What's the Plan?

I made a Reel yesterday, because I wanted to share a snapshot of the last few months and visuals can really help to capture a moment. But then again, so can the written word...

We are eight months into a new move. That in itself seems ridiculous. I can't quite tell if it feels like we only moved last week, or if we have always been here. When does it stop being a new move?! We were in the last house, the last neighbourhood for twenty years, in the last church for 25 years. That's a lot of time, people, memories, cups of tea, raising kids and blessings to be grateful for. A fair few disagreements and head injuries too! It does feel strange having our old stuff in a new place, our blue sofa in a new lounge (which needed a bit of sledgehammer help on day one to make it fit) our interesting ornaments accompanying us from one shelf to another and I'm pretty sure the husband tactically misplaced some items in the move. 

I remember asking people for advice, as to whether we should move or not, a pendulum swinging with pros and cons. I can mentally play out the tearful, "you should go, but we don't want you to" responses. I remember wanting to have an obvious Neon flashing sign telling us what to do. I remember the lack of peace and literally feeling sick from not knowing; such an unsettling season, but one we know grew us in new ways as a couple and in trusting God. We took wise counsel hearing that sometimes God asks us for obedience, which can actually be easier than the times where He ask us to choose. And sometimes we simply have to see where faith leads us and where faith settles.

I look back on the big prayers I sent up to God, (accompanied by tears and fasting) in regard to the teens - moving teenagers who were knitted into their communities and happy with their Brighton lives. I didn't want them to be damaged in any way by the move, happy for challenges to grow them, but not for the whole experience to break their relationship with mum and dad or with God. I watched as God answered a specific prayer for one of them, and I remember the day the pendulum stopped moving, and we knew our hearts had settled on going. The pain of telling people was no less easy, but knowing our hearts and minds were settled, were at peace, helped us with the trickier parts. 

We came to realise that when buying and selling a house, people have unnerving strories to tell. A bit like labour, everyone has a unique, sometimes terifying narrative! Keeping the house tidy for viewings was a particularly stressful time for one of us in this marriage and a joy bringer to the other! (Similiar to when I got Ofsteded as a Childminder) but we did manage to do a really good de-clutter. Stacey Solomon would have been proud. 

We ended up moving into a temporary home, waiting for our Brighton house to go through. Now the last time we were in temporary accomodation was when we were made homeless and ended up in Eastbourne, but that is another story for another day! This time, we found ourselves in the beautiful home of a couple from our new church. They very generously housed a family of five with spacious bedrooms, cooked meals, card games, and real warmth. Different family members were blessed further by Sky Sports, panda curtains, cornflake apple crumble and a tea tap (well a boiling water tap). They got to witness some raw moments as we processed the move as a family, and they let us help decorate their Christmas tree! A very special home from home, when we needed it.

We moved into our new house two months ago today! People near and far have been very kind with practical help, cards, gifts, flowers, and even postal brownies and cookies. And now we are making this new house our home. The husband has built a wardrobe, a spice rack and a book shelf and I have searched Facebook marketplace for new dining room chairs. The littlest has Panda-ised her bedroom, the oldest has covered his floor in tools. We have shared pancakes and meals at our table, with people who have known us forever and those we are just getting to know. We have had sons and wives come to visit, and have made ourselves known to the neighbours... a funny mix of old and new.

As Spring starts, and Easter gives us the promise of new life, you can't help but wonder what will be? Who will we get to know? What stories will be told? What tears will be shed over a cuppa? What extra mouths will we end up feeding? Whose hearts will bond with ours? Who will stay over? Who will move in? Who will move out? What will get broken here and what will get mended? 

There is a famous Bible verse which says, "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29v11 

We are trusting God that He knows what He is doing. He knows what He is doing with us, what He is growing in us and what He will use us for. We are trusting that He has already thought things through. He has plans for us. He has plans for this household, for this home, for the new chairs around the kitchen table. He has plans for those we left behind and even for teenagers. He doesn't always let us in on the details of those plans, but He does ask us to follow His ways. He's not surprised by circumstances or left wondering what will happen next. His desire is to prosper us, not to harm us. He may well challenge us and grow us along the way, but He has hope for us and a future. Wow, what an encouragement, what a standing we have, what security. It means that when we don't know what the plan is, God does. When we are asking about the 'how comes', the 'what ifs' and the 'whys',  we may not get a flashing Neon sign but we know God is faithful, He can be trusted, He wants good for us and He will direct us, whether we move or whether we stay right where where we are. 

