Have You Any Wool?

Due to the two year old's new love for all things Baa, I am aware of sheep again and again. I recently read John 10, and thought about Jesus' description of us as his sheep. (As I mentioned in my last post). He talks about thieves who come to steal the sheep, and why He cares for the sheep, and the fact that there are some sheep still to be found. It's hard to remember that he is talking about us as he refers to sheep, but He is. He talks about the sheep having eternal life and never being snatched from Him. He talks about Himself as the shepherd, the good shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep. But He also talks about Himself as the gate, which to be honest I haven't always understood.

I read something recently, which helped me understand it better. I read A Slice of Infinity, which is a daily reading from the Ravi Zacharias International Ministries (RZIM). It is written by a lady called Jill Carattini. She explained parts of John 10 in her daily reading, which was new to me, so I thought I would share her thoughts here;

As Jesus was standing in the temple preaching, He would have been surrounded by real "baaing" sheep. Sheep which were being bought and sold,  and then led through a door into the temple, in order to be used as a sacrifice. There was a gate on the north of the city of Jerusalem which the sheep were led through. It was fittingly called the Sheep Gate. When the sheep were inside the city, inside the temple, there was no way out. An entrance for the sheep, but no exit. They were then sacrificed for the sins of men and women. Jill Carattini writes "For first-century hearers of Jesus' words about sheep, such knowledge added to the shock of Christ's words: "I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep.... I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture.""

The hearers of Jesus' words would have known that the sheep had no way out, that they were heading for death. For Jesus to say that He was the gate for the sheep, He was declaring that there was a way out for the sheep. And we remember that Jesus refers to us when He talks about sheep. So He was saying He was and is the way out from death for us. If we come to God through Jesus, we are rescued from death and given life. This is wonderful news for us, and a reminder that those who don't yet know Jesus as their rescuer and saviour are still heading for death, and we need to point them in the right direction, towards the gate, towards Jesus.

"I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

 I am the Good Shepherd" John 10v11

Baa Baa Black Sheep

My two year old has started to appreciate all things Baa, (as in the animal). So every time we see a sheep or a cow, or a haystack for that matter, he shouts "Baa". Even as I write this, there is a Baa on Bob the Builder this morning. So he is making his point loud and clear with full animal noise and facial expression.

There are some fields we pass on our way home. One field is home to sheep, one to cows and one to haystacks, so for quite a long stretch of road he says Baa, and I have to say it back to him in acknowledgement of the Baas!

It has got me thinking recently about one of my favourite verses;

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." Isaiah 40v11

'Tends his flock' is not a phrase that we use a lot, mainly because we are not shepherds. But to a shepherd, it would mean that he protects his flock from wolves and predators. He looks after his flock, caring for them, feeding them, guiding them, watching over them, leading them to fresh water, and searching for the lost ones. 'Tends to' can also be described as cherish, serves and cares for.  

I love this verse and take it personally. Jesus is my shepherd and I am part of His flock, one of His sheep. I am happy to be a Baa, because it means Jesus tends to me, cherishes me, serves me and cares for me. He feeds me, watches over me and guides me. He gathers me in His arms and carries me close to His heart. What a wonderful place to be. The verse also says that Jesus gently leads those who have young. I have young, four young lambs which I myself tend to. So Jesus is gently leading me as I look after them. Sometimes He leads me through rough terrain, and sometimes through luscious grassy areas. But He is always leading me, while protecting me and tending to me. I am close to the Shepherd's heart, close to Jesus' heart.

 

Keep Smiling!

I have noticed that mums have a look on their face that other mums totally understand. It is a smile of sorts, but not a natural smile. It's more of a strained smile; a tight, closed mouth smile which lifts both corners of the mouth up high to uncomfortable levels, and it is usually accompanied with a nod or head tilt or very wide eyes, or all three. Someone may look at that smile and think the lady was bordering on insanity or struggling with constipation, but another mum would look at that smile and she would just know.


She would know that that smile is trying to communicate an intense positive thought process, such as "I am rising above the current stresses", with maybe a touch of "I am carrying on regardless", and a slight hint of "This will not beat me." While inside she is silently screaming, "I'm a mother, get me outta here!!" You notice this look in the supermarket, on the school run, at church, and coming in and out of caravans at Newday.

And as a mum, there is a look that you give back. It is a smaller smile, a more natural one. Not as intense as the manic/constipated look described earlier.  It communicates to that other mum, "I understand" and it lets you know that you are going to be okay and that you will survive! Because in that moment, you want someone else to understand the stress or gritted teeth joy that you are experiencing.


I saw this understanding look as I was in the chemist at 10pm buying worm medicine. What a totally gross and embarrassing medicine to have to stand at a counter and ask for. The reassuring look came from the mum standing to the left of me not quite at this point, but when the pharmacist asked if there was anything else I needed apart from the worm medicine for my kids, and my hushed reply was "a bottle of head lice treatment please"...that's when the smile came. A comforting, "been there, done it" smile. She understood that the last thing I wanted to be doing that evening was buying these particular products, let alone having to admit that I needed them, revealing some of the secret horrors of motherhood. And then having to part with cash for the joy of owning such products. She also knew that that meant my following morning would be one of hair combing and linen washing! But she would also know that that is what you do as a parent, you care for your kids and help them, in all sorts of ways!


