The Life Of a Dishcloth (Part One)

Last Sunday at church, one of the elders had a picture of a dried up dish cloth. He said that God had shown him a picture of a cloth on the side of a sink, which was dry and really in need of getting in the water. 
I thought of the cloth which lives on the side of my sink, at home. It does get used quite a lot; slaving away at the plates and mugs and saucepans, wiping the table after breakfast, lunch and dinner, clearing up spills of milk, juice and coffee.

The life of a mother and the life of a dishcloth are closely intertwined it seems. The dish cloth can look quite tired and worn out. Yep, that sounded like me that day. The dish cloth can become easily stained as it delves into whatever mess it has to clear up. Yep, me again. Sometimes I look at my clothes at the end of the day and I can't even name what it is that has found it's way onto me. (The worst of these moments is when there is no time to change and we're out at a church meeting or guests arrive for dinner!) The dish cloth can even start to smell a bit, that slightly stagnant smell. Ditto! Ah how the life of a dishcloth can mirror my life indeed! I was feeling all washed up on the side of the sink of life.The every day jobs, (which I'd started seeing as chores) of being a mum and a wife had left me feeling washed up, dried up, stained, over used and possibly verging on smelling quite bad too! Was God really telling an elder at church that I was in need of a shower?

I knew that the cloth on the side of my sink was in desperate need of a soaking. In it's dried up state it was of no use to anyone. It needed to soak in hot, soapy water, washing powder and even bleach. Thankfully God wasn't telling me publicly that I needed to have a shower, but instead that I needed a good soak. So I told the elder that I was indeed the dishcloth, and He and some female friends prayed for me. My Heavenly Father was gently reminding me yet again to come into His loving arms and soak in Him. I humbly came into His presence and asked Him to revive and refresh this worn out, tired and stained old dish cloth. In my dried up state, I too was of no use to anyone. I realised that 'serving' only feels like chores when I'm not soaking in God. Stains only feel permanent when I'm not soaking in the truth of being washed clean. Feeling tired and worn out just remain the same, unless I jump into Living Water. And even that  unpleasant stagnant smell only leaves with a good soak in Radox. Now when I look at the dish cloth on the side of the sink, I do smile at the life that it has, and the reminder that it holds for me.

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out,

that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,"

                                                                                  Acts 3v19

I reckon there is more to say on The Life Of a Dishcloth.

Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire

Today my son lied to me. One of those 'little' lies. He said a no when he should have said a yes. When I asked him why? He shrugged. He wasnt sure, it just happened, he just didn't want to get in trouble.

Yesterday I lied to a mum on the school run. One of those 'little' lies. I said a yes when I should have said a no. I asked myself why? I shrugged. I wasn't sure, it just happened, I just wanted her to like me.

Why did we lie? Because we both feared man, more than we feared God. My son feared a telling off, so he quickly lied. And I feared the mum's rejection, so I quickly lied. If we had both feared God, we wouldn't have worried what man thought. We would have cared what God thought, and we would have told the truth! We would have both realised that a 'little' lie, is a lie. A lie is a sin. And God hates sin.

My son was disciplined because he had lied to me. And he had to say sorry, but was quickly forgiven. I humbly had to tell the mum I had lied to her, but was quickly 'let off' (as opposed to forgiven). And I had to say sorry to God, because the sin was actually against Him. Thankfully, I was quickly forgiven.

"Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being,
and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart."

                                                      Psalm 51v6

Navel-Gazing

A blog post written by a pregnant, overdue friend of mine. (Wife of 'One Blue Toothbrush')

Navel Gazing; (Oxford Dictionary Definition) 'complacent concentration on oneself or a single issue at the expense of a wider view'.

The last 6 days have been challenging. I have been somewhat absorbed in waiting for the arrival of the next Simmo baby! On Monday I had a few quiet moments while the two big girls were at school and the little one was sleeping, so I decided to open my bible. I have started reading the Chronological Bible this year; I’m a few days behind but turned to the right date and read “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge? Brace yourself like a man” Job 38:1-3

Ouch!! There I was thinking I was going to turn to a comforting piece of scripture and instead my heavenly Dad, who loves me and delights in me, thought it was time I stopped sulking and started looking up! In the passage, God continues to question Job; asking Job where he was while He was creating. As I read on I felt my gaze lifted to the God of heaven who holds all things in His hands and is more than able to sustain me in the last weeks of pregnancy. 

Since then I’d love to say that I have responded with grace to all those well meaning people who ask if I’m ‘still here?’ or ask 'has the baby come yet?', I'd love to say that I’ve been kind to the girls when they’ve frustrated me, that I’ve put Matt first but it wouldn’t be true! However there have definitely been times when I’ve chosen to lift my eyes off myself and onto the One who can help me.


Today, I could have chosen to stay shut away, waiting impatiently for this baby or instead believe that God has things for me to do today. It was such a joy to be able to pray with a friend this morning, to help lift her gaze, to point her to Jesus and hopefully encourage her. 


