Mary, Martha and Me (Part Two)

...Continued from Part One

So yesterday I shared about my 'Mary moment' in amoungst my many 'Martha moments'. And today, I read the account in Luke's gospel again, and thought about the two sisters. I kind of feel a bit sorry for Martha. She is remembered throughout history as 'the one who was too busy to sit at Jesus' feet'. She is used in illustrations about priorities, and quiet times and some people have even blogged about the poor woman!


I feel sorry for her, because I can relate to her. I know what it's like to be "distracted with all the preperations that have to be made". I know what it's like to be distracted by serving, to be the one serving the family, the one making sure everything is thought of, making sure everything is in the nappy bag for any eventuality, the one making a pudding for small group, the one serving the church in some way, and at times the one missing out on the preach because I get called out to change a nappy.


As a mother, there is a tendancy for me to see myself as just a 'Martha'. I do feel drawn to be like Mary and have 'Mary moments', sitting at the feet of jesus, resting in His presence. But I have often resigned myself to the fact that I am a Martha, at least for this season of life. ('The messy years' as Phillippa Stroud once put it.) But how wonderfully encouraged I felt as I read Alie Stibbe's book "Barefoot in the kitchen". She pointed me to John 11v5 "Now Jesus loved Martha, Mary and Lazurus", and commented that 'Martha is as dear to Jesus as her sister is'. Martha isn't a lesser version of Mary. Martha, the one who was too busy was loved by Jesus, no more than Mary and no less than Mary. Mary's time spent at Jesus' feet hadn't earned her more favour from Jesus and Martha's busyness hadn't discounted her from Jesus' love either. So if Jesus loved Mary just as she was and He loved Martha just as she was, then I rest in the knowledge that He must love me just as I am too.

 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 

 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."      Romans 8v37-39

Click here for Part Three

Mary, Martha and Me (Part One)

Yesterday was busy with the usual moments which make my days seem busy; dishwasher empty, dishwasher full, washing in machine, washing on the line, juice spilt, juice moped up, dinner cooked, dinner cleared away, clothes in piles, clothes in drawers, nappies on baby, nappies expelled to an outside bin!! There were a few added moments too; waiting at the doctors, waiting at the chemist, sorting out the football kit and driving one to football.


In a quiet moment, when the baby was asleep and the three year old was doing some 'I feel poorly DVD watching'. I grabbed my bible, my journal, a pen, a book on God's character, a book on godly parenting and a short booklet on grace and I sat down to read... The three year old decided that the nice comfy bed I had made up for him on the sofa, wasn't what he needed and he climbed onto my lap. I laughed to myself as I sat surrounded by my books. I had about a twenty minute window. What was I thinking? How much was I really going to be able to get through? A study on God's character, some parenting tips, a read of the bible and then journal about it? I had somehow even made my quiet moment, busy!


I thought about what two of my friends had said recently. One of them has a baby, a busy husband and a house renovation all going on at the same time. So she now has her very own 'Park and Read' system, where she goes for a drive so the baby falls asleep, she parks up and because it is impossible to be busy in the car, she reads or prays or snoozes. My other friend after hearing I was going to try to press into God and try to get refreshed in His presence, suggested that maybe I just needed to climb onto God's lap for a cuddle. As I looked at the three year old on my lap, who was seeking a cuddle and my time, I felt God embrace me too. So I closed my eyes and prayed. I sat on my Heavenly Father's lap and thanked Him for revealing His character to me and His parenting of me without the books this time.

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

   “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”    
               Luke 10v38-42

Click here for Part Two

God Plus Nothing

This week I watched some of the news with my oldest boys. I wanted them to see the terrible situation in Japan, so that we could talk about it and pray together for the country. We couldn't quite believe the devastating pictures we were seeing. I told the boys that we needed to pray. And we needed to thank God that he was sovereign and ask for Him to help. My eldest asked why God didn't just stop it, and I said I didn't fully know, but that God was still in control. My boy looked puzzled. I know he was thinking 'How can God be in control of such a bad thing?' And I felt puzzled. But I wanted them to know that God is in control, all the time.