I was comforted by that lady's smile. And it caused me to smile too. I realised how I simply needed someone to understand my plight at 10pm that evening. No talk about it needed, just an understanding smile was enough. Its a tedious link, but I know My Heavenly Father understands my plight. He sees all and knows all. He knows what my groans are, the big heavy groans and the lighthearted almost comical ones. And He makes all grace abound to me because I am His daughter, so He knows what it is to love His kids, to love me. He knows I need looking after, and help and care when I get myself into a mess. And I know that the messes I get myself into are far worse than nits and worms!

 "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." 2 Corinthians 9v8

A Helping Hand

At a recent baby shower, we were asked to give the mum-to-be a word of advice. My piece of advice was that she should ask for help, and accept the help offered. Sounds like a simple bit of information to give someone, but it actually proves quite hard to do. That familiar sin called pride stops us from admitting we need help, asking for it and then accepting it.

I'm reminded of a recent Sunday after church. Sundays can be a little on the difficult side at times, as I have to get four boys from their Cogs groups, the husband usually has to talk to someone about something, the boys are tired and hungry and I have to get them to the car to wait for the husband. So on a Sunday like this, I crossed the road with the tribe and walked them towards the hot car. They weren't being altogether helpful. The baby's hunger and tiredness had evolved into relentless screeching and I couldn't find the magical dummy which brings peace to all mankind. There was silliness and hot and bothered, non brotherly love going on. So quite loudly I demanded some quiet and tried to get them all in their seats with their belts on.

Then it happened, I spotted the wife of an elder at our church, coming towards us, a loving caring lady, who would be happy to help me. So did I approach her? No I ducked down and hid behind a green van next to our car! I said "Oh God, please help me". And then I started laughing. How ridiculous! God actually helped me by pointing out my pride; scared of what she might think and not asking for the help she would gladly offer.

We say to our boys that it's good to do things on our own at times, but if were doing it on our own, because we're worried what people think, or because we think we know better or because we don't want to admit that we're weak, or incase we put people out, then that's just pride! But there I was hiding behind a van in case this kind lady thought I was weak and needed help!

The worst kind of pride is when we don't ask God for His help, we don't admit that we are weak or in need and we try to do it all in our own strength. Instead we hide behind a green van, or money, or a relationship, or working harder, or looking better, or  our own self worth. How much better would it have been for me to ask the elder's wife for a helping hand? And how willingly she would have given it to me! How much better is it for me to ask God for His help and how willing is He to give it to me? His words are strong in regards to our pride. He has offered us His help and a relationship with Him through His own son. He knows that I am weak and need His help, His strength, His joy, His peace, His salvation, His forgiveness, His guidance, His care...But it is a choice to seek Him or have no room for Him.

     "In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God." Psalm 10v4

"Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar." Psalm 138v6

The Young People of Today

This week I have been blown away by people's willingness to just help. I am at Newday, a Christian youth event with my boys, occasionally with the husband, some folk from our church and about 6000 young people.
As I sat in a marquee with our church's youth for my breakfast, one of the leaders came in and said he needed five guys to help with the slop buckets. Straight away some lads stood up to volunteer and followed the leader out to do this gross job. 
Later on I approached one of our youth leaders and asked him if he would help me get my coats out of my car. He was completely willing and in the pouring rain, he set out to find my car and get our family's coats for me.
I had help from a lovely teenage girl who went and got two of my boys from the children's work. She didn't even need to think about it. Her heart was just willing to serve me.

And I managed to get to an unexpected seminar because three of our youth offered to watch all four boys, and even treated them out of their own money.
I was encouraged because all of the people who I have observed helping have been under twenty. Why are they so willing? Why would they go out of their way in the rain? Or do the non glorious jobs? Because our young people are following examples. Whether it's the example of their parents, or by men and women in our church, or elders and their wives, or the examples of their youth leaders lives. Or the example of Jesus Himself.
Jesus loved his disciples and showed this by washing their feet. He wanted to make it clear that He had come to serve not to be served. He gave his life in place of our's to pay the price for our sin. The ultimate act of a servant, selfless heart.
We need to continue to be an example to our young people in how we serve. Would I have been willing to do the slop buckets? Or go out in the rain for someone? Or sacrifice a seminar so someone else could go? I hope I would. 
The next generation coming through often carries with it, a bad reputation.  But I wonder if they have had any examples to follow? Who has shown them the right way? Who has taught them to serve and respect? Are we willing to serve this next generation? Are we willing to be an example for them to follow? Especially those young people who have not had any good examples? Or do we expect to see it, without any part in it? 
So today, I'm honouring this next generation, especially the youth I have been served by this week.

Be Our Guest

Recently we told the boys that some very special guests were coming for dinner. We wouldn't tell them who, but laboured the point of how special these guests were by asking them to go and get changed into their best clothes, complete with ties, and be on their best behaviour.

I prepared a wonderful dinner, and the table had a table cloth and napkins. The husband wore a suit and I a pretty skirt and top with a flower in my hair. The boys were asking if it was The Queen. (I wish, I thought!) And started naming important people. We asked them to go outside and look for the guests. So they all skipped off to sit on the front wall, and excitedly wait for them to arrive.

Me and the husband went back in and closed the door. Our eldest came back and rang the doorbell, at which point we enthusiastically welcomed our boys in as our very special guests. We explained that they were the most important people we knew, and that the party was in their honour. With a happy tear in one of their eyes and a beaming smile on the other boys' faces, we sat down to our wonderful dinner party, followed by a dance off. (That's how most events finish in our house.)