The Truth Will Set You Free

So last night along with over 11 million others, we tuned into the Celebrity Traitors final and it did not disappoint. TV Gold! As we all gathered around the TV, it reminded me of childhood moments where we would eat our dinner on wicker edged trays in front of the tele, for a night of Gladiators or You've been framed or even more recently, Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway. In a fast paced world where we can binge a whole series at the touch of a button, where we can skip the adverts, or swipe to something more entertaining, it was really nice to have to wait for something. Explaining to the kids that this was what it was like in the olden days when we were young, just brings them to despair.

As I mentioned in my previous blog post, our youngest hasn't been staying up to watch it with us. She has played catch up the following day, so I can talk into it or skip the Wailing Banshees. Apparently last night, she heard us scream and shout at the television while she was in bed (with good reason, I might add). This morning she watched it before school, because she didn't want to hear the result elsewhere. I watched her as she watched the drama unfold, making the same comments and assumptions that I had made the night before. Then the moment for the red or green flames came. That 3rd green flame popped onto the screen and she gasped, leapt out of her seat and grabbed her face. Then silence, as she stood in shock wondering how this had just happened. It reminded me of when I first watched Frozen; a friend of mine watched me as it was revealed that Hans wasn't in fact a love interest, who finished Anna's sandwiches. He was indeed, in every sense a traitor. 

As we gathered my youngest's bags together for school, she honed in on Alan's tears. Why had he got so upset? Hurrah, I love it when TV throws up questions and ponderings that I can answer with a Biblical framework. I asked her how she felt when she knew she was lying to me or to dad. She said she was unsure what the feeling was but it was in her belly and she wanted to put her head in the pillow and cry. There is, or at least should be, something quite unsettling about lying and deceiving people. This is what Alan's tears were about. The game had made him lie to people, lie about people, and hurt friends even. He had to throw them out of a game they were enjoying, not quite a literal stab people in the back but emotionally pretty much so. The game required him to push the blame, talk about people, cause people to doubt, trick people and see one of them put in a coffin. A lot to shoulder personally, but brilliant to watch.

Carrying that level of deceit was a burden for him. I guess in a way, it spoke of Alan's character outside of the show, the fact that it upset him that much to lie to people and deceive them. We have all been on the recieving end of betrayal or lies spoken about us. It's a horrible feeling, and Alan was the one having to do that. Even in a game format, with his humour, great jackets and witty comments, that was a heavy weight to bear. We often speak to the kids about telling the truth, because lies break relationship. We use Lego to talk about the effect of lies. When Lego is put together it builds something beautiful, something cool, fun and strong which is what we hope for with our relationships with our kids. When there is deceit and lies, it breaks that beautiful thing. We break the Lego at this point to show the point visibly. Thankfully both Lego and trust in relationships can be re-built. (Not all relationships can or should be rebuilt of course, but forgiveness of betrayal is a healthy aim and an antedote to bitterness).

I told my youngest that Alan in that moment, was finally able to share the burden he had been carrying and say sorry for it. He was able to be honest and truthful which came as a huge relief to him. The remaining faithfuls had to somehow process their own dealings with betrayal whilst comforting their friend, and reminding him it was a game well played I shared this Bible verse with her; "...you will know the truth and the truth will set you free". John 8v32. I spoke about how telling the truth especially after a previous lie, brings freedom. In this case, the Bible verse beforehand is actually talking about knowing God's word, knowing the Bible, and living according to it. This is the truth which brings freedom. Freedom from the burden of

 sin, freedom from death, freedom from condemnation, freedom from the law. I guess that is what I was aiming to do when I brought Biblical truth to my youngest this morning. It's also the reason that her name means Truth. We want nothing less for her. 

100% Faithful

I recieved an email notification saying that someone had commented on one of my blog posts. I was keen to see who I had encouraged, who I had passed some wisdom onto, who was grateful for my writing and keen to tell me how I had blessed them. I was quickly humbled when I saw that the comment was from a company asking if I needed an affordable reliable toothbrush supplier in India. They had clearly not even read the blog post, and I clearly do not need to bulk order toothbrushes in India. 