I'd heard this recently in a preaching series from Job, by PJ Smythe*. He said that Job didn't worship God because He was blessed with children and prosperity. Job didn't worship God because he had property and good health. He worshipped God because He was God. When all Job had was taken away, he still worshipped God. PJ asked which way do we live our lives?

'God + something = worship',  or 'God + nothing = worship'.

The two are very different. One is living in an understanding of God's sovereignty.  And the other is not. The 'God + something' way of life is saying that we will worship God if we have something else added on. I wonder what the 'somethings' are that I want, before I will worship God? Could it be that I worship God if I have good health or if my prayers for healing get answered? Or is it if I understand certain situations or if the kids are being good? Do I worship God if I've had a peaceful night's sleep, or if I know the answers to the "Why?" questions in life or if I'm not experiencing a natural disaster? These are all definitely good things to worship my Heavenly Father for, like it says in the book of James, 'every good and perfect gift is from God'. But what if I don't have these things, do I still worship Him? Do I acknowledge His sovereignty at all times, in all things?


God is ultimately sovereign over the good and the bad that happens. Either He is actively instigating it or permitting it to happen. Knowing that He is God and He is in charge of it all; the good and the bad, is hard to understand. I find it easy to worship God for all His answered prayer and blessings in my life. But sometimes I put clauses in, like the ones above, as to whether I worship God or not. If it's going well, I may praise Him more. But I realise that He is to be worshipped regardless of the situation. Regardless of my emotions. Regardless of whether I understand or like what's going on. And I want my boys to see me worshipping God at all times, during all situations. I want them to know that He is God. He is in charge. His sovereignty rules.

"...he who is the blessed and only Sovereign,
           the king of kings and Lord of lords..."
                                        1Timothy6v15

"At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head.

       Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
      and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
       may the name of the LORD be praised.”

In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing."

                                         Job 1v20-22

*PJ Smythe's preach; http://godfirst.co.za/node/806

Incomparable

When I attempt to have a worship time, a grown up worship time on my own, I sometimes find myself singing songs from my childhood; "My God is so Big, so Strong and so Mighty, there's nothing that He cannot do." I don't think I have as yet, launched into the actions alone in the kitchen, but maybe I should give it a go. My boys now sing a song they have learned from COGs, the kids work at our church; "Our God is a Great Big God...and He holds us in His hands". I try to remember the wonderful worship songs that I know from the wealth of songwriters at our church, but I do seem to get stuck on the chirpy little ones that are quite simple and easy to remember. 

I think that maybe God likes to remind me of some simple easy truths through these bouncy musical numbers. I don't think I dwell enough on just how big God is. I come to Him with my prayers; about me, and my life, and my boys and my marriage, and my problems and my needs. And I don't always remember that I come before God Himself. I come to the creator of the world. It's not actually about me, and my life. It's about Him. I don't always stop to consider His wonderful magnitude. His awesome creativity. And just how amazingly big He is. Big is such an understatement. But for simplicity's sake it will do.  

I read the following chapters and verses today which made me dwell on God's bigness. I had a bible study with a friend, via the wonderful medium of text! We sent each other verses which made us stand in awe of God's bigness and sovereignty. By the end of it I felt small like grass, and amazed that such a Great Big God would also have abundant love and lavish grace for those who fear Him. Isaiah 45v18-25, Job 38&39, Isaiah 40v9-31

I am also reminded of Andrew Wilson's "Incomparable" book, and in particular a quote from Nicky Gumble;On 20th August 1977, voyager II, the inter-planetary probe launched to observe and transmit to earth data about the outer planetary system, set off from earth traveling faster than the speed of a bullet (90,000 miles per hour). On 28th August 1989 it reached planet Neptune, 2,700 million miles from the earth. Voyager II then left the solar system. It will not come within one light year of any star for 958,000 years. In our Galaxy there are 100,000 million stars, like our sun. Our galaxy is one of 100,000 million Galaxies. In a throw away line in Genesis, the writer tells us, ‘He also made the stars’ (Genesis 1:16). Such is his power.’

Today my song shall be "My God is so Big, so Strong and so Mighty, there's nothing that He cannot do." And I will attempt some actions whether the kids are with me or not.

