We all ate together for breakfast this morning, a planned rare occassion. We mainly aim instead, to get our dinners together as a family, wherever possible. When life was normal (if we can remember back then) some needed breakfast at 6:45am and others at 8am, so as a result, breakfasts are rarely eaten together in our house. (Maybe we could change this for lockdowns going forward, as we might not get the opportunity again).
So we let the late sleepers sleep in a bit, said there would be orange juice (a rare treat) and planned to do/watch church a little later. As they all came into the kitchen, I explained that the meals of today could be related to a slightly obscure tower in the Bible, and asked if they could guess which one. They are totally used to this, and probably occassionaly bored by it. Less so, when food is involved of course, the fickle beings that they are. God's word, the Bible literally says the following..."Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up". Deuteronomy 6v5-7One Pink Toothbrush
Sunday, 24 January 2021
Ebenezer, not Scrooge
Wednesday, 20 January 2021
Shape of You
A Vlog and a Blog today! It's because I have just so much spare time lately, what with all these kids at home, home learning and buidling relationship with each other and with me...although to be fair, a product of Lockdown is that your evenings are free!
I had a little window to do a Vlog, after a stressy tearful hour multiplying various numbers. I stayed in the girls' room, sat on the floor amidst Barbies, a Spa set up, and a discarded whiteboard of sums. I was hiding, and hoping no one needed me. The girls had been released to put a screen on, and I was hoping and trusting that the boys were somewhere on a lesson.In the quiet, I was reminded that last week I felt God speaking to me about Him shaping me. Him shaping me instead of circumstance, Him shaping me instead of Lockdown, Him shaping me instead of HomeLearning. It was just thoughts I was thinking, so it was hard to know if it was God speaking. Then someone shared in a Devotional video about people letting the life of Jesus shape them. I was also struck by the different things you can shape; character, eyebrows, a beard, converstaion, creative decisions to name a few. And for me, if it's a reoccurring whisper or nudge, or kick up the bum and it lines up with the Bible, I try to take my fingers out my ears and listen, in case it's God whispering.
Feel free to watch the Vlog. Anyway, as a result of the subject of 'being shaped', I made some biscuit dough and explained to the girls that God shapes us, if we allow Him to. As I was teaching them, I suggested they shape their own biscuits to get an idea of God shaping them. I explained that God didn't use a cookie cutter when He made them. He didn't make them exactly like other people. He made them unique, and if they listen to God's best for their lives, He will shape them from the inside out. I explained that God shapes us through His Word, the Bible, through church or Kids TV, through us as their parents, through worship, and through the wisdom of others. Or they could choose instead to allow themselves to be shaped by those around them, their circumstances, movies they watch, TV, and as they get older Social Media.
The girls shaped their biscuits, and wondered what God was thinking when He designed them and shaped them. We wondered which parts He spent longer on, which parts made Him smile, which parts seemed annoying or confusing right now, but might grow into something different, which parts God might use in the future, which parts of us were like parts of Him, which parts He thought were the best parts of us, which characteristics He chose uniquely for us. And we ate cookie dough whilst doing so.
I was struck by the picture I had taken, of the things which surrounded the girls while they were shaping their biscuits. I mean some mums may have cleared the whole table before embarking on baking, but one of the benefits of a table that sits eight people every day, is that there is always a little space that can be made, in amongst the mayhem. The photo includes things that literally have potential to shape me... caffiene, chocolate spread, sheer mess, home learning, the future worries (well an empty 2021 diary), the TV controller, and stuff I listen to. I'm not sure the fish, German phrases and a poster on Puberty will shape me too much. But as always when teaching the kids, there seems a lot for me to learn too.
"Then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature". Genesis 2v7
"But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand". Isaiah 64v8
Saturday, 16 January 2021
An Hour in the Life of Home Learning...