We totally stole this idea off of a family we know. (Tony and Jackie, I salute you!) They said they were constantly blessed by their three daughters and their son, and they often had people at their house at dinner time, and their children were great with them. So it was their way of saying 'Thank You' to their kids. We loved the idea, and enjoyed repeating it. This weekend we were going to a BBQ with some old friends and we said there would be some special guests there. One of my boys suggested it was him and his brothers, so I know the point was made.

I am reminded of these verses.

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.

And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.
John 14 v2-3

Because of what Jesus has done for us, in making a way to the Father, we have the privilege of being His special guests where he has prepared a place for us. I wonder if there will be a dance off?

Frazzled

This evening could have gone one of two ways. It had been a bit of a full on afternoon; there had been an energetic wrestling match between the four boys, which had been going fine up until there were too many tears, there was extra washing to do, due to a poorly boy in the night, there was a brief thirty minute 'hello' from the husband between him coming home and heading back out, there was a head injury due to a car ramp being enthusiastically thrown by the baby, there was the dramatic loss of a Lego spaceman, there was an alien story to be written and that was all before dinner.

Putting the boys to bed alone, meant the baby followed me upstairs when I needed the four year old to settle. The older two were finding it hard to 'do something calm' before bedtime and the unsettled four year old got out of bed about six times. The last time he wanted his hideous red teddy bear which we got from the school fete for 20p. I was a bit short with him as I settled him back into bed, without his bear, and said a quick goodnight to them all.

I changed the baby and got him ready for bed, and I saw the hideous red teddy. I felt compelled to take it up to my boy. He gave me such a big smile as he took the bear and cuddled it. It brought him such comfort. And I tenderly kissed him and told him I loved him, because I do. Even when being a mum is hard, even when my boys are demanding, even when it's been a full on afternoon. I still love them. I just need to keep showing it and saying it. With the baby in his cot, I came downstairs and put some washing on, and sat on the lounge floor, frazzled and I wept.

At this point I knew I had a choice; I could put the television on and 'socially network' online, or I could cry to my heavenly father. I found myself doing the latter. I knew I could come into His presence so easily. There was nothing I needed to do or achieve or even say, I could just "be". And I could be comforted. I was reminded of how compelled I felt just to take my boy his hideous, but loved red bear. I remembered how comforted he felt over something so small, and I remembered how much I loved him as I kissed him goodnight. And I knew it was all just a tiny reflection of God's love for me, how compelled He is to love me, how He longs to comfort me, by His holy Spirit and whisper to me of His love and joy in me.

How beautiful it was to sit and weep at my father's feet. I didn't really say much. I just wanted to come into His presence and know of His love and His Holy Spirit's comfort, His refuge and His strength. And that's just what I did.

   "What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a   serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?

    If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!"

                                                                                            Luke 11v11-13

It's a Dog's Life

Watching my smallest boy play with his new birthday 'Woof Woofs', or dogs as they're actually called to people who don't have a toddler in their house, I'm reminded of how similar my boys are to dogs!

They are ever so cuddly, they enjoy a splash in a muddy puddle, occasionally they smell, and they even lick me at times. They have endless energy and love to run. The smallest one especially, bounds up to new arrivals at our house like a puppy would; excited and jumping up at them. They want my attention, a pat on the head, a treat. They love to play with a ball, and they've been known to dribble.

I have found my boys throwing things and making their younger brothers crawl on their hands and knees to go "fetch" the item in their mouth. I have found them with my bag handle or their grandparents dog lead attached to their trousers, while again the older ones walk them around the house and garden. And I know they are highly amused when they are caught short and get the chance to see how high they can wee up a tree!

My boys, like dogs need training in obedience, so I had a look on a dog training website to look for similarities (I obviously have far too much time on my hands) and the correlation between dogs and my boys continued. According to the website, dogs need to be trained consistently.They need to know who is in charge and which behaviours are acceptable and not acceptable. They need to know clear boundaries in order to have a trustworthy and cooperative relationship with you. And when all this is done, you have a happy, healthy, well adjusted, outgoing, well respected canine citizen!!!

Maybe I won't read any more parenting books, I will just follow the above advice from a dog website and buy a bag of doggie treats?! No, my boys need consistent heart training not behaviour modification. Don't we all?!

"As a dog returns to its vomit, so fools repeat their folly."

Proverbs 26v11

"Train up a child in the way he should go;
even when he is old he will not depart from it."

Proverb 22v6

John

In order to have the husband home for dinner in between the Brighton conference sessions, we went and picked him up. As we were waiting outside the conference centre for him, my eldest noticed a homeless man asking for money. His response was a wonderful challenge and encouragement to me.

  "Mum, we should do something." He said to me.

I loved that that was how he was thinking, but I explained to my son that I didn't have any money on me, and I didn't have any food on me. Again, another challenging response;
  
"Well, maybe just go and talk with him, because that might be nice for him."

I explained that my son was right, but that actually I could not leave all the boys in the car on a busy road and go to help the man. My son sat and watched him, and said how sad he looked. So we said that there is always something you can do, and we sat in the car and prayed for him.
As the husband came to the car, I explained my son's heart for this man. Wonderfully, the husband said that he had been taken out for lunch, so he still had his lunch that I had made him that morning. The husband and my eldest jumped out of the car and headed off to meet the man. The husband introduced my boy to this man and his dog, and told him that our son had spotted him and wanted to give him some food. My son shook hands with John and left him eating his food.