 

The Other Husband (Part Two)

...continued from Part One

So the husband may at times be in a different zone to me and the boys. He may be physically busy or mentally busy. He may find himself ill, the kind of ill where you have to keep bringing him toast in bed. And ask the boys to play secret agents in an attempt to keep them quiet so he can sleep. He may be tired. He may be working late or away from home. He may have done a hard day's work and need some downtime. He may be serving someone else. And sometimes he may just not notice my needs or meet my expectations.

God's grace is available for all such ocassions. But I am only able to show grace if I am dwelling in My Beloved's presence, experiencing His grace, His word and His truth. At times, I don't do this though. Instead I attempt to show the husband 'my grace', in place of God's grace. My grace quickly forgets, and quickly runs out, and is actually downright selfish and isn't really grace at all!

In our early married days, in these moments I would go quiet on the husband. I've stopped that now after he brought to my attention that it felt like I was punishing him. Or I would say all was fine, and give a smile. But it was ever so fake, and we both could see that. (We once watched a film, where FINE was an acronym for Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional, which pretty much summed it all up!). God in His grace, over the years has used many ways to show me how I can live in the good of that grace and let it affect all my relationships.

This includes how I relate to the husband. Do I only love him when he is being all that I need him to be, when he's meeting all my expectations? Do I only love him because I want to be loved in return? Do I only love him when he is ticking all the boxes? Do I only love him when he is well, and energetic and attentive? Do I only love him when he is helping out with the boys? Or do I love him unconditionally, like the vows I took, said I would? Do I love him with a selfless love? Do I love him with the unconditional love that Jesus has modelled to me? Do I want my boys to see examples of selfless and unconditional love? Do I remember that God's grace is sufficient for me even when I haven't done any of this? Mmm...time to delve deeper into God's grace and go love the husband.

"My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you."

                                                            John 15v12

"Love is patient, love is kind.

       It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 

 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,

      it keeps no record of  wrongs. 

 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

       It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails.."

                                                           1 Corinthians 13v4-8

The Other Husband (Part One)

The husband is a wonderful man. He's committed to me and our family, he reads a marriage or parenting book every 6 months or so. He asks me whether I am feeling more like his wife or "just a mum" on a regular basis. He listens when I ask for a date night. He puts the coffee and sweetener in my mug and boils the kettle so that its ready for when I need it, and makes me laugh so much.  However there are the odd occasions when he is not quite in the same zone as me. He may be in the work zone, the tired zone, the ill zone or the iPhone zone. He may be unable to be at home due to work commitments. He may have worked so hard that he falls asleep when he's at home. He may be at home in body but not quite in mind.

And this is when I need to remember that I am my beloved's and He is mine. And by My Beloved, I mean Jesus. According to God's word, I am part of the church, and the church is the bride and the bridegroom is Jesus. He has made me spotless and righteous. He is an attentive husband to me. He is never too busy. He is never asleep.  He is available to me at all times. He knows me so very well. He loves me. He understands me. He chose me. He is consistent. He is faithful. And He is never on an iPhone.

I often go to the husband first when I should go to My Beloved. I sometimes try to be content in the husband's love, when I actually need to dwell in My Beloved's love. I seek acceptance from the husband, whereas it is My Beloved who accepts me fully. I expect alot from the husband, whereas it is My Beloved who will actually fulfil all my needs.  This is always true and would be true even if God hadn't blessed me with a wonderful husband at all.

"As a young man marries a young woman,

          so will your Builder marry you;

as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride,

         so will your God rejoice over you."

                                              Isaiah 62v5

Click here for Part Two

Amazing Grace...

The husband came home from work the other day and asked me how my day had been. Now I know perfectly well that from the tone I was using, and the slightly heavy cupboard-door closing that was going on in the kitchen, that he could assess for himself how my day had been. And maybe that was what had even prompted him to ask.  

I proceeded to tell him my day had been rubbish and that I had been a rubbish mum. The husband deals very well with these slight over exaggerations of mine. Firstly he gives me a hug, because it's his love language. Secondly he asks the boys if they can think of any ways they may have caused 'fun mum' to turn into 'slightly crabby mum'. After they have said sorry, he then asks me if there is anything I need to repent of. And lastly he says "Grace". I'm usually slightly annoyed with him by this point. My pride doesn't want me to repent. And my self pity wants me to wallow and write the whole day off.