Lifting our eyes off of ourselves and our circumstances and fixing our eyes on our Heavenly Father changes everything. It changes our perspective to look to the One who has laid the foundations of the earth. Declaring truth to one another and to ourselves gives strength and stops us navel-gazing!

“I lift my eyes up to the hill. 

From where does my help come? 

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.”

                                   Psalm 121:1

Marlon and Me

A rare treat in our house; my son chose 'Finding Nemo' to watch today. It's a treat because the older two have grown out of it, or so they think. And the younger two (influenced by their older brothers) tend to choose films with spies in them, or superhero dogs or Jedi knights. So I was happy that calm and gentle Nemo was chosen today. I made the choice to sit and watch it with them, zone out for a while, rather than think about the washing and the dirty plates which wanted my attention.

As I was watching, I realised that the whole story of Nemo getting lost, is pretty much all his dad Marlon's fault. He starts off a bit on the over protective side; so fearful for his son. He jumps to the wrong conclusion about Nemo. He assumes he was about to make a bad choice, and swim out to the butt. But actually Nemo was explaining to his friends that his dad wouldn't want him to. He then doesn't listen to Nemo, and then embarrasses Nemo in front of his friends!

Oh Marlon, why must you remind me of my own parenting? Must I really compare myself to a Clown Fish? Why cant I just watch the film, and enjoy it? I don't want to be challenged about not listening to my children. I don't want to think that there is the possibility that I may jump to the wrong conclusions about their actions. I definitely don't want to think that sometimes I tell them off publicly and embarrass them, rather than deal with their behaviour in private. It would have been easier to go and do the washing and the dirty plates, rather than think about these things.

Oh Marlon, Marlon, Marlon why wont you accept Dory's help, when you need it to help your son? Are you really that proud? She may have a few issues, but does that mean you can't give her the time of day? I wonder if I've missed someone's advice because I've pre judged them? Or missed their help because I was too proud? What if they were right? What if they could actually speak whale?

Marlon, my fishy friend, I watch and see how wrong you get it, but I also see the love that you have for your boy. And I'm happy to compare myself to you now. You make some bad choices, and you do let your boy down. But you do fight for his life, you do go to extreme measures in order to rescue him. Like any good parent, you happily take on the jelly fish!

As I watch the film, I start thinking. Im drawn to think about my Heavenly Father's parenting of me. I think about how grateful I am, that He never makes bad choices. He never embarrasses me. He always knows my heart's motivation behind my actions. He always listens to me. He protects me but allows me to make my own choices. He still accepts me when I mess up in my pride and swim towards the butt! He most victoriously fought for my life when I deserved death, and He went to extreme measures to rescue me!

I also get to thinking that if I'm comparing myself to a fish, then I should probably turn the television off and get out a bit more!

 "For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear,
 but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons,
  by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.."
                                                                                             Romans 8v15-16

Heavenly Jelly

This morning, my four year old was taunting his younger brother by holding his new Christmas present just out of reach. The way that only an older sibling knows how to. (I would know, I have one!) When I questioned his actions, he explained that he was helping his little brother to be selfless!

Now we do use the 'selfless' word quite a lot in our household, but I guess after hearing his response, it needs more teaching into! We give the boys lots of opportunities to be selfless. When there is only one jelly available after dinner, we explain that some boys need to be selfless and go without, and let their brother have it. 
When it's DVD time, everyone chooses their favourite, and then we ask who is going to be selfless and let their brother have the best.


One of my boys is naturally more selfless. He is made in the image of God, as all of us are, but this characteristic really shines brightly through him. He recently asked us if he needs to be selfless every time, and to be honest, I understand why he would ask. He regularly sacrifices what is best for him, in order that one of his brothers has the best instead. So much so, that we have to choose for him sometimes, so that he does get to enjoy a jelly or a DVD at times.

Sometimes it's hard to give the right answers to the boys. Sometimes I want to soften the blow of the gospel. It is shocking. But softening the blow of the gospel, would result in me watering down the word of God, which I definitely don't want to do! But the answer to his question is 'Yes'. Yes he is to be selfless every time. And not in a legalistic way, but in recognition of God's selfless, undeserved grace that He shows us. Every time we are selfless, we are remembering how selfless God the father is. He gave us His only son to die in our place, for our sins, and take the punishment we deserve. And every time we are selfless, we are worshipping Him! So, the answer to my son was  a resounding yes. Not a watered down, "No it's okay to put yourself first sometimes" response, to make it easier for him. But what a challenge it was to say that Yes to him. Thankfully of course, that 'Yes' comes with great grace, and I get to teach him that too. I also get to teach him that what he gives up here, His Heavenly Father will give him back many times over - Heavenly jelly probably rocks!

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,
 not looking to your own interests
 but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2V3-4

I Want It Now!

