy serving them, blessing them, doing stuff for them. 

One of the things I have found out about teenagers, is the wobbly balance between wanting to be fiercely independant, but also really needing our help. Part of 'emptying myself' requires me to choose my battles, to choose when to bring things up, when to point things out, when to explain that they spoke rudely, when to remind them about serving the household. And therefore, when to keep my mouth shut, when to just help them in the moment, when to just serve them. 

There have definitely been moments where I have not done this well, when I have thought about my own interests (MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS IN THE RIGHT!!). But over time, and having processed four teenagers so far, I have seen the benefit of choosing to be servant hearted in the moment, and bringing it up later, if at all. This might just be making their sandwiches and washing their clothes, but it's more likely to be, silently helping them find their homework when you told them last night to put it in their school bag, or quietly driving them to the bus stop because they didn't get out of bed when you asked them to. 

I guess in these moments, if I can empty myself and serve their needs, then I am still dripping the Bible into their lives, by my actions instead of my words. (The other thing I have found out about teenagers is, the less words used, the better). In order to empty myself, I do of course need to be filled in the first place, and then re-filled again. I need to keep coming into God's presence and pondering on what He has done for me. Maybe even open up to Him if I have been keeping my mouth shut elsewhere. Jesus knows what it is like to look on the interests of others, and some.

Food For Thought

I help serve the Kids' Ministry at our church, which I just love. Kids are hilarious! They're great company and come up with such fun ways of looking at things. They say weird and wonderful things. I enjoy watching them be kind to a friend in the room, without anyone else seeing it happen. I like all their different little quirks. I like the predictability of what they are going to play with each week, and when they catch themselves doing something new or out of character. I love the sound of them laughing, just carefree and usually happy just being themselves. We can learn a lot from children, and how they do life. 

I enjoy making Bible stories fun for them, in order for them to grasp a little of the lavish and exuberant character of God. I especially enjoy seeing how we can link the teaching, however tenuous, to a food-craft based activity. It is something I have implemented at home a lot, with my own children. I want them to quite literally, "taste and see that the Lord is good" (Psalm 34v8) 

My favourite go-to edible item, is usually a waffle. They're pretty versitile. You can make a window, a Bible, a harp, an envelope, and a fish to name but a few. I'm sharing them on my Insta page this week. Some of them are terrible, but kids don't seem to mind.

Occassionally, I am stumped for a food-craft to link to the Bible teaching, (and rightly so probably). Last term our theme was, "Jesus, He did what?!",  looking at Jesus' miracles. We replicated the story of when Peter cut a soldier's ear off, and Jesus made it better, with rice crackers (ears), strawberry sauce (blood) and a sword (chocolate fingers). But when it was the story of the woman who had suffered with menstural bleeding for 12 years, we thought it better, to just make toast that week. (Although you could say she was healed by the Bread of Life. See what I did there?!)

This morning was an easy one; the Fruit of the Spirit. I mean it's right there in the title. "...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law". (Galatians v22-23) They had to make a picture, using pieces of cut up apple, banana, melon, peach and pineapple. Some kids were really creative, and some couldn't care less, just munching their way through an A4 piece of paper, covered in fruit. We talked about how plants need light and water to grow. Seeing as Jesus is referred to as Living Water, and the Light of the world, the closer we are to Him, the more these fruits will grow in us. (I also said that children were one of the main ways which cause/help their mums to grow in patience!) At home, we have chatted through Joseph's coat of many colours, using fruit too. It's healthy, and feeds them, as well as 'feeding them' Bible truths, which is of course, really healthy.

One of the kids, during the teaching today was on a roll. He suggested instead of Peacefulness, as one of the Fruits of the Spirit, we should say 'Peachfulness'. Just amazing. He also said we should be full of 'Grapefulness'. Yes!! He really had it all fig-ured out.