However the husband is right. And he's right because he understands Grace. He has read up on it and he has listened to Terry Virgo's four talks on it. http://kingschurch.org.nz/?s=virgo So after eating a little chocolate and thinking that might help me. And after wasting some time in front of the TV, thinking that might help me. I asked the husband to pray for me and I listened to the first talk.

Wow! The more I understand what living by grace actually means, the more releasing it is. The more freeing it is. The more wonderful it is. To know that God accepts and loves me completely as I am and that I cannot earn righteousness by being 'Super mum'. Neither can I lose it by being 'Crabby mum'. Righteousness is a free gift. I may have made a few bad decisions throughout the day which I need to repent of, but that doesn't change how my father in heaven views me. It doesn't mean I am a 'rubbish mum'. It means I am a sinner who needs grace. And that grace is available to me. (To be continued...)
    
"For if, by the sin of the one man, death reigned through that one man,
       how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace
and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ."
                                                                                   Romans 5v17

"Aint No Mountain High Enough"

My boys are being taught many things by the husband. Two of these are climbing and risk taking, which seem to go hand in hand. My eldest will spot the highest part of a park and set himself the challenge to reach it and then wave at me. I then have to casually wave back without any fear on my face, take a photo and smile at the other mums who are relieved its not their child. Seeing as he's the eldest, he often sets the example to his three brothers. So I find the 5yr old at the top of the shed, the baby on top of the DVD cupboard, and when we drive past the new stadium being built, the 3yr old proudly claims that he will one day climb it!

It got me thinking that my eldest especially, doesn't really see the limitations in things. I recently heard Keith Hazel preach on limitations. And how we shouldn't allow limitations to restrict us. Joseph was sold into slavery and ended up in prison for years, but didn't allow these limitations to limit his belief in God or God's destiny for him.

I often hide behind limitations, and I see others doing the same. We hide behind limitations of our character, of our feelings, or how tired we are, or the impossibility of things in the natural, or how many kids we have. We hide behind the limitations the enemy may whisper to us. We hide behind the limitations of finance, or we let limitations direct our prayer life.

The bible is very clear on limitations. I've been reading Mark recently, where I've been struck by the way people refused to let limitations stop them from getting a touch from Jesus. When a paralyzed man wanted a touch from Jesus, he and his four friends didn't allow a busy room to be a limitation. They climbed on the roof and dug their way through and lowered him down in front of Jesus. When Jesus saw their faith, He healed the man and forgave His sins.

God has been challenging me lately to pray through limitations. It's really helping me to keep my view point focused not on the hopeless situation or my limitations but on a limitless God.

        Jesus looked at them and said,

           “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

                                                                                                    Matthew 19v26

        Surely the arm of the LORD is not too short to save,

           nor his ear too dull to hear.

                                                                                                     Isaiah 59:1

The 3yr Old Crashed The Car; How Do You Tell The Husband?

Yesterday I spent the morning writing a comic with my eldest about Team Super; a group of Super heroes who save the world by firing bogeys onto a volcano to put out the lava. Followed by 2 hours at the dentist, playing 'I Spy' with the boys using the other people in the waiting room as topics for I spying;  like "N for that man's nostrils". This morning I spent an hour in a cold and wet park, running up and down the zip wire path, pushing my own kids and three random french kids, before bribing all four little people with doughnuts and drinks to do the supermarket shop with me. And this afternoon, I had to ring the husband to ask what the appropriate punishment was for a three year old who crashed our car?! He had climbed over the front seat and somehow managed to put the handbrake down with his foot, so the car quickly rolled down the car park into a metal bar. I then had to listen to the husband say it wasn't a punishable offence, as it wasn't an act of disobedience; it was an accident and accidents happen.

God is so good. But today I can't quite put my finger on the one particular God moment to highlight in this blog post, perhaps someone else will have some insight or a verse to sum it up?

Fifi shows me up!