Over Christmas, we watched some great old films with the boys; 'Honey I shrunk the kids', 'Home Alone' with the oldest and one of my favourites, 'Willy Wonka & the Chocolate factory'. Once the boys got over the hilarity of 'willy' being in the title of the film, they watched in awe at all the magical moments which I remember enjoying as a little girl. One of my favourite scenes features the wallpaper that you can lick which tastes of strawberries and snozzberries. In my magical childhood world, this would be wonderful. In reality, as a mum, I think this would be sticky and unhygienic and my walls would be covered in spit!

I love the characters in the film. If I could choose a part to play, I would go for Veruca Salt. She is immense! She is spoilt, demanding, selfish, precocious, arrogant and she has her daddy wrapped around her little finger. She wants an Oompa Loompa, she wants a golden goose, she wants pink macaroons and a million balloons and performing baboons, (who wouldn't?) And she wants it now!

And thus Veruca, what a teaching point you are....


As my boys watched her, I told them that they would be just like her if I never disciplined them, if I never told them off, if I never said no to them. If I said yes to all their demands and gave them all they wanted, they would be just like Veruca Salt. The four year old didn't necessarily see what was wrong with this wonderful spirited girl, she looked like a lot of fun! But my older two really saw what I was saying and didn't like her ugly characteristics. I explained to them that Veruca was the one in charge in their family. She got whatever she wanted and her daddy hadn't done her any favours by giving into her. I explained that actually Veruca was not to blame. Her daddy should have disciplined her.


As the Oompa Loompas sing their song, and you will be tempted to as you read; "Who do you blame when your kid is a brat, Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat? Blaming the kids is a lie and a shame, You know exactly who to blame: The mother and the father!". They were obviously paraphrasing Proverbs 13v24; "Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them."

Even though the Oompa Loompa's version comes with an upbeat song, dungarees and a dance routine, the proverbs verse seems to come with more of a punch. It suggests that Veruca's dad, through his lack of discipline, was actually hating his daughter. If he had said 'no' to her and disciplined her in the right way, he would have shown his love to her! It was a helpful moment for the boys to grasp. And as usual, it's a helpful moment for me to grasp too.Thankfully God knows that if he gave me everything I wanted, whenever I wanted it, I would end up going down the 'Bad Egg' shoot, like Veruca did. Instead in His love, He sometimes has to discipline me and say 'no' to me, no matter how much I make a song and dance of it!

This One's For You

So my New Year's resolution last year was to write a blog about every day life as a mum and a wife, honing in on the moments where God reveals Himself more to me. I think it's the only resolution I've ever kept. And it's been much more enjoyable than giving up chocolate! I have a couple of personal favourites; What's On Your Finger and When The Fog Clears. They are quite different from each other; one made me laugh and one made me cry. But that seems to be how it is as a mum. The husband's most memorable post is Come On Lad. And I like that one is simply called Knickers!


For the stat lovers out there, or just for the husband, I wrote 75 posts in 2011, and had 20,300 views. One Pink Toothbrush has been viewed in several countries; India, Ireland, Germany, South Africa, Pakistan, Canada, Qatar, Ukraine, Australia, Russia, Venezuela, Lebanon, America, United Arab Emirates, Poland, and New Zealand to name but a few. Oh and a few from Brighton! I have read many encouraging comments and messages about the blog, and not just from my mum, (although she is my biggest fan).


So, in true Oscar style, this one's for you! I would like to thank everyone who has read a post, shared a post, stumbled across a post by accident on Facebook, been interviewed for a post, written a post or just said something which has ended up in a post! I'd like to thank the husband for his role as 'the husband', and my four little boys who keep me and others entertained. And of course, I want to thank God for using my crazy moments to draw me closer to Him and to somehow bless and encourage others, especially other mums. The wonderful fact that God chooses to use the weak so that He may show His strength will always astound me. He could've chosen to use a perfect mum to write a blog about her perfect children, but she and they just don't exist, so you've got me instead! With gratitude in my heart, thank you for reading.

 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly

as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom,

 and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs

with gratitude in your hearts to God." Colossians 3v16

You're Not Invited

I asked my eldest to imagine it was his birthday already, rather than wait the six weeks he has to. I told him to imagine coming downstairs, to all the family having a party and giving each other presents and eating all the party food. I told him to imagine that we hadn't bothered inviting him to his birthday party because we wanted to celebrate it without him, and we didn't really think he was important enough to be invited. He said it was quite a sad thing to imagine. 
(I had to remind him that we were just imagining this scene, and that we wouldn't do this to him in six weeks time!)

I explained to him that this was how Christmas had been for lots of people. They will have eaten their Christmas dinner, and opened presents from each other. They may have even played a game of Charades too, but they won't have invited Jesus to the party. They will have celebrated His birthday, without Him. My son understood my point as we drove to Asda on Christmas Eve. And as I started to pray in the car, I think my son understood my tears too. He knew I was grateful that actually Jesus has invited us all to His birthday party. He has invited all to come and share with Him. And he has such fantastic gifts for us; gifts of salvation, forgiveness, and eternity in Heaven with Him, to name just a few.