Monday, 11 January 2021
Mouth to Mouth
A friend of mine shared a memory this week, of when she had said to her child that if they didn't go to sleep, they wouldn't be able to watch Cbeebies the next morning. Instant regret! Because us mothers know that Cbeebies is one of the best babysitters out there, especially in the mornings where there's the possibility of getting an extra 5mins in bed. And of course, it didn't work, so it was a painful morning all round the next day. (Although I must add, the fact that she stuck to it, was a parenting win).
What comes out of our mouths can be a real mixture, or at least for me it is. With our mouths, we can speak life, and encouragment to our kids, and those around us. Our mouths can bring challenge, and perspective. Our mouths can speak the good of the gospel, hope-filled and truth-filled. Also our mouths can tear down, or cause upset, especially with a classic case of 'speaking before thinking'. Many a regretted comment has come out of my mouth, comments that I wish had stayed put and not ventured out of my lips. It's worse for those of us who speak a little more than others!
This week, I managed some "top parenting" when I was cross with one of my children. I asked them what they were thinking after I had just told them off. They then had the audacity to actually tell me what they were thinking. I therefore told them off again and sent them to their dad. Their dad ageeed that I may have overreacted...that I may have invited a response without being ready to hear a response. (When one is calm, this is actually a really useful tool, having your child tell you what they're thinking during a discussion. When one is not so calm, it's probably best avoided).
Sometimes it's better to keep the mouth closed altogether. Wearing a mask daily, is a good reminder to guard what we say. (I should probably start wearing mine at home to help this process). Other times its best, right even, to open it, and speak up.
It's worth mentioning too, that we often remember just as keenly, the negative speech spoken towards us and over us, as well as the life giving words. I remember a teacher of mine saying she looked forward to reading my written work, my essays, because she found them humorous and enjoyable. I want my speech to have the same long-lasting affect that her words have had on me, on those around me but especially those inside my household.
I think as a mum, we have real power to speak joy into our homes. (Often we can open our mouths and somehow inadvertantly manage to stick our foot completely in it. At times with teenagers for example, it doesn't matter what is said, it's received how they want to hear it). Thankfully the mouth can and must be used to say we are sorry, as well as using itto offer grace and forgiveness.
Words uttered can also cause eyebrows to be raised or laughter to follow, especially if you are trying to be serious at the time. I have four boys, so usually it all goes to pot, if balls or nuts are mentioned, even in the loosest of terms. They can't seem to help themselves, and it's only made worse if I try to clarify what I mean. I tend to roll my eyes and walk away at this point. But today, I outdid myself....
The male child species can sometimes be seen puffing out their chest. I guess they are marking their territory (definately better than peeing in the corner). Sometimes they are proving they are the Alpha male. Sometimes it's simply because I have already banned them from touching each other, so it's their way of still annoying their sibling. One of those grey areas that kids find.
Today after one such display, I heard myself saying to two of them, "You know who has the biggest chest around here? I do. My chest is the biggest. And when you're puffing yours out, you're actually competing with me, and you wont win". Needless to say, the two boys gaffawed their way up the stairs in hysterics, and the moment was dispersed.
Now for some kind of godly wrap up, to finish this post....
The Bible says A LOT about what comes out of our mouths. Here's a link to 100 verses on the subject, should you really want to study it. But I'll highlight just a couple.
"Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body". Proverbs 16v24
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear". Ephesians 4v29
Sunday, 3 January 2021
New Year, New You (or Not)
It's a new year, Whoop Whoop! 2020 can do one!
It's 2021...anything can happen... the world's our oyster... new year, new you.... Gotta be in it to win it... fresh start... new year's resolutions... open a new chapter... life begins... adventure awaits... new beginnings... when one door closes, another one opens...