I sometimes have the joy of hearing how Roary, Timmy, Harry, Charlie and Stingy are getting on. The delightful world of Children's Television! Yesterday, Fifi and her Flower Tot friends were making pancakes and having harmonious kitchen fun together. But Stingo, the slightly self absorbed wasp was stealing the pancakes! Terrible thing to do in the Flower Tot Garden! However, at the end of the programme Stingo had said sorry and asked if he was allowed to eat the pancakes with his friends. And good old Fifi let him share the pancakes and harmonious kitchen fun was resumed.

And then it hit me! Fifi, the pretend children's  T.V character had done a better job of forgiving her light fingered wasp friend, than I had done last night with one of my sons. He had done something wrong so he was disciplined. He said he was sorry, and I said he was forgiven. But over dinner I bought the incident up again and was still cross with him about it. I had not let go of it. I had said I had forgiven him, but it turns out I hadn't. I had not showed him what true forgiveness looked like, therefore I had not modelled Jesus' forgiveness to him.

We talked about Fifi's example of forgiveness, which to my shame had been better than my own, and I said I was sorry. My son forgave me properly, and harmonious kitchen fun was resumed.

     "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked,  

           “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister

       who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

           Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times."

                                                                  Matthew 18v21-22

    "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you,

           your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

     But if you do not forgive others their sins,

          your Father will not forgive your sins."

                                                                  Matthew 6v14-15

The Tonka, Me and a Boy of Three

I sometimes find myself trying to find a serene tranquil moment so that I can pray. Afterall, the Bible tells me to, 'Be still and know that He is God'. Then I remember that I live with four boys aged seven, five, three and 18months. And these boys are just not the serene types. I'm pretty sure they came out of the womb, playing percussion, and living life to the fullest. Neither am I married to a serene type. The husband isn't known for his peace and calm. If anything, he hypes them up. He's one of those 'rough and tumble' types. He plays dodgeball at them, which they seem to thrive on. He encourages them to act out "The Walls of Jericho" and have dance battles with him. We once had to bring in a rule of 'no roaring at people', because it just got too much. We also had to stop watching the classic, 'Shark Boy, Lava Girl', because one of those not-so-serene sons of mine, was biting ankles!

Because life is a bit like that, I live with the daily challenge of Urgent vs Important. When the baby goes down for his battery recharging nap and his much needed break from the 3 year old's constant fun, I wonder what I should do? Should I empty the dishwasher so it's ready for the next load of dishes? Should I hoover the carpet, so it is ready for the next set of crumbs?Should I play with the 3 year old so he's less ready for his brother to wake up? Should I tidy the toys so they are ready to be played with again? Should I pray so that I am ready for the next part of the day?

Today I decided to walk up and down the kitchen and pray for twenty minutes. It seemed like an active way to be still.  As I paced the kitchen praying out loud, I was a little annoyed to soon be followed by the noise of a Tonka truck and an ambulance. I just wanted peace and quiet so that I could press into God's presence. With each step I took, I was followed by smaller steps and I realized that actually it was a special moment. Yes there was the noise from the Tonka and the Nee Naw from the engine, but there was also a son, following his mum, and both of us were in God's presence. He was listening to my prayers, and as I fell silent for couple of paces, a little voice prayed his own little prayer. A reminder again to demonstrate to my children, that my relationship with Jesus is just real in the every day moments of life and the importance of the following verse:

       "Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds...

        Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home

           and when you walk along the road, (or the kitchen)

           when you lie down and when you get up." Deuteronomy 11v18-19

                                                    

Knickers!

I was recently challenged by one of my friends. She is one of those friends that God has put in my life who is the “Iron sharpening Iron”  type from Proverbs 27. I have a few of these. They are the friends who listen to my sighs. And after the understanding nod or two, they lovingly tell me to stop sighing and be grateful. They are the ones who gently point out the sin in my life, the ones that tell me to love my husband selflessly, the ones that listen but wont allow me to wallow, the ones that remind me why I am to keep training my kids and these friends are a blessing, even if its through gritted teeth at times.

So my sharp friend asked me how i was planning to be lovely to my husband on that day. And I hadn't really realized, but I was subconsciously planning to be a little mellow dramatic and needy when he got home. Afterall I'd been with the kids all day and now it was his shift; his turn to care for me and deal with the little people. But when I received her text asking such a question, it changed things around. It helped me have a different mindset. It made me actually plan to be lovely to him. And not to be selfish as if my needs were a higher priority. I was very grateful for my friend's gentle prompting. (And the husband was grateful too!)