Cloud Cover

Last week, I hopped on a plane to Lanzarote. The little mini-break was booked a while back, with a different friend. It was going to be our post-Pnuemonia getaway. We scanned deals for somewhere warm and cheap, with a pool! Only her Pnuemonia didn't go away, so she couldn't come, which was gutting for us both. (I mean, not gutting enough for me not to go. Such the good friend am I). I was either going to head out on my own or grab the sister in law to come with me, which she happily did. 

The blessing of this little holiday was in the nothingness, but that is a whole different blog post!

Where our little apartment was, meant that the sun would rise opposite our balcony. And because we're both mums with bodies and minds wired for the early rise, (despite desperately hoping for a later wake up), one or both of us were up to see it. 

I wrote the following, and sent it to a friend who has experienced her fair share of grey clouds lately, with the hope of it being a blessing and an encouragement to her. I thought maybe it would be a blessing and encouragement for others to read too.

I had the joy of watching the sunrise this morning. I was prepared to enjoy it. I had a blanket over my knees, a cup of tea, my notebook in case I felt inspried and my phone ready to take beautiful pictures. I was a bit disappointed because grey clouds kept covering parts of the sunrise. I couldn't get the photo I wanted. I even looked to the side, over the sea and could see that more grey clouds were on their way, moving quite quickly. I felt God start to speak to me, which if I'm honest, I was a bit annoyed about. Turns out I wanted the nice photo, more than I wanted to actually be inspired!   

I would get a glimpse of the beauty unfolding behind the grey clouds...the pinks, and the oranges, and the occasional hit of bright light. But the clouds kept moving and I couldn't see the full sunrise. Then the sun was just up in the sky. I'd missed all the pretty, breathtaking colours that I wanted to see, to capture and experience, and of course, photograph. 

I felt like God wanted to remind me (and you) of what is happening daily as the sun is rising; the colours, the brightness, the pinks, and oranges, the brightness, the warmth. None of these things aren't there just because the clouds are covering them. In my frustration of it not being what I had hoped for, what I wanted, what I felt I deserved even, I felt God say;

'I am right here. I am in my full glory and power. Can you even grasp the magnitude of that? 

I am in my full gentleness and goodness. Do you know what that means for you? I am all these things, regardless of whether the clouds keep coming. 

My promises, my hope, my victory remain steadfast even when the clouds keep coming. 

The truth of who I am, of what I have done remain true even when the clouds keep coming. 

Regardless of what is on the horizon, I am'.

There were moments of bright warmth, when I was looking at the sunrise. They hit my face, I closed my eyes and it was wonderful. I breathed them in, (which is much easier to do in a sunny country with the kids not around). How often do I think the sun isn't there because I cannot see it or feel it today? How often do I only see the rain, or the grey or the clouds? Does that mean the sun hasn't risen? Of course not. I must  look beyond the clouds even if it is an act of faith, knowing that the sun, the Son is there in all His radiance. He's not dulled down, even by constant clouds that keep coming.

I was reminded of the tomb with the massive stone in front. No one could see what was happening in that dark cave, where death was. The power and the life that was happening, even though no one could see it, was and still is, the greatest power in Heaven and on Earth. Absolutely amazing and faultless. And I have access to that, to Him, every day! He's not dulled down, even by death.

As powerfully as I felt God speak to me watching that first sunrise, still on the second day, I chose to lay in my bed on my phone instead. I know there is no guilt or shame in this, as the mini-break was for much needed rest and recuperation. But I think it's still worth mentioning. It is still a choice to seek Him out each day. 

And on the 3rd morning, I was packing, sorting out the apartment before we were due to fly home, and I nearly missed the sunrise in my busyness. I wanted to see it, I was up early enough, but I got distracted by what needed doing. In God's kindness, a bright ray of sunshine broke through the room, and caught my attention. It is probably my favorite photo of the holiday, because it speaks of His gentle lifting of my gaze to look for His. A wonderful reminder, that He wants to meet with me again today. He wants to get my attention. He wants me to experience His nearness, His warmth, His mercy. A reminder that the Son has indeed risen.

"Let the name of the Lord be praised, both now and forevermore. From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets, the name of the Lord is to be praised".  Psalm 113v2-3