Not everything related specifically to Jesus yesterday. The yellow and blue baby aliens that were thrown at my ceiling, didn't really point me to Jesus. Neither did the pigs in blankets, or Kung Fu Panda 2, and I'm not convinced that the Baileys or Pepsi made me think of Jesus either. But the giving of gifts and as Her Majesty put it, the essence of family and community, did point to Jesus. He gave the best present, Himself. And He did so to save us and bring us into God's family, adopted as His children.

"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son,

so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."

                                                                                                       John 3v16

Lost It

I seem to have misplaced my patience this week. Can't find it anywhere. A combination of 'end of term-itis'; everyone in the house is worn out and tired. Mix this with four boys at home for the Christmas holidays and lots of last minute things to do. Mix this with the 'too busy to pray' syndrome, and the husband busy at work. And finally throw in a carol service and preparation for family arriving, and it's the perfect recipe to test my patience. In all honesty, if it were a test, I would have failed! I have lost my patience. I have been snappy at the four little people in my life. I have used the 'you are putting me out, I've got stuff to do' tone with them. I have raised my voice, which is the nicer version of saying I have shouted. I have phoned the husband in one of those 'moments' to plead for help. I have not had a lot of fun with the boys. I have done things they've asked with a huff, some actual out loud huffs, like I did in my teenage years, and quite a few huffs inside my heart.

In short, I have sinned. I have sinned against my boys and against God, by this distinct lack of patience. I know it's not down to circumstances, although circumstances can alter the pressure gauge. It's not down to tiredness either, although this can cause the pressure gauge to tip slightly into the danger zone. But it's how I've dealt with the pressure, not the pressure itself which has shown my heart in it's honest state. It's all about my heart, my selfishness, my sin. The classic error, was of course allowing busyness and tiredness to tip the scales, rather than prayer and praise. I have not been walking in the good of the Holy Spirit's strength and help, and therefore I have not known the joy or the fruit of living in Him. I have not learned to be content in this situation. I have not cast my burden onto the Lord and I have not sung a new song unto the Lord. So seeing as I haven't been living in the truth of God's word, I decided to open the bible and look at 'patience'.

And straight away, what am I faced with? What is it that softens my heart and brings it back to a place of worship?

"but God was merciful to me in order that Christ Jesus might show his full patience in dealing with me, the worst of sinners, as an example for all those who would later believe in him and receive eternal life." 1 Timothy 1v16

God, my Heavenly Father shows me mercy through Jesus. Jesus shows His full patience in dealing with me. As a sinner, God's wrath was heading straight for me. But because of what Jesus did on the cross; because He stepped in and took that wrath instead of me, I now live in God's glorious mercy. If Jesus showed His full patience in dealing with me, enough to bring me salvation instead of wrath, then it is the same full patience He shows me today. It is the same full patience He shows me when I am impatient, when I am angry, when I am selfish, when I am sinful.

Oh what wonderful truth to dwell on. What a joyous revelation again of my Heavenly Father's long suffering with me. The Lord is compassionate and merciful, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. How this causes me to say sorry to the boys and ask for God's help today as I remember He doesn't lose it with me. How this causes me to sing a new song, to worship and thank Him; to repent and receive His beautiful mercy.

Mary, Joseph and the Fire Breathing Dragon

So Christmas is nearly here. The Advent calendar is nearly empty and the freezer is nearly full. I've been to a couple of nativity performances to watch a shepherd, a king and a dancing Roman at war! But last night I watched the best nativity performance I have seen this year.


The setting was a castle in my four year old's bedroom. The cast was wonderfully inventive; Mary was played by a king. Joseph was played by a wizard. The shepherd was played by a knight on horseback, and like all good shepherds, he had a pet dragon. Baby Jesus was inside a Treasure Chest. Sully from Monsters Inc, was trying to get the baby Jesus. Mary, the king was worried about her baby. But Joseph, (or Jophes as referred to by my son) reassured her that the shepherd would protect the baby, and sure enough the shepherd's dragon breathed fire at Sully and the baby Jesus was safe! Sully unfortunately didn't make it to the end of the nativity story.


So it wasn't quite how Luke or Matthew had recorded it, but it was quite a passionate adaption. I asked my son why Jesus was in the Treasure Chest, hoping for something profound to come from his mouth. I wanted him to say that it's because Jesus is a wonderful treasure to be searched for and found: a treasure so valuable that you would give everything else up for it. A treasure which shouldn't be hidden: a treasure which is rich and glorious and generous, a treasure which can only be found by searching for a cross. But he's a four year old boy who hasn't yet got to grips with his theology. His response was that Jesus was in the treasure box because that's where his baby toys were, of course! I did try to tell him the above; about Jesus being a treasure for us to find, but he was back to rescuing Baby Jesus from the blue monster.

"The Kingdom of heaven is like this.
A man happens to find a treasure hidden in a field.
He covers it up again, and is so happy that he goes and sells everything he has,
 and then goes back and buys that field." Matthew 13v44-46

And Behind Door Number One......