In a women's prayer group recently, someone had the following picture;  "Imagine you came out of the toilet with your skirt tucked in your knickers - Hopefully no one in the room would let you walk around for the rest of the day like that. Hopefully they would be brave enough and compassionate enough to point it out to you." In the same way, we should be brave enough to say when we see each other with missing parts of the Armour of God. We should be able to tenderly point out to a friend, that they are letting themselves be exposed and remind them to put on each part of The Armor of God talked about in Ephesians 6. Of course there's the other side to the challenge... I do want to be the friend brave enough and compassionate enough to point things out to my sisters, but i want to also be willing to allow someone else to talk into my life, and tell me when i'm about to walk out with my skirt tucked into my knickers.    

                   "As iron sharpens iron,
                       so one person sharpens another."

                                                  Proverb 27v17

Fearfully and Wonderfully Made...that's me!

I am not known for my knitting and sewing skills like some of my friends are. They have days out at craft fayres and have knitting evenings. They produce wonderful quilts and cute little animals.  I once made a puppet out of a sock, but i'm not that counts as skillful workmanship!

I am reading through Exodus at the moment and I am struck by the attention to detail in how the tabernacle was designed and made. The curtains of fine twined linen, the blue and purple yarns with cherubim skillfully woven into them, the cubits, the gold, the Acacia wood... It is an amazing design, so precise in colour and size and numbers of clasps and hoops.

And it causes me to dwell on God's beautiful creativity. He is the ultimate in Grand Design. He is by far the best at the finishing touches. He uses the best material. He takes His time. (Or He does it in a miraculous moment). He carefully considers what is to be made. He cares about the smallest detail whilst keeping the end result in His mind. I see creation around me and it causes me to worship Him. And then i am encouraged to dwell on the fact that He created me. How loved and special i feel that the Lord who required the tabernacle in Exodus to be made with such beauty and detail, also designed me!

     "For you created my inmost being;
             you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
       I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
             your works are wonderful,

      I know that full well."

                                   Psalm 139v13-14

Guinea Pigs and Bowling Balls

Okay, so after an afternoon of birthday bowling and McDonalds with eight boys, I am finding the energy levels lacking slightly. The house is full of new boxes; science kits, magic kits, art kits, kitchen experiments kits, and a few empty rolls of Ben10 and Mario wrapping paper discarded everywhere. I now find myself watching a DVD with four boys (2 of which aren't mine). The film seems to be about guinea pigs who are spies, who are currently being chased by a coffee maker. The guinea pig's 'turbo powered running balls' have not managed to hold the husband's attention as he appears to be asleep under a Buzz Lightyear duvet on the floor.

I spent last night wrapping gifts and blowing up balloons. I spent this morning molding and shaping icing to cover a Millenium Falcon attempt of a birthday cake. I spent lunchtime realizing once again I was out of bread (and alas even out of hot cross buns and cheese strings) So I fed the two little sons random party food. I spent the afternoon keeping an eye on the baby as he attempted to be a bowling ball, and on the three year old as he was realizing the power he had over automatic doors.

I spent yesterday chatting with a friend while we both wore elephant masks, even when the children weren't making us do so anymore. I look back at the range of things I do with my days and as messy as the house is and as crazy as my 'To do' list often is, I find myself feeling grateful. I am grateful for my boys. How different my life would be without it all. It's quite easy to feel grateful after a fun day with them. But i am also aware of how grateful I am just to have them.

"Children are a heritage from the LORD,
   offspring a reward from him."

                                             Psalm 127v3

Refreshed

So I find myself this evening not exhausted. I'm not drinking coffee by the ladle. I don't have bags under my eyes. My top isn't filthy. My hands don't have glue on them. I'm not dressed as a superhero. I don't have Ben10 sellotaped to my back. I'm not struggling to stay awake. I haven't got paint under my finger nails. I haven't got yoghurt in my hair. I'm not licking Calpol off my fingers and neither am I talking to the husband in the manic way I sometimes do, as if he's the only adult I have ever seen, which is sometimes the reality of mumming.