My other son's response was that I should always have something, like money ready to give to people. I tried to explain that his heart was right but sometimes its hard to give money. But as a result, I made two extra lunches the next morning, just in case. After the school run, I wanted to honour my son's request and cultivate his heart, so I explained that I still had the two extra lunches and off we went for a drive into Brighton, looking for a homeless person to feed.

I had to stop myself from laughing as the two oldest sat in the back, looking out the windows, pointing and saying; "He looks homeless, give it to him." So, rather than play 'Spot the homeless man' and offend all the alternative looking Brightonians, I just kept a look out. But after driving for an hour, we remarkably couldn't find anyone. I explained to my son that his heart had been right and that God had seen his heart, even if we didn't get to give anyone any food. The two lunches went in the fridge and I was blessed not to have to make any for school the next day. I was also blessed to have a fridge, a kitchen, a home...

“Then the righteous will answer him,

‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?

When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you?

When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

“The King will reply,
‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers, and sisters of mine, (John) you did for me.’ Matthew 25v37-40

To Do List

Yesterday, I attended the evening meeting at the 'Together On A Mission' conference in Brighton. What a privilege. I had had quite a busy day with school runs, nursery runs, sport's day, sweeping, washing, dinner making, picking the husband up from the conference etc... the usual things that make a mum's day feel a bit busy. So I was especially looking forward to some worship time.

As Phatfish and Kate Simmonds started to lead thousands of people in worship, I closed my eyes and started talking to God. The first thing I said was "Father, I am sorry that I haven't done my bit today."  I knew I hadn't managed a bible time today, and my prayers had been sporadic and mainly 'Help me' ones. I hadn't fulfilled my checklist of things that I probably should do if I'm going to come the presence of God. As soon as I had said it I laughed. I laughed because I heard how ridiculous it sounded, and I laughed because I know God is speaking to me about Grace at the moment! I laughed because I knew, and God knew that I was saying sorry for not having anything to bring to the table. When do I have anything to bring to the table with God? At what point can I suitably pray "Father, you know I've done so well today, so here I am for you." Ha! How ridiculous. I felt that gentle reminder again, that I don't actually have anything to bring to the table, ever. It's all about Him. His love for me. It's all about what He has done for me through His son.

 There is nothing I add to the deal. And even on my most super spiritual, bible reading, calm and gentle days, where I have trained the boys perfectly and led people to know Jesus, and served the husband, and spoken to him with the right tone and when I've prayed for hours about real issues not my own little needs....(I'm sure I must have had one of these days?!) Even when I have done all of this, what is it that I then think I bring to the table with God? 

Have I earned more of His love? Am I more accepted by Him? Is His death on the cross somehow more because I've ticked some spiritual boxes? I know it is right to obey God's word and live my life in a God glorifying way, but I also need to make sure I've got it the right way round. I need to ask myself, "Am I more righteous because of me, and what I have achieved, all the ticks I've done today or because of Jesus, and what He accomplished at the cross?" Thank God, it's because of Jesus every time! And that righteousness is then my foundation for obeying and doing. Thank you God for worship times where I am able to move quickly past self reliance and into your presence.

   "But when the kindness and love of God our Saviour appeared,  he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.

    He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 

whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Saviour,  

   so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life." Titus 3v4-7

Turn to The Dark Side

There are brief moments in our household when peace and tranquility actually reign. But these are never found during the five minutes just before we do the school run. Organisation isn't one of my strong points, so the stress of searching for my own two matching shoes as well as eight little shoes of varying sizes, can be a little hectic. Mixed with grabbing two lunch bags, finding four coats, locating one baby, looking for two books in the right book bags, and the right amount of children can be a little on the stressful side for me. This is usually accompanied by a little brotherly shoving and joking, a timely dirty nappy and some high energy boys.


Such a morning was had in our house last week and the stress was added to by one of my boys making a few bad choices and not behaving well. I started to talk to him about how unhelpful he had been. But rather than calmly talking to him, explaining his mistakes and showing him his heart, I instead had a bit of an unnecessary rant at him. The kind of rant that is over the top, and not wise, not controlled, not godly, not gentle. I walked into the kitchen still moaning at him and as I turned towards him to carry on my rant, the song coming out of the kitchen speakers changed to the dark and gloomy  "Imperial March" from Star Wars, as if it it were my very own sound track.

Because of the dramatic song change and because of God's grace, we both burst out laughing! We talked about how it was the part in the film when The Emperor is telling Luke Skywalker to be consumed by anger, and that is exactly what I had allowed to happen. I had got angry rather than love my son. I had been consumed by my emotions rather than patiently taking time to explain. I had got stressed rather than have godly self control. I had tried to do the morning in my own strength rather than rely on God's. It was an amusing and humbling moment as I once again had to apologise to and be forgiven by my son and thank God for His faithful grace towards me. I'm so grateful that God never deals with me in anger, but is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

We decided it would be a great idea, if every time I got a bit cross "The Imperial March" started in the background, because then I would be aware of my emotions and would be reminded to change my behaviour. Thankfully, I know I have the Holy Spirit, speaking to me and prompting  me in these moments to go to God and giving me the power to change my behaviour and my attitude. Now I just need to convince the boys that The Holy Spirit's power and the Jedi Force are very different.