The wait is over!! A tiny little cardboard door will be opened, to reveal a tiny piece of cheap chocolate, in the tiny shape of something Christmassy! Yippee. Hurrah! And this will continue for the next 23 days. It may well be used as a bribe. It may well be used as a threat.

It may well be gobbled up by a naughty mummy in search of chocolate and replaced the next morning. But the countdown to Christmas is here. Good Morning to the First Day of Advent!!


I remember the day when you used to open a tiny door and it just revealed a tiny picture, and you were content with that  because you didn't realise other Advent calendars had chocolate inside. And I remember when our calendar at home progressed to 24 pockets...filled with bubble gums and chocolates and new rubbers and 20p pieces and Treasure Hunts. Mother dearest, I salute you!

Advent comes from the Latin word 'Adventus' meaning "coming". We celebrate the coming of the Messiah, as Baby Jesus. And we look forward to the second-coming of Jesus, when He will return to this Earth and judge every one of us, and those who have trusted in His name will go to be in Glory with Him. 

And to represent all of this,  we open tiny little doors and eat tiny chocolate reindeers and tiny chocolate holly. Well, actually the two don't quite add up do they? But a wise friend of mine has put together 24 verses which take us through the whole story, so we can share it with our children each day as they open their doors. We obviously want to open the doors of their hearts and their understanding, to give them knowledge, and the truth so they know what it is we celebrate and why. The verses start with some old testament prophecies, move through the christmas story, explain why Jesus came, and finish with His promised return. I asked her if she wanted me to credit her with it, but she pointed out that, "All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching the truth, rebuking error, correcting faults, and giving instruction for right living" (2Timothy3v16) so she didn't think she could take the credit!!


1. John1 v 1-13
2. John 1 v14-17
3. Isaiah 7:14
4. Isaiah 40
5. Isiah 9 v 6-7
6. Micha 5v2
7. Luke 1v5-25
8. Luke 1:26-38
9. Luke 1:39-45
10. Luke 1:46-55
11. Luke 1 v57-66
12. Luke 1:67-79 
13. Matthew 1:18-25
14. Luke 2:1-7
15. Luke 2:15-20
16. Luke 2v25-40
17. Matthew 2:1-12
18. Matthew 2v13-23
19. John 3:16 -21
20.  1 Timothy 1:14-16 
21. 1 John 5v11-14
22.  Romans 8v28-39
23.  Romans 5v1-11
24.  Revelation 21v1-7

Adaption of a Classic

A wife of noble character who can find? 
She is worth far more than Tiffany & Co.
Her husband has full confidence in her, 
He prizes her higher than the 'Extra Special' range.
She brings him food, and warmth, 
All the days of her life. 
She selects cereals from ASDA,
And works with Fairy soft hands.
She is like a working horse,
Bringing her trolley from afar.
She gets up while it is still night, 
To change a bed and dish out Calpol
She stocks the fridge with cheese strings,
And wishes she had female servants. 
She searches for reduced sticker items,
And sells old toys on EBay.
She sprays the Flash vigorously; 
Her arms are strong for her tasks. 
She tidies, she cleans, she texts a friend, 
She does another school run.
In her hand, she holds one smaller,
Whilst pushing the buggy along.
Her arms are full of carrier bags.
She opens her arms to the poor,
and extends her hands to the needy. 
When it's a snow day, she has no fear for her household; 
For all of them are clothed in Primark.
She makes her own and six other beds, 
She is clothed in creased garments, 
with unknown stains across her top.
Her husband is respected in his office,
Where he takes his seat outside the house.
She makes food for small group,
and supplies the new mum with a meal.
She is clothed with strength and dignity, 
She can laugh at the days to come. 
But not in a manic way.
She speaks with different tones,
And ignored advice is on her tongue. 
She watches over the affairs of her household 
And cuts the crust off the mouldy bread.
Her children arise and call her 'mummy, mummy, mummy, mummy'.
Her husband, he praises her;
There is meat on his plate.
Even with Dove care, beauty is fleeting, 
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. 
Thank her for all her hands have done, 
and let her works bring praise to the Lord.

Or read the classic; The Wife of Noble Character

A Pig And A Frog

'Opposites attract' is how the saying goes, and there are plenty of couples which support this theory; Kermit and Miss Piggy, Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam, Homer and Marge, Toula and Ian, Han Solo and Princess Leya, Jack and Rose, Madge and Harold, Belle and the Beast, Chandler and Monica, Gloria and Melman, the list goes on...

Maybe it's their looks which make them different, or their culture,  or their morals even. Maybe its their wealth which causes differences, or quite simply because one is a frog in love with a pig! I'm not sure which couple I'd like to compare myself and the husband with, but there are definite differences we have from one another. The biggest one is probably that God made the husband to be quite a tidy, ordered kind of a man, who likes to arrive places on time and likes everything to have a place. And God blessed that man with me. I'm probably more of the 'not so tidy, slightly late, can't find anything' type, which is why we go together so well.