This wasn't even my most humbling moment with the blog. I was once at a Christian ladies conference, where the guest speaker had said how encouraging and thought-provoking she had found my blog to be. It was a blessing to her as she read it in the early hours of the morning with a little one in arms. Wow! In the break at said conference, someone informed me that they didn't get what all the hype was in regards to One Pink Toothbrush. They actually found the posts quite boring and reading them had literally caused them to fall asleep. They smiled as they said it, and they meant no offence of course. None taken of course, as I removed the dagger from my back! 

And do you know what that got me thinking about? Traitors! Ha - a tenious link, but one I'm not ashamed to use. I am obsessed as are millions of other people, so it seems. Some people have even been known to dress up as Claudia; the fingerless gloves, the fringe, the eyeliner, the wintery style. A huge round of applause for the casting; actual known celebrities, rather than hopeful wannabes. Even Claudia is in awe; watching well known faces voluntarily dunk those well known faces into wells of cold water. Watching them jump off of bridges hoping that all is still in tact. You've got theatrics, drama, horse-led funerals, Tom Daley's side eye, the big-dog theory, a passionate Scotsman, unlikely friendships, the farting incident, and of course Alan looking conspicuous in everything he says and does. It's TV gold, and we can't even binge it. We've all been forced into weekly viewings, scheduling our diaries, our families, to be available for the next episode. 

One of my daughters watches it the following day as 9pm is a little on the late side for her, and I like to know what is coming up so I know what to skip past. For example, as funny as the Screaming Banshees were, (from the vocalist who recorded them to the legendary Celia copying them) my little one's active imagination would not have allowed her to settle into a restful night's sleep. I want her to engage with the people, the competition and the fun, not the eerily weird, dark element that is a far cry from her usual viewing.

As you know, I do like to bring the Bible into my parenting whenever I can, especially in regards to TV viewing. It's too good an opportunity to waste, but it would have been particularly annoying for the adults I have been watching the series with. They may well have given me the side eye too. So I asked what Biblical themes we could remind ourselves of. We started strong with, "Do not murder". Or more precisely, do not plan someone's murder, while in a green cloak and laughing about it from a tower. We discussed lying to people, lying and gossipping about people, lying and gossipping and causing others to do the same. Ha, there really is a lot in there once you get started. A frequent subject to discuss with the kids is in regards to judging others. As Christians, we may do things differently to others, hold different views on things, but Jesus talks a lot about not judging people. In Traitors, everyone is judging everyone all the time, based on what they see or hear or percieve or thought they heard or previosuly knew about the person, or even how they enter the breakfast room. One judgement that we have collectively agreed on, is that the Faithfuls have been useless at finding Traitors. An easy judgement to make from the comfort of our own sofas.

In the programme, when someone is rewarded with the Sheild, they are protected. Alan can't send them off to their demise as he laughs in the tower. (Brilliant viewing, but makes no sense if you haven't watched it.) The Bible talks about God being our protector, shielding us from evil. The shield of faith is in action when we choose to trust God. Our greatest reward is not through something we have achieved or earned, or dug in our own grave. We have the shield of Protection because of what Jesus has done for us. 

And finally... wait for it... Jesus is 100% Faithful. It's cheesy but it's true. 

Not so much in the celebrity version of this show, but usually the contestants are stating how faithful they are. They are completely faithful, utterly faithful. They are 100% faithful. They are the most faithful that has ever been faithful. They swear on their mums. They swear on their kids (which coincidentally is another Biblical topic to look into). Some of them are indeed faithfuls as they say these things. And some of those swearing to be faithfuls, aren't even faithful at all. Maybe they are 'Faithful to the Traitors' as Jonathan Ross wonderfully declared. Are any of them truly, completely faithful? Can any one of us say that we are? Think about your favourite faithful from this current series; (mine was the passioante Scot) they will have still got things wrong in their lives. They will have let people down, maybe even hurt them. Pretty sure they haven't mudered anyone. But just like you and me, there will be stuff... the sin, the bagagge, the regrets, the pain, the betrayal. What they need, what we all need is someone who has not one blemish to their name, one who was actually murdered, who stood in our place, a sinless Saviour; one who is unchanging, true to His word and keeps all His promises. One who is the ultimate Faithful.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness". Lamentations 3v22-23