But of course, we're all a bit shattered and worn down, by the previous year, so actually we would rather curl up under the duvet, than tentatively see what is behind Door Number '21. We'd rather not open a new chapter, as we're a bit shocked by the one we just lived through. How can we look forward to a fresh start when the world is feeling pretty stale?! Instead of fresh air, weve got our own musty masked breath to breathe in. It's hard to think about the newness of life, when we're actually faced with the reality of death and loss. Adventure itself, has been whittled down to, "I got pasta today", and the new me, is simply just the same old me, just a bit slower, and lonlier, and no one actually likes Oysters!
Well, that was a quick turn of emotion from hope to despair. But I think sometimes that can be what is wrong with new year's resolutions; they promise so much, and then disappointment creeps in, either through circumstance or in my case, a sheer lack of discipline. The husband has always been a Monday person... he loves the hope and fresh start that a Monday brings. He owns it. It's his for the taking. It's a blank canvas. Anything can happen, and he actually plans for it to happen, and sees it through, so it does indeed happen. I've always admired this about him, (shh don't tell him) but admired it from a distance, whilst avoiding him on these days in case he inspires me.
I made a vlog the morning of New Year's Day, on my own, out of the house, in a car park with a cuppa, watching people out on cold walks. (Side note, some people have excellent coats, like sleeping bags with a hole for the legs, and some people's dogs are better warmed than I am). Anyway, I guess I felt a glimmer of 'newness' on that morning. I dropped my son off to his Pops' house, to walk a few hours over the Downs, back to our house. (Thankfully only two people can walk together presently, otherwise they may have invited me, and no one needs that much inspiration on the first day of a new year). I took my new Lou Felli journal with me, in the hope of a bit of me time, a bit of reflection, maybe to start the year with a bit of intentionality, and I ended up doing a vlog saying all that I guess. Took seven minutes to say what you can write in one sentence.
And regardless of whether you're a fresh Monday person, or a stale Saturday kind of person, the thing that we all have to come back to, is Scipture. I'm not very good at consistently reading my Bible. Maybe this year will be different, maybe it wont. I've read two out of the three days from the Bible reading plan, so that's over 60% success so far. However, I have read enough of the Bible over the years (obviously you can never read 'enough' of it), to know that the Bible does talk a lot about newness. It talks a whole load about being weary, resting and needing strengthening too...
But newness is up there, simply and quite astonishingly because of what Jesus has done. Whether you're feeling inspired for the new year ahead, or you're crawling through with the burdens of last year on your back, Jesus remains the same. And He came to restore, to refresh and to rescue. He came to bring His new mercies, to make us a new creation, to give us new birth, to secure a new hope, to gift us with a new heart, so we may live a new way, and live in the goodness of a new life; a life with Him. And that is always a good place to start.
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 1 Peter 1v3
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 corinthians 5v17I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36v26
Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3v13-14
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43v18-19
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end;
they are *new every morning; great is your faithfulness. lamentations 3v22-23
Monday, 26 October 2020
Trick or Treat
I have been asked to put pen to paper, or fingers to keypad, in relation to Halloween. I think I have steered clear of blogging about it in the past, because on the estate where I live, it's celebrated and enjoyed by most people. It's a real bringing together of the community, with houses decked out, hundreds of Trick or Treaters and amazing make up (see my friends in the below photo). I wouldn't want to offend my local friends. But hopefully they know me, and trust that I'm not trying to spook them (see what I did there), or ram my views down their throats, I'm just putting my views out there, because another mum has asked.
The Bible is very clear about avoiding witchcraft, and mediums, and occult activity, but it doesn't say. "Thou shalt not carve a pumpkin". The Bible is very clear that there is a spiritual world; forces of evil and good. But the Bible doesn't say, "thou shalt not collect candy, wearing a pointy hat".
For us, we teach our kids that there is Good in the world and there is evil, and we want to steer clear of evil. People quite like to believe that there may be angels, but not so much the darker side of things The Bible describes the evil one as prowling around, looking to destroy. If there was an actual animal, like a lion prowling down my street, wanting to destory my kids, I would do everything in my power to protect them from it. And I want to do the same for them, spiritually.