One of the husband's ways of showing me continual grace, is by not mentioning the kitchen side to me, and by just tidying it himself.  Like I said, he likes there to be a place for everything, and everything to have a place. For me, the kitchen side is that place where I like to keep everything, which isn't quite what he means. So I looked at it this morning, and thought about just making it into one neat-ish pile (which apparently isn't tidying at all). But I knew that that wouldn't actually be me having the right heart to bless the husband, and I could tell that Peppa Pig's rocket wouldn't stack well. I know that it's an act of love to blitz the kitchen side. So I text a picture of it to a friend, who knows about the 'kitchen side' deal in our house, and she replied,

"Oh mate!!! I'd put some praise music on if I were you!!!"

I thought that was a great response. She could have told me to give up before I had even started or she could have empathised! But instead she encouraged me to praise God in the task ahead. I could serve and love the husband, by cleaning and tidying the kitchen side, and do it all for the glory of God. I could worship Him in the midst of such a mundane task. So the praise music went on, the side was cleared in my own non systematic way, Peppa's rocket took off to its rightful place, the bin was filled and the cleaning spray came out. (Now to keep it that way until the husband has returned home from work!)


"So, whether you eat or drink, (or tidy the kitchen side, or change a nappy, or drive the car, or make their lunch or serve the church, or do another load of washing, or clean the loo)
  or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
                                               1 Corinthians 10v31l

Actions > Words

We have attempted to sign with the boys when they've been little, in order to help them with early language frustration. Our second son only learnt the signs he felt he needed in life; 'biscuit', 'milk' and 'please'.  And our littlest one pretty much just found signing and snorting 'pig' hilarious!


With all of them however, we did find it really helpful to teach them to sign 'sorry' from an early age. The sign for 'sorry' is a circular motion with their hand on their chest. Now instead of signing it on their own chest, my boys have tended to sign it on their brother's chest; that is the chest of the brother who is already annoyed by them, which has sometimes added to the annoyance as they are now getting pushed in a circular motion. But we still do it. We encourage the boys to say sorry quickly and to forgive quickly, with the action of a hug which can turn into a bundle, which makes us all laugh. So it's all done and dealt with!


I had to say sorry to someone this week, because I had brought something to them in a rude and blunt way. I apologised to them at church. I didn't sign it on mine or his chest, as I don't think that would have been altogether appropriate! I said sorry to the man and was quite taken back by his response. He forgave me quickly, which I did expect. After all, he is a wise, mature man of God. We did hug but he didn't bundle me, which I was grateful for. But what I didn't expect, was for him to quote the following scripture to me.

        "Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
                reprove a wise man, and he will love you."
                                                             Proverbs 9:8

He said that according to the bible if you bring something to a wise man, like I had done, he will love you. So he said he had gained a friend in what I had done. He didn't focus on the rude and blunt way I had brought something to him, instead he focused on his part in accepting it. He was humble, forgiving and knew what the bible said about such things. It was a blessing for me to say sorry to this man, and be forgiven by him.

We teach our boys to forgive quickly, to hug it out, simply because Jesus has forgiven us for so much. If we have repented, He has forgiven every single sin, wiped clean, start again, fresh mercy every morning. Yet sometimes I feel justified to hold on to some hurt, or I may say "I forgive you" with my words but not show it with my actions. And when people bring correction to me, or point things out to me, am I as humble as my dear friend to receive it like he did, and love them for doing so? Jesus never had to say sorry, He was completely innocent. He could have held onto hurt as He was unjustly punished for the world's sin, for my sin. Jesus didn't just forgive with His words, He died on the cross and rose again! His actions speak very loudly indeed.

"Barcelona"

I went to Barcelona.
I went to Barcelona with the husband.
I went to Barcelona with the husband and with no children.

That in itself is a blog post!!

So I went to Barcelona for four days. How did I end up there? The husband took me out for dinner due to a deal on at Pizza Express and he asked me what I would like from our marriage. Thinking I would maybe say that I wanted him to reply to my texts in the middle of the day or to get home earlier, I actually said that I would like to go to European cities without the boys, just for a couple of days, until were old! So he took me to a church planting conference in Belfast last year (not sure that counts but it was with a wonderfully fun couple, and I did get new boots). And then he took me to Barcelona a few weeks ago. Brownie points for the husband.


It was of course amazing. No nappies or night time wees. No Cbeebies or Disney DVDs. No school runs or homework. No Cheddars or Fruit Shoots. No 7am breakfast of Cheerios, but instead an 11am breakfast of croissants, cake and omlette! Just four days in the sun, by the sea, with a Mojito or two and fried Calamari, with only the husband to share it with. Bliss. I think I lost a friend or two with every relaxed, fun photo I uploaded to Facebook, but it was worth it.

When we went to Belfast, the boys found presents under our bed for them. So when we told them we were going to Barcelona, they were already expecting to find presents again. My boys, just like me, love getting gifts. Whether it's the 'thing' itself, or the fun it brings, whether it means we've thought about them, or it's the anticipation, they do love presents. They weren't thinking about missing us because they were far too excited about the gifts. And I was excited about giving them. I had found cheap little things which individually I knew they would love.... play dough, a warrior polar bear, a compass set and a talking Mr Incredible! What's not to love in that list?

