Turn to The Dark Side

There are brief moments in our household when peace and tranquility actually reign. But these are never found during the five minutes just before we do the school run. Organisation isn't one of my strong points, so the stress of searching for my own two matching shoes as well as eight little shoes of varying sizes, can be a little hectic. Mixed with grabbing two lunch bags, finding four coats, locating one baby, looking for two books in the right book bags, and the right amount of children can be a little on the stressful side for me. This is usually accompanied by a little brotherly shoving and joking, a timely dirty nappy and some high energy boys.


Such a morning was had in our house last week and the stress was added to by one of my boys making a few bad choices and not behaving well. I started to talk to him about how unhelpful he had been. But rather than calmly talking to him, explaining his mistakes and showing him his heart, I instead had a bit of an unnecessary rant at him. The kind of rant that is over the top, and not wise, not controlled, not godly, not gentle. I walked into the kitchen still moaning at him and as I turned towards him to carry on my rant, the song coming out of the kitchen speakers changed to the dark and gloomy  "Imperial March" from Star Wars, as if it it were my very own sound track.

Because of the dramatic song change and because of God's grace, we both burst out laughing! We talked about how it was the part in the film when The Emperor is telling Luke Skywalker to be consumed by anger, and that is exactly what I had allowed to happen. I had got angry rather than love my son. I had been consumed by my emotions rather than patiently taking time to explain. I had got stressed rather than have godly self control. I had tried to do the morning in my own strength rather than rely on God's. It was an amusing and humbling moment as I once again had to apologise to and be forgiven by my son and thank God for His faithful grace towards me. I'm so grateful that God never deals with me in anger, but is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

We decided it would be a great idea, if every time I got a bit cross "The Imperial March" started in the background, because then I would be aware of my emotions and would be reminded to change my behaviour. Thankfully, I know I have the Holy Spirit, speaking to me and prompting  me in these moments to go to God and giving me the power to change my behaviour and my attitude. Now I just need to convince the boys that The Holy Spirit's power and the Jedi Force are very different.

"And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming;

 “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.."

                                                                 Exodus 34v6