Christians have differing views on Halloween, and that's okay as long as we don't 'allow our own convictions about a holiday to cause division in the body of Christ, nor can we use our freedom to cause others to stumble in their faith. We are to do all things as to the Lord'. (Quote from GotQuestions.Org) Growing up, we didn't have anything to do with Halloween. We didn't answer the door to Trick or Treaters, and that's ok. That's how my parents wanted to deal with it, and it really taught me that the darker side of life, should be avoided. Others embrace the full dress up, in a fun, less spooky way.
With my own kids, we have varied what we have done over the years. They don't go Trick or Treating, and at school they can opt out of activities if they want to, knowing that colouring in a Pumpkin isn't going to kill them. But based on the starting paragraph, we have tended to want to bless our community. Everyone is coming to our front door, and we know God doesn't turn people away, so we have wanted to show this in our actions. We have given out a good treat, and stuck a verse on it; God being the light of the world, or Jesus coming to save us. I'm not convinced anyone has come to know Jesus because of it, but it's our way of sticking to what we feel is right, and loving our friends and our community.
We've tried to explain that the Halloween holiday is different culturally for some people and countires. And we aim to be non judgemental no matter what others views are. We teach into the history of the holiday; the day after being All Hallows Day, when people would pray for past christians that had died. (Seems a little pointless, if they were already dead, but that's for another day...) And the imagery was that the goblins and witches would come out the night before to hinder those prayers. And trick or treating came from the poor asking to exchange food for prayers for the dead. I mean, there's a whole load of stuff in there?! We aim with our kids, to teach into magic, darkness, things designed to cause fear, and where the line between good and evil isn't very clear. (For example in regards to Harry Potter, but again, that's for another day...)
We want them to live as children of the light in a world of darkness, believing that Jesus came to be that light. He came to protect us from the evil one who wants to destroy us. He would literally give the prowling lion a kicking, so that it wouldn't be able to get to my kids.
If you show a child (and let them eat) a slice of cake or pie, explaining that the 'thin end of the wedge', is just the very start of the slice, but how tempting the wide bit of the cake or pie is...you can relate that to what seems like the 'harmless' bits of Halloween; the dressing up and eating sweets, in relation to an enemy who wants to destroy them. Kids do remember teaching more if they can see, feel and especially taste it. Mmm I fancy some pumpkin pie now. (This is a not so subtle hint to my friend who makes them!!)
So we've tried to teach into these areas when we watch films, programmes and see things around. We had to also underline with one very literal child, that he wasn't to shout "Halloween, turn it off" whenever he saw a pumpkin, skeleton or a spider on the TV, and remind him that God did make spiders, skeletons and pumpkins, and we're not to fear the pumpkin!
Mainly, my kids don't want to miss out on sweets! So we make sure they have sweets or treats to enjoy, explaining that God loves to give and He says to taste and see that He is good. We've not allowed our younger children to go to the door to give out treats, simply because the faces and masks can be super scary, and I don't want to expose them to things that will scare them, or numb them to what is actually scary. Sometimes we have celebrated light, during what can be a bit of a darker evening, simply with light up balloons and glow sticks, but mainly they just want the sweets!
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them". Ephesians 5v8-11
My friend has designed a Halloween Activity Sheet, if you'd like to purchase the printable. And this 3minute spoken word from Glen Scrivener, is a great watch.
Saturday, 24 October 2020
We're All In This Together
It feels like quite a big deal to open the laptop, and attempt to put my thoughts on paper. I don't know about you, but the longer I go into this Pandemic, the more some things seem quite free to leave, (which is a bit ironic as so many people aren't actually free to leave). I've watched creativity leave, closely followed by effort, energy, writing skills, new ideas, the ability to focus, and the desire to see people, just slowly up and leave. I didn't even try to stop them. I literally opened the door, and let them walk right out. The ability to stay awake, literally legged it as soon as it knew it could wander off.