"And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming;

 “The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God,

slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness.."

                                                                 Exodus 34v6

"Strangers On A Train"

As I sat on the train on the journey home, I found myself sitting next to a chatty, friendly stranger called Louise. She offered me and the other stranger at the table, a glass of wine each. And her and her boyfriend shared a glass. A new friend for the journey. We talked about books and films. I now have a new recommended film to view from Kieran, her boyfriend. We talked about home schooling with Chris the other stranger  at our table. We talked about our kids, the beauty of Quentin Blake (me and Louise share a love for his illustrations), we talked about Brighton and engagement rings. (Not sure the boyfriend will appreciate that part!) We talked about who would get killed off first if the train scenario was actually part of a book. It was a wonderful journey home.

I was struck by my new friend on the train. Her warmth, and generosity, and interest in people's lives. She wasn't afraid to give her opinion, or be open to other's thoughts. Anyone who shares their wine with me on the train, strikes me as kind and thoughtful, and selfless. She could've quite happily just drank wine with her man and conversed with him only, and that would have been totally acceptable. But I'm so pleased that her qualities shone beyond the awkwardness of strangers on a train.

This morning I received post, which I love. In this technological age, it is so nice to get hand written post from a friend. The letter was one of encouragement, and my friend reminded me that I am made in God's image. It made me think back to my encounter with Louise yesterday. I don't know her beliefs or if she holds any kind of faith, but the qualities of warmth, kindness, and a selfless attitude that she showed, reminds me that she too is made in God's image. Any act of kindness, hospitality, sacrificial love, or goodness that people show is because we are all made in the image of God, whether we choose to know Him or not. Today I will look for other examples of this and be encouraged by who God is as I see His image displayed in the people around me.

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness….”
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

                              Genesis 1v26-27

The Great Escape

I'm sitting on a train, alone. Well technically I'm not alone, I'm  with all the commuters to London. But I'm alone in the sense that it's just me that I know. I'm not talking to anyone. I'm not responsible for any of these people. None of these people need me. None of them are hoping I've got Fruit Shoots  and Cheddars on me. None of them are asking if we are there yet. None of them are climbing on me. None of them are dancing in the aisle and need me to ask them to move. They are all just quietly reading their papers or playing/emailing on their phones. 

I'm struck by the size of my bag. It's small and pink. It has a phone, my keys, a wallet and a book in it. That's it. No nappies, no wipes, no antibacterial hand gel, no Lego, no McDonalds toys playing Beyonce, no bits of broken biscuit at the bottom. No one would even know I'm a mum as I sit on this train. 


I'm off for a couple of days away with my sister in law. Between us we have seven boys, but for today and tomorrow, it's just us. Just us, no responsibilities, no one needing us, no bulk meals to prepare, no packed lunches to make, no buggy to push, no shoes to tie, no little teeth to brush, no uniform to put out, no one to serve. No responsibilities just adult conversation, chocolate, wine, pistachio nuts, books and the Pride and Prejudice series on dvd which I've never seen.


I am fully aware that I could treat these two days in one of two ways. I have recently read an article about escapism, so I know I could look at these two days as a way of escape. Avoiding my real life and opting for two days of all the things I don't get to do with a great sense of abandonment and escape; all that I deserve! 
Or I could look at these two days as a way of refreshment and rest in order to plug straight back into my real life. I could still get to do all the things I don't get to do, but view it as a blessing, rather than something I deserve. 


I know that one of the enticements of escapism would be to escape from God too. To have just 'me time' but what a wasted opportunity if I do this. Even though the husband and my boys don't need me these two days, I still have a responsibility to them. I have a responsibility to make sure I go home rested, refreshed, and with renewed energy for them, but also to go home with my relationship with God strengthened so that I can be all I have been called to be by Him.


I do not want to go home just rested to the avoidance of going home renewed. I do not want to go home after two days of just 'me time' to the avoidance of 'intimate me and God time'. I do not want to go home just knowing I have conversed and laughed with my sister in law to the avoidance of pouring out my heart to my heavenly father and saviour. I do not want to go back home knowing Mr Darcy a little better to the avoidance of knowing Jesus Christ better.


So I will laugh and chat and watch Mr Darcy's smouldering looks, I will drink a little wine and eat a little chocolate, but I will also plan to walk and talk with He who brings great rest and renewal and comfort and strength and joy. I need it for myself and I need it for those God has asked me to serve.


"but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40v31

Claim the Reward

When it was raining recently, my oldest took off his hooded jacket, and gave it to his younger brother who's jacket didn't have a hood. He did it without any prompting. He selflessly loved his brother. Hallelujah! All the training of the past seven years paid off in this one incident. It encouraged me to keep going with all the daily seed planting and heart training, even when it looks like there is no fruit in teaching them. After all, God so gently and so patiently keeps training my heart even when I am slow to bear fruit!

I was so pleased with my boy, and told him so. I told him that God loves seeing selfless acts of love, because it is the essence of what He did when He gave His son to die for us. My son sometimes asks in these situations if he can tell his dad or if that's being proud. I find it hard to make a call on things like this so I leave it to the husband, and seeing as the husband wants to cultivate a home where our boys can talk to him about anything, he inevitably says yes to them.