And how do I find myself in this energized state? A child free weekend is how. A whole weekend without the beloved four. Instead I found myself having time with the husband and with friends, a glass of Baileys, 2 nights of uninterrupted sleep, dinner prepared by another, and more importantly time in God's presence to soak in His lavish promises for me.

How wonderful to rest in His goodness. How wonderful to rest beside quiet waters. How wonderful to be refreshed in his blessings. How wonderful to dwell upon His undeserved grace for me. How wonderful to be prayed for and encouraged. How wonderful to feel strengthened and envisioned. How wonderful to live in the joy of God's promises. But it's easy to do it in this setting. The challenge comes tomorrow morning. Will I still remember God's promises then? Or will I forget when I'm no longer feeling fresh? I need to remember He remains faithful to his promises no matter what my day looks like. I cannot live on the good of the weekend. I need to daily seek to spend time in His presence and His word, reminding myself of and living in the truth of His promises. This is the only way I will daily feel refreshed, even when I'm in the thick of it. 

"The law of the LORD is perfect,
   refreshing the soul."

                        Psalm 19v7

                

Eating little and often...

So we steal a lot of parenting tips from others who have gone before us. It's easier than coming up with our own ideas, and if it works for others, it may just work for me. If it doesn't work after I've tried it, I can tweak it or reject it. I like parents who are real about stuff, not pretending all is wonderful all the time, cos we all know it's not.

I read PJ Smyth's blog on parenting today. (GodFirst Blog) The part I read was about having family devotion times. PJ said he reads a story or a verse to his kids, and then asks them what bit they liked best? What they can learn from it? What does it mean for them? And the whole thing takes about 5 minutes. 
5 MINUTES!! Well, that's do-able. Then they pray... please prayers, thank you prayers, 'person next to you prayers' or popcorn prayers.

I felt so encouraged and inspired by it, and not just the inspiration which makes you feel good but inspiration you actually act on. It reminded me of something I had read once in "Barefoot in the kitchen" by Alie Stibbe. She talks about meditating on God's word all day long. She says that often we fast because we can't feast. I totally do that. I sometimes haven't got time to sit down and spend time properly in God's word, so I don't do it at all. I fast because I can't feast...but Alie's encouragement to us is that "eating little and often can be good for you". I always knew snacking was a good thing!

  "Oh, how I love your law!
   I meditate on it all day long.
 Your commands are always with me
   and make me wiser than my enemies.
 I have more insight than all my teachers,
   for I meditate on your statutes.
 I have more understanding than the elders,
   for I obey your precepts.
 I have kept my feet from every evil path
   so that I might obey your word.
 I have not departed from your laws,
   for you yourself have taught me.
 How sweet are your words to my taste,
   sweeter than honey to my mouth!
 I gain understanding from your precepts;
   therefore I hate every wrong path."  Psalm 119v97-104

Pride Before a Fall

I woke up yesterday morning under a Lightening McQueen duvet with a three year old, a number of teddy bears, a turkey and Sherrif Woody. It seems I had left my own warm place of sleep at 4am and attempted to snuggle into a single bed with my son, in order to stop getting up to his unsettled night. Surely it was easier to be in bed with him, being kneed and sleepily punched than settling in my own bed, to be woken up again in order to make the long hard journey back to his room...again!

My boys are allowed out of their room at 7:00am. But seeing as we had had friends stay over the night before, in the lounge, I thought it would be good to bless them with undisturbed sleep until 8am. We talked about how it was selfless to put their sleep before our need to play or watch some morning tele, and even before my coffee. So we read some books and I tried to play as many "laying down under a duvet" games as I could think of. Then just before 8am, I grabbed a training opportunity with my oldest;

Me; "What if we go downstairs and say 'we really blessed you, we got up at 7am but didn't disturb you until 8am, so you could sleep some more, that means we are selfless, doesn't it?'"
Number 1 son; "That would be pride mum."
So tired teaching point made, we headed downstairs to gently jump on our guests. The husband joined us an hour or so later for breakfast. And what do I hear myself saying when the husband professed how tired he was... "Well I slept in our son's bed from 4am and was up with the boys from 7am, but I didn't disturb you until 9am." 
Aarrgh, all I could hear was my son's words; "That would be pride mum".
                                             

 "Where there is strife, 

   there is pride, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."

