Wandering in the Wilderness

Sometimes being a mum feels like you're wandering around in the desert or the wilderness. It can be so monotonous; day in, day out, you can feel like you're still not sure what you're doing or where you're going! And it's not like your little charges regularly stop what they're doing and say, "Mum, I just want to thank you for all the hard work you put into parenting me." There is the temptation to feel like you want to give up. On Sunday, just before church, this wandering mother snapped and gave up. She shouted at one of her sons and felt pretty justified about the shout. She'd had enough of the attitude, the answering back, the disobedience, and the winding up. She even threw in a slammed door.

Then she went to church! And there she felt quite annoyed by the preach! Joel Virgo was continuing his series in 1 Samuel. It's been one of those series that have felt wonderfully encouraging, but with a challenging kick to it. And this week he was going on about us being in the wilderness, and the wilderness being a place of training.
He explained how many great characters in the bible spent a season, a decade, or forty years even, in the wilderness and it was in order to train them. Even Jesus Himself spent 40 days in the wilderness. Joel explained that it's how we respond in the wilderness which is so vitally important. Do we continue to trust God or do we decide to bury our heads and give up? Joel went on to say that being meek is trusting God, humbling ourselves to let Him be in control. He also said that we're not meant to stay in the wilderness but that we're to walk through it. If we give up, we stay there and die in the wilderness. Whereas if we grow and learn through the training, trusting God completely, we come out the other side a little more like Jesus and a little more ready to take on what God has called us to do! 

But God has called me to be a mother! And that's tough at times... Ah I started to see what God was saying to me through Joel's word. God is training me, as I train my little ones. And as I get it wrong with my little ones. Joel ended of course, with Jesus; saying that we needed to hold onto who Jesus was. Hold onto His past faithfulness, and hold onto His steadfastness.  Hold onto the fact that He showed mercy to the me, an ungrateful child. Hold onto the fact that He blesses and provides security and love to me, regardless of how I respond. Hold on to the fact that He continually serves me, regardless of how undeserving I am.

I apologised to my son and sought his forgiveness for shouting at him and we prayed together. I thanked God that we we are both sinners saved by grace. I thanked God that He shows both of us undeserved grace and forgiveness. I thanked God that He never shouts at us or slams a door. I thanked God for the wilderness training. I thanked Him again for loving us, His children so perfectly.

"Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.  
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled. 
Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.  
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.  
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God."

Matthew 5v5-9