It got me wondering about my own motivation to do things. Stopping to ask the questions "Am I doing this to look good? To impress someone? To make people think better of me?  To get recognised? To gain some kind of earthly reward or proud trophy?" Or am I doing it to be selfless, following Jesus example, and therefore bringing glory to God? I'd hate to think how many times my heart's motivation is wrong. I find it hard not even pointing out to the husband when I've hoovered or put the washing away. I want him to be pleased with me and say something fabulously encouraging about my selfless act. I want to get that small bit of earthly recognition. But the bible is very clear about such motivations. No reward from my Father in Heaven! Is it really worth seeking man's approval when I miss out eternally? I think not!

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people
 in order to be seen by them,
for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven."
                                                                        Matthew 6v1

That's Not My Name

"Mum, can I have a drink?...Mum, I need you...Mum, can you wipe my bottom?...Mum, he hit me...Mum, where's my uniform?...Mummy...Mum, I've swallowed a piece of Lego...Mum, can you help me with my homework?...Mum, look at me jump...Mum, why did God put metal in the earth?...Mummy...Mum, I'm hungry...Mum, can I have Sport's Candy?...Mum, where's dad?...Mum, come see...Mum, can you deal with him...Mum, what you typing?...Mum, I need string and some glue...Mummy...Mum, I'm stuck...Mum, can you play with me...Mum, I'm hungry...Mum, maybe we should calm down with a DVD...Mummy...Mum, can you make Buzz a spaceship...Mum...Mum...Mum..."

After a day of this, I turned to our lodger and said "I think I might change my name". And her response was simply quite profound in that moment; "Mum isn't your name." Her comment stunned me, I don't think I believed what she said. Of course Mum is my name, I get called it a few hundred times a day. It is what I am most often referred to as. It is what I do, so it must be who I am. Even the husband will say things like; "Ask mum". That's me, that's who I am. That's my name!

But actually our lodger (and wise friend) is right. Mum is not my name. It is one of my roles; a challenging, wonderful, blessed role, But it does not define who I am. The husband sometimes asks me if I feel more like a mum or more like a wife. And if I answer 'mum', it usually results in him booking us a date night. Which is of course a result, so hopefully he's reading this! But of course 'wife' doesn't  define me either. So what does?

"In love he predestined us for adoption
 as sons through Jesus Christ,
according to the purpose of his will,
to the praise of his glorious grace,
with which he has blessed us in the Beloved." 
                                                  Ephesians 1v5-6

My identity is in Jesus christ. Because of what He has done for me on the cross, I am adopted and blessed as God's beloved. I am loved and forgiven and chosen and adopted as His. I am righteous in His sight because of Jesus Christ. I am my beloved's and He is mine. This is my identity, whilst being a mum and a wife, and anything else for that matter.

9 A Day

During a slightly stressful moment in our house, I sent a text to a couple of friends. Slightly tongue in cheek I asked "What are the fruit of the Spirit again and do I really have to try and show them all at the same time?" Their wonderful responses ranged from "I'm about to boil over myself" to "It's about dwelling in the Spirit, which enables us to show such fruit, it's not about 'trying harder'." In short, go and pray, rather than try harder and end up losing it at the boys!

I asked my eldest if he could remind me of the fruit of the Spirit and he did. It's one of the verses the husband has taught him. 

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Galations 5v22-23

We often ask him what the second part of the verse means, "And against such things there is no law". And because we often ask him, he was able to respond (in that way a child responds when his parents try to drum in a lesson) by saying that there is no limit to how kind and loving he can be to his brothers. Some of the lessons we teach our boys, seem so easy when we are teaching them to grasp something. But when I'm reminded to put that verse into practice, I can so easily forget this part. I tend to think that I have already been long suffering about something for long enough, or I have already showed that person kindness or gentleness. Or I was self controlled yesterday. Or my patience has run out. But I need to remember that there is no law (and no amount of reasoning, however good they seem) against such things.

My second son asked me what we were talking about, so I grabbed the teaching opportunity. I said that when we plant an apple seed in soil and water it and look after it, after time an apple tree grows and produces healthy apples. And likewise if we plant ourselves in Jesus then as we grow, we will produce fruit like kindness and gentleness. On asking him if he understood, he replied, "I am an apple!" Not put off, by his silly answer in a silly voice, I showed great patience by explaining it once more, in a very gentle, self controlled tone. I even acted out a seed being planted and growing healthy fruit and likened this to planting ourselves in the Holy Spirit, and us growing good fruit. I asked again if he had understood, and he replied, "Can I show you my Nanny McPhee impression by sticking pieces of Lego in my teeth?"

I gave up and accepted that maybe the best way to teach him about the Fruit of the Spirit, was to model it to him, which is often a bigger challenge than teaching it!

Another Blue Toothbrush

Previous OneBluetoothbrush(Matt Hosier)

Just to clarify, I'm not pregnant as the title may suggest. But rather I've asked another dad of daughters to comment on life as One Blue Toothbrush. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Matt Simmonds.