So, time for a blog because I'm reminded that mums need to know that other mums feel the same, otherwise we assume everyone is doing better than we are and then the mum guilt, life guilt kicks in...Afterall, we're all in this together, as the new slogan goes.
And not just mums, it seems like the whole world is tired. 2020 is quite the year isn't it?! Disappointments, redundancies, cancellations, changes, 'the new normal', mask wearing, social distancing, plastic screens, Government changes, the Rule of 6 as a House of 8, Zoom meetings, and online life, as well as the normal hardships that life throws our way.
I miss church so much. I think I have realised just how much I relied on
church. I was encouraged by an interview I recently watched, with Andrew and Rachel Wilson. They said that it is right amd expected to find the lack of in-person church, spiritually exhausting. We were designed to be together. But I think I may have relied on church for my own spiritual journey, my own walk with God, and without it, I've found that really hard too.I'm so impressed with what has gone into making online church happen. From churches that have hardly any resources or people, to ones that can do a bit more, go a bit further. There is no lack of what you can find online, with Daily Devotions, kids worship albums, quizes, Kids Tv, Zooms, worship, Small Groups, and Alpha, as well as church services. I know it's not the same, we all know it's not the same, it's very different, but the resource is wonderful, and the effort people have put in is amazing. I'm pretty sure that when the Israelites crossed the Red Sea, with huge walls of water either side of them, a few may have said, 'well this is different'.
I do find Sunday mornings quite hard. I think I'm desperate to worship, hear a preach, with my own church community, but the kids are kids, and don't seem to have the same desire in the same way, and the husband is often on screen rather than watching it with us. And funnily enough, when my attitude is better, it does go better. The Bible encourages us to 'go and make disciples', and this is an ongoing action with our children, not just a Sunday morning activity. Likewise for me and God, my walk with Him can't just be dependant on a Sunday morning's input. Thankfully He's available, every day of the week. He came to us, entered our world, to save us, to love on us, to demonstrate that He is with us, that we are all indeed in this together. Now that is a resourse!
I thought I'd share some helpful tips from myself and others, which may encourage your Sunday mornings, your online church engagement, with kids. I haven't done all of these, (advice is much easier than practise), and those I have done, I have found a range of success and failure in. And probably best to state here, for comparison's sake, that I have passionately shouted, on a Sunday morning, "Would you all just shut up so I can worship", at my darling children.
Tips;
*Set and manage your own expectations/attitude. (Easier said than done, in this current season, but God hasn't changed and He promises to strengthen us).
*Pray beforehand. Go 'expectant' of God to speak to and through you and your kids. (Who could we bless as a family? Who could we pray for? Leave a voice memo prayer for someone. This can help with just 'watching/consuming' church and actively doing church).
*Teach into 'an enemy who wants to destroy' and distract, from church involvement.
*Teach into the importance of church, church community, (committment and serving too) kids ministry, youth work. And acknowledge the difficulties of this season.
*Research beforehand what your children can do/watch/be part of. (If your church isn't doing something, find a church that is. Support what your church is doing, but feel free to add to it).
*No screens before church (So their first screen engagement is church, and there's not a battle to get them off).
*Plan to Sabbath well... what yummy food could you eat during or after church? Even bake with the kids on the Saturday. (But not something that adds stress to the morning). Make it the best hour of their week, your week.
*Colouring books, notebooks for doodles during preaches. (Effective for adults too).
*Do what works best for your family? ....A song and your own teaching, or an online resource all involved as a family...Kids doing something in another room while you do church/zoom... 'do' the service later when kids are in bed...make toys available, like Lego or colouring whilst you engage....all be in for church and talk through it all....kids tune into their church whilst Facetiming other kids from church...kids get their teddies to be part of the congregation...do some ironing while watching, so kids are less likely to bother you (If you sit, kids will want your attention. Just happens).
*Keep going. Try again. Forgive them. Give yourself grace. Talk to God. Repeat next week.
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching." Hebrews 10v24-25