As much as I love giving my children gifts, my Heavenly Father loves to give gifts to His children so much more. He picks them out individually. He knows what we love and what we need. He is far more generous than me. And He loves it when we, His children, are expectant to get something from Him. He loves when we're excited to receive what He has for us. He has gifted me with so much; salvation and an eternal destiny for a start! He has also given me the husband and the boys. He has given me endless mercy and forgiveness. He also gave me the trip to Barcelona. He gave me the Sangria and sunshine. The list is endless, and the great thing is that He even encourages us to ask for gifts from Him. I have never asked Him for a warrior polar bear but I do appreciate all the gifts that He has given me, and I'm glad I don't need to look under the bed for them.

"...which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?

Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?

 If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children,

how much more will your Father who is in heaven

 give good things to those who ask him!"

                                                                                     Matthew 7v9-11

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above..."

                                                                       James 1v17

Mother Knows Best

My littlest boy is going through that wonderful phase of being two. He is trying to see if he knows best or if mother knows best. He is working out if he is in control of his life or if indeed  I am. He is trying to establish whether he is the authority in his life or if I am.


I don't think he has made his final decisions yet, so he is finding new ways to test his the above. I don't understand why he doesn't just look at his three older brothers, who have tried and tested these same theories before him and learn from their findings. But no, he has decided to find out for himself if he is the boss or if I am. I think he is beginning to understand that my 'No' holds more weight than his 'no', but he's not entirely convinced, so he still says it to see what happens. 

He has a lesser version of 'no' which is 'not yet' which is a softer and cuter way of saying it, but it's still disobedience. He has also started down the age old path of 'laying on the floor' to see if that achieves what he was setting out to do. He is working out whether he really does have to say 'sorry' when he is in the wrong or if he can just try the silent approach with me, and he is using his eyebrows a lot more to convey how he's feeling!

My boy doesn't yet understand that his mum and his dad are the God given authority placed in his life. He doesn't want to be told what to do, what not to do and he thinks that he knows what is best for his life. He doesn't want to obey our decisions, but he would like to see if he's got what it takes to go it alone. He wants to be in control and make his own choices. He doesn't yet realise that it is because of my love for him, that I tell him what to do and what not to do. He hasn't realised that it is out of a heart of love that I know what is actually best for him, and out of love that I protect, train and teach him. He doesn't understand that it is because I love him that I want him to obey me and because I love him that I discipline him. His heart is wrapped up in foolishness as the book of Proverbs points out.

As I thought about my boy wanting to be in charge, I was reminded of two things that Joel Virgo said in a recent preach at our church. He said that a lot of people say they don't believe in God because they need more evidence, but actually it is because they don't want Him to have a claim on their life. People don't want someone or something telling them what is best for their life. They may not be rejecting Jesus from a reasonable argument but from a heart that objects to God's will for them.

It seems similar to my son's lack of urgency to have me speak into his life and know what is best for him. My friends who so far have rejected God don't realise that it is out of a heart of love that He wants to be the authority in their life. It is because of His love that He wants to protect them and why He wants them to follow His perfect ways. My Heavenly Father is a loving tender God who wants the best for me, and wants the best for my friends who have rejected Him. He wants to bless us as we follow Him, because he loves us. He sent His son to die for us because He loves us. It is even out of a heart of love that He gives us free will, so we can choose whether to let Him lead us or not.

At the tender, malleable age of two, my boy needs to do what we determine is best for his life. As he grows older, he will have to acknowledge that we were placed in authority over his life, whilst submitting ourselves to God's best for him and for us. My boy will have to choose to let us continue to speak into his life or not, and he will also have to choose whether to let God be the ultimate authority in his life or whether he indeed knows best.

"Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline drives it far from him."

                                               Proverbs 22v15

"Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool,
but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered."

                                               Proverbs 28v26

Dad Knows Best

We recently visited my brother and sister in law for a couple of days during half term. I was the designated driver, which is usually unheard of for any journey, especially a 3 hour journey. Usually that is the husband's role, because he man, me woman! (One of the changes that just happens after the wedding ring is on) But he had work to do, so he wanted to use the time to do some prep.


I sat in the driver's seat, driving at the speed I wanted to drive at, over-taking safely when I wanted to, and enjoying the time pretty much to myself whilst watching the husband out of the corner of my eye, with the tiniest of smiles on my face. Because the passenger seat isn't the easiest of seats to occupy. It comes with a price. You see, in the back of our car, we carry these four things which can disturb any intentions, let alone the intention to work. They are called children and they have a different take on a three hour journey.