Hello I’m not Emma, I’m Matt. Surprise. I have three daughters, ranging from 5 years old to 18 months. A few weeks back my eldest daughter opened our front door and proclaimed to a neighbour of ours that mummy couldn’t answer the door as she was changing the sheets because ‘daddy had an accident in the bed’. Since then lurid rumours have been spreading so I’d like to use the worldwide platform that Emma’s blog gives me to clearly state that this did NOT happen.
I can’t find even the most tenuous link to connect the above story to the following article Emma asked me to pen but ho-hum, I trust it got your attention.
I guess what it does give is a small window into the world of family Simmonds. We like to have fun, laughter and lots of it. Games of Rugby are frequent (I always win), shouting competitions are an occasional pastime (I win those too) and dancing competitions get the blood flowing on rainy afternoons (I don’t need to tell you who wins those). Having kids doesn’t have to be a chore, a fight or a battle.
As well as fun we major on themes like kindness, compassion, generosity, quick forgiveness, obedience etc. Oft quoted phrases include cheesy lines like ‘Simmonds Girls Share’ & ‘Guests Get Best’.

Much of our parenting rationale is influenced by something God spoke to us whilst Jo was pregnant with our third daughter about our daughter’s middle names; Grace, Rose & Joy. There was no deliberate intention in any of their names other than Grace being my mothers name, however we felt God say that these middle names would reflect each of the girls characters. That’s shaped our parenting and our prayers.

We’re also convinced it’s crucial that girls know the love of their dad, lack of space in this article precludes me from properly elaborating on ‘the why’. Although I will say briefly, that for girls in particular to be secure in my love isn’t the end goal, not really. Actually I want them to be secure in the love of God, but knowing the love of an earthly father will go a long way to helping them recognise love from their heavenly father.
Now, to be straight with you folks, I’m not the most tactile chap but I’ve deliberately put that to one side (with 3 girls that wasn’t difficult). My girls get kisses, cuddles, bundles, and tickles in abundance. I ensure my speech isn’t inhibited either; encouragement and affectionate language are so vital and I hope are dished from my lips in abundance.

One thing I didn’t tell you about the story at the beginning is that I discovered later that the UNTRUE comment was actually planted in my daughter’s fertile mind by my dear wife. Thanks love. Despite this deception Jo (my wife) and I work very much as a team. We’re now outnumbered so we have to work as a team. Parenting is very much like riding a tandem bike, you can’t go in differing directions and if you try, you’ll just fall over, together.

What's on Your Finger?

Yesterday I took a bag of vegetables to my friend's house. I knew I had people coming for dinner, and I wouldn't have proper time to chop the veg and prep for dinner after the school run. So after a few cups of coffee, lunch with four mums and seven kids, a tadpole disaster, a few discipline opportunities and a brief but honest chat, I headed off to the school run with the same bag of vegetables, unchopped. And my afternoon went something like this...

Pick up two boys from school.

Carry two sleeping boys and a bag of vegetables into the house.

Send oldest two to get out of their uniform.

Put a DVD on.

Make four drinks and four snacks. 
Start chopping vegetables. (Skip peeling)
Put thirty sausages under the grill.
Chop more vegetables.
Sort out a 'disagreement' between two boys.
Check sausages.

Say "Wait a minute" to the youngest calling me.

Start to turn sausages.

Say "Wait a minute" to the youngest calling me.

Wonder what is on youngest's fingers.

Smell youngest's fingers.
Gag on the smell of poo.
Shove sausages back under the grill.
Repeatedly say "Don't touch anything. Don't touch anything."

Grab wet wipes.

Wet wipe the youngest.
Antibacterialise youngest's fingers.
Strip the youngest.
Throw clothes near washing machine.
Change a nappy on kitchen floor.
Throw nappy in outside bin.
Antibacterialise my fingers.
Smell slightly burning sausages.
Say "No" to boys asking for raw carrots and apples.
Realise it's the only way to get fruit & veg in them tonight... 
Change "no to carrots and apples" to "Yes to carrots and apples".
Hand out four carrots.
Turn grill down.
Text someone to bring two chairs and milk tonight.
Chop some vegetables.
Fry some vegetables, with youngest on hip.
Hand out more carrots.
Put dummy in youngest's mouth.
Laugh.
Text the husband to ask for Estimated Time of Arrival.
Add half an hour to the husband's Estimated Time of Arrival.
Open some plum tomatoes.
Vaguely read recipe.
Tell youngest "Hot hot hot" as I move each sausage to the plates by hand.
Stop youngest drinking Antibacterial gel.
Take a photo of the table.

Laugh.

Quote to myself,

"You know when I sit and when I rise;
   you perceive my thoughts from afar.

 You discern my going out and my lying down;
   you are familiar with all my ways." (Psalm 139v2-3)

Feel encouraged by the fact that God is watching me and my day.

Feel encouraged that He is familiar with all my ways.

Hand out four plates of sausages.

Think the plates look a bit empty.

Remember they've had carrots and apples.

Butter some bread and give them chocolate biscuits.

Find a Bonus Feature on the DVD to keep them occupied for a few more minutes.

Throw vegetables, sausages and other stuff in a big pan and stick it in the oven.

Stop the youngest from playing with the clothes by the washing machine.

Praise the Lord for the sound of keys in the door.

Kiss the husband.

Notice him scan the kitchen and not react.

Start to clear the table.

Thank the husband for his help.

Clean two toilets.

Put four little people to bed.

Set the table.

Breathe.

The Heart of the Matter

Undoubtedly the Toy Story Trilogy rocks! What's not to love? A Space Ranger (now with Spanish mode) a Cowboy, fantastic story lines, humour, friendship, little green men, Barbie & Ken, plus heartfelt emotion. (Even the husband and his brother found the incinerator scene quite hard to watch!) We waited with anticipation for Toy Story 3 in our house. And it didn't fail to win our affection. I watched it on Christmas day, and bawled because I thought my boys were about to leave me to go to college! Then I realised I had about eleven years until that may start happening.