     Proverbs13v10

I had not allowed theses verses to take root. Strife had come about because I wanted the husband to know how great I was. I hadn't listened to my own advice, advice about being selfless, and humble. Not my own advice actually, It was straight out of the Bible, straight from Jesus' example. Thankfully, the husband was full of grace, (maybe it was the extra sleep he had had). 

Have I really got time to Be Still?

This morning I've dished out three different types of cereal, with slightly frozen milk and 2 different aged Calpol. I ran out of bread so sent a child to school with a hot cross bun and a cheese string. I've changed a wet bed, taken a truck out of the toilet and defrosted what I hope is fish soup for the husband's lunch.

I've changed a nappy, found some clean-ish uniform out of a pile by the bathroom door, and brushed some teeth (not even my own). I dressed a jumpy laughing three year old, found some gloves for a cold little person, smiled graciously as I released the husband to have a shower during breakfast time, done the first level of the breakfast clear up (table surface level) and fit a door back onto a moon buggy. And it's only 9:15am. 

I'm reminded that myself and a bunch of very real, wonderful, godly, shattered women that I pray with on Wednesday mornings were going to look at some Psalms this week. So I think about my morning so far, and I think about verse 10 of Psalm 46; "Be still and know that I am God...."

I smile an ironic little smile, but decide to sit down and read a Psalm or two, before starting on the next level of the breakfast clear up (beneath the table, the level which if left untouched results in me either treading in mashed weetabix, usually bare foot, or where the baby will deem himself a hoover).

So I start reading Psalm 62 which starts; "For God alone my soul waits in silence...". And I realise that I am of course reading this while my son is pressing the buttons on his fire engine, so all I can loudly hear is "FIRE...EMERGENCY...FIRE" followed by that wonderful fire engine siren noise. So pleased I replaced the batteries. Another son is listening to his hideous plastic Christmas present which is singing The Fimbles theme tune. Maybe these Psalms aren't relevant to me. They're all about stillness and silence. I persevere with Psalm 62, seeing as I've made the decision to sit and do so, rather than rush on.

                        "For God alone my soul waits in silence;
                         from him comes my salvation.
                         He only is my rock and my salvation,
                         my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.

                         Trust in him at all times O people;
                         pour out your heart before him;
                         God is a refuge for us."

                         "God is our refuge and strength,
                          a very present help in times of trouble.
                          Be still and know that I am God.
                          I will be exalted among the nations,
                          I will be exalted in the earth!
                          The Lord of hosts is with us;
                          the God of Jacob is our fortress."

I'm glad I made the decision to sit, because I realised that in the stopping and sitting, the stillness and silence came to my soul. As I took in this truth, the truth that I am saved from my sin, that I have a fortress to run into, that I'm not easily shaken, and that I have a refuge, I felt more able to breathe and actually hear God's voice speaking over me. As I read that He is my strength and I don't have to be, I was able to be still and know Him. And even when I start on the next level of the breakfast clear up, that truth stays with me in the crazy and in the noise of life. Maybe that's why the Psalmist wrote them. They suddenly seem ever so relevant to me. Looks like I haven't got time not to Be still....

My Not So New Year’s Resolutions

I started the year by thinking about what resolutions I should make for 2011…

eat less chocolate,  no puddings-just fruit,  don’t be a nag or a drippy tap, make healthy nutritional meals for the kids, be “Fun Mum” all year round,  exercise more, read the bible every day…. etc etc.

But I didn’t entertain these ideas for long because...

Crème eggs were already in the shops (and on offer), puddings with fruit in the title are surely acceptable, like a good Apple Strudel, meatballs and pasta only takes 12minutes and costs 43p, fun mum is tired and doesn’t want to make a pasta picture or a crocodile shoe box, surely the school ‘run’ is exercise (even if it is by car), and I’d read my bible if I could find it…

So this year, mine are simple.

Practically live out the wise words found in Proverbs 3v5-6, in each and every situation I find myself in.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

     and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him,

   and he will make straight your paths.”

Oh, and write a blog...