So I watched in amusement, as the husband had to give out Cheddars, juice cartons, dried hoops and biscuits. As he picked up dropped toys and put music on, as he answered questions and looked for Ewoks, as he found a dummy and put blankets on, as he answered their cries of "daddy" when they didn't even want anything, and as he saw to the ultimate "wee on the hard shoulder" event! There were needs that had to be met, and some which the husband said no to. I just sat in the driver's seat, blissfully unable to do anything because I was the designated driver. On the return journey, the two year old stayed awake for the first hundred miles despite his father telling him it was time to sleep.


It made me think of how the Heavenly Father deals with us. Firstly, unlike even the best earthly father, he is NEVER too busy and NEVER feels disturbed by us, but patiently listens and loves us. He is generous and tells us to ask of Him, and He provides and gives abundantly. But sometimes I know I can ask Him for things just thinking about my own immediate needs, rather than realising it's a long journey I'm on with Him. Sometimes I forget that He knows what is best for me. Sometimes I ignore His wisdom of knowing when I need to rest. Sometimes I don't like his answer and I can spit my dummy out, or I may not understand His answer, so I keep asking in a self seeking way. Sometimes I may even come to the conclusion that He has stopped loving me, because He doesn't meet my demands or doesn't answer in the way I want. But I know this is untrue. I know that if the husband gave into every demand placed on him from our children, it would not be beneficial to them, regardless of what they thought about their needs. I know they need to trust that he knows best for them. And I know this is the same for me and my Heavenly Father.

"The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love."

                                                       Psalm 103v8

Swimming With Phatfish

So I thought it would be a good idea to have a sneaky 'behind the scenes' peak at life in the world of Phatfish. And the best way to do that is to join the band! But I can't really see that happening, so maybe an interview with a couple of the wives will be a good route in. Rachel is married to Luke, the non-long-haired bass player, and Jenni is married to Jos, the really hot guitarist (his wife's words!) and she's the little sister of Lou who is married to Nathan, who is Luke's younger brother. Clear? Then let's begin.


What is the vision behind Phatfish?
Rachel;  to use music to bring revelation of God to people and to see Jesus made famous.
Jenni; to write theologically correct songs which equip, encourage and inspire worship in church, and to write songs aimed at the non believer.

And do you have a role to play?
Rachel; to support my husband, provide childcare, occasional backing vocals, and I make the bacon butties. 
Jenni; to support my husband, provide childcare for Lou and Nathan and to pray.


What is your favourite Phatfish song/album?
Jenni; "Higher" is definitely my favourite album, and all the songs my husband has written.
Rachel;  I love "Heavenbound" and "Nothing but the truth". But the new album "Higher" is my favourite.

What do your kids think about Phatfish?
Rachel; they are huge fans.  Lucy made her own t-shirt recently with Phatfish written on the front. Poppy has played the CDs at school and turned her class and teacher into fans. And even Audey who is 18 months is already singing along in the car. They do miss Daddy when he's away though.
Jenni; Caleb absolutely loves them. He dances and sings and plays on his guitar when he hears them.

If your hubby could perform anywhere with anyone...?
Jenni; Glastonbury with Coldplay.
Rachel; maybe Muse at Wembley.

What do we not know about Phatfish?
Rachel; Bertie (aka Mike) really doesn't like orange peel. Lou once posted a whole envelop full of it to him. Ben thinks he's Australian, whereas Lou actually is.
Jenni; Lou's new hair is actually Luke's old hair. Being Lou's youngest sister, all I will say is a perm plus hot red lipstick and NHS glasses was not a good look!


Is it Lou's hair, her shoes or her voice which carries most influence?
Jenni; you can't have one without the other.
Rachel; obviously her hair and shoes are striking and her style is unique but her singing is her true gift - and her passion for people and her generosity with all she has is very challenging.

Did the music change when Luke cut his hair?
Jenny; it got better.
Rachel;  yes - he's rubbish now. Can't play a note. He just mimes.

What do Phatfish eat?
Rachel; anything except fish..... that would just be wrong. They like bacon butties. And curry. They get a lot of lasagne when they gig. Ben doesn't like anything spicy!
Jenni; depends on how well the album sells.

What do Phatfish do to relax?
Jenni; boxsets. We do like a good series, the current one is aptly 'The Good Wife'.
Rachel;  fishes and wags like to eat food and listen to music and watch DVDs and go for walks and some play sports and ski and drink wine and most do kid related activities like the park and several wash and  a couple even belong to the national trust!!!

What would you like to plug?
Rachel; new album out - "Higher" honestly I'm so excited about it. The song writing is mature and the songs are so powerful. I'm so excited about what God is going to do with these songs. I am praying that as people listen they will meet God and have their lives changed.  Listen while you jog, wash up, drive, whatever - it will do you good I promise. It's got Pop moments and some weighty issues tackled and will have you moving and singing and worshiping. Seriously it's brilliant and I'm not just saying so b'cos I have to. And if you can then come along to the tour. Dates on the website. It's going to be powerful. And your attendance will stop our children from being homeless!

Jenni; Phatfish are currently touring. Come to The Komedia, Brighton on October 20th and buy their latest album "Higher".


For tour dates, album news and to purchase tickets visit www.phatfish.net