Now with all good kid's films, there is always a baddie. Boo...Hiss... Sid the boy next door, Stinky Pete the Prospector, and Emperor Zurg. But Toy Story 3 presents us with Lotso. Lotso is a soft cuddly bear who smells of strawberries, and comes across as very kind, gentle and caring. But no no no. Lotso is a mean, selfish bear. He was rejected and became a bitter and hard hearted 'not so cuddly bear'. There is a moment in the film, where Lotso has a chance to redeem himself. Woody helps the undeserving bear because he is in danger. But when he has a chance to help the others, he opts out and chooses to think only of himself. Boo...hiss...indeed!


I thought I'd use Lotso Bear's antics as an opportunity to teach the boys. So I asked them what they thought was wrong with Lotso. My eldest responded that he was nice on the outside, but inside his heart was selfish. We looked at Proverbs 27v19 "As in water reflects face, so the heart of man reflects the man." The boys needed the verse explaining to them, so I spoke to them about how if we look in water, we can see what our face looks like. And so it is with our heart. If we look at what we say and do, it shows us what our heart is like. We looked at Lotso's heart, and talked about his actions and his words. Mark Driscoll puts it quite clearly "Your heart is the reflecting of your identity, of your essence, of your nature. It is a reflection of who you are." And Lotso's identity, essence and nature shows us that his heart is cold, mean and selfish. He had allowed his rejection to turn into bitterness and selfishness.


We also looked at Psalm 51v10
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." And we asked God to do that for us. We asked Him to make our hearts good and clean, and that people would be able to know what our hearts looked like, by looking at our words and actions. My hope for when we train and discipline our boys, is that their hearts are changed which is reflected in their behviour and not the other way round.

Out of the mouths of babes

A wise old elder (not sure he'll enjoy being referred to as that) told me yesterday to look for what God may be saying to me, through what my children are saying and doing sometimes. So taken to the extreme, this of course could be quite amusing. I don't think God is telling me to believe in dragons. Neither is He pointing out to me that there is some great spiritual message in the building of a Lego spaceship. I don't think that God is saying He wants me to talk like Yoda. I also don't think He is telling me to use my 'spiritual scooter' today, or eat yoghurt with my hands or throw expensive things in the bin.

But what He may well be saying to me is to follow the example of my three year old, which is humbling. Today I heard him downstairs, building with Duplo while singing "Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord, let the sea(!) hear His voice...Come to the Father, through Jesus the Son" over and over again. He then came upstairs to me, where I told him that I had loved hearing his singing to Jesus. He asked me if he could help me to put the washing away, which he proceeded to do. Later when his dad was explaining to him, that God loves that he was serving his mummy. He replied "God loves me so much. He loves me when I'm good, He loves me when I'm naughty, He loves me all the time. I want to give Him all my money".

Wow, humbling indeed. So in short, through watching my son today and learning from his example, I am to;

Build whilst worshipping.
Worship before serving.
Know what God's love and grace looks like.
And give all I've got to Him.

Amen to that!

  "At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying,

 "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"

 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said,

 "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children,

 you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."

                                                                                         Matthew 18v1-4

Obey Straight Away

This morning I read from my son's Good News Bible because my own bible is sitting on the back seat of my friend's car. Someone had offered to have the baby for a couple of hours so that I could go and get some 'head space', drink tea, and read. (A complete blessing, which felt like I had enjoyed a week's restful beach holiday, rather than just a couple of child free hours, sitting down, drinking tea!) So with my son's Good News Bible open, I found his scrawled writing on a blank page which said "I love God and the bible". Such a wonderful statement to read.

I found myself reading Proverbs 3v5 and was struck by the simplicity of the words.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know."
Never rely on what I think I know....Mmm this stuck with me, perhaps because I totally rely on what I think I know. I rely on my own thoughts about myself and about God and about others. I rely on my feelings and what I think I know about God's character, and how He views me. I rely on what I think I know about people in my life too.

I found myself feeling quite challenged by this little verse which I had read so many times before in my own bible. And I started to see that when I do rely on what I think I know, it usually ends up pretty fruitless.
When I rely on what I think I know about God, I can come up with all sorts of wrong thinking about trying to earn His love and acceptance. Rather than dwelling in the truth of His lavish gift of love, and accepting what His son's death meant for me.
When I rely on what I think I know about myself, I can quickly end up swimming in my own pride, thinking how great I am. Or likewise I can start drowning with thoughts of how bad I am, and can't possibly be loved.
When I rely on what I think I know about others, I can end up making judgements about them or comparing myself to them.
Relying on what I think I know is fruitless. It does not bring any life. It brings worry, doubt, fear, judgement, and insecurity. It is disobedient to not trust in the Lord. It is sinful to rely on what I think I know!

Verse 2 says, "My teaching will give you a long and prosperous life." Well, that quite simply sounds fruitful and brings life. And a prosperous, long life at that! We say to our kids all the time "When do we obey?" and with joyful hearts they are meant to reply "Straight away!" Yet I have read this verse before and I have not obeyed straight away, nor have I obeyed with a joyful heart. Relying on what I think I know, brings death. Obedience and trust of God's word, however simple the verse, brings a long and prosperous life.

Lord, please help me to